


Brother

by Naemae



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Heartache, Manga Spoilers, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-29
Updated: 2015-09-25
Packaged: 2018-02-10 21:49:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 33
Words: 81,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2041449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Naemae/pseuds/Naemae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"What do you believe about death?" He assumed to ask.</p><p>"... It's just natural, isn't it? If there exists a paradise for everyone to enter after our hardships in life, would that make life hell, and death heaven? That makes life sound pointless."</p><p>"So you believe in a great good versus a great evil then?"</p><p>She shrugged lightly, "there's good and bad in every aspect of existence, a person might want to do good for others, but could easily end up screwing someone else over in the process. Likewise with life and death, I suppose... What I know for certain is that life is all we can know until there is no more life, so in that sense, death is nothing, an empty void where life ceases to exist. It's an end that we may likely never know."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dead or Alive

_"Eren, where are you going?"_

_Eren had turned his head, his fingertips had only just brushed against the doorknob when the shy tinkle of guiltlessness ringed in his ears. There she stood, in her new white dress, and that cute pink cardigan, a mere few steps away. She was looking at him with those big grey orbs that were tinted with an abrupt sense of apprehension and loneliness._

_"I'm just going to meet someone," he assured her, knowing the uneasiness she presented in both her lightened voice and enclosed posture._

_She looked down to her black sandals, her feet shuffled against the wooden floorboards. The red scarf reached up around her face, just below her eyes, and tickled her nose. "Oh..." She felt stupid for acting so nervous, but he got up so suddenly to leave, without telling her. She thought he was leaving her behind, that he didn't want to be around her anymore._

_He turned to face her fully, his hands resting by his sides. His head tilted as he trying to catch a peek at her face, but she looked away to hide the blush that tinted her cheeks._ _He smiled, "do you want to meet him?"_

_She glanced up with a hint of curiosity, and his smile grew bigger into a toothy grin. "Who?" She asked, with her voice muffled by the scarf._

_"A friend. I think you'd like him."_

_"Will I?"_

_His eyes rolled back "you coming or not?"_

_She nodded silently, and shuffled after him._

* * *

Trost District. June 850.

On that that day, the sky had turned dark. It was thick and grey; dejected by the carnage below. The unbound beast above bellowed in pity and anguish at the sight of such bloodshed of the poor creatures raising their swords.

Mikasa glided past the endless array of buildings. She was a raven reigning across the pouring sky. The cold wind tousled her black hair, droplets of sorrow stinging her face as each one was spat down at her. She headed to the front, to find her comrades and bring her brother back to safety. She had to let the worry pass, he had promised her before, and he was far too precious to be lost in a cruel world such as their own. She remembered those times during training, when he would look at her and tell her he could kill all the Titans. She wanted to believe him, but knew his reckless need to fight was a dangerous hindrance. She had to protect him from that desperate, never ending desire for vengeance. She had to find him, had to see him again.

She brought herself to a sudden halt, finding her comrades all scattered across the rooftops. She searched frantically, anxious at the sight of defeat.  _Why are they just sitting here? What's happening?... What happened?_

They looked to have given up, fear striking their torn features, rain drowning them in their hesitance. Some were crying, wailing for their mothers and weeping for their fallen friends, a few for their lovers. She frowned, feeling her heart sink.  _I'm sorry..._ Her mind echoed out to them, as if somehow, they could hear her and know they are not alone in their sufferings.

She found her eyes finally rest on Armin, he kept himself low, pressed against a wall a good distance distance from anyone. "Armin!" She called.  _What's wrong? Why are **you**  just sitting there? You couldn't have given up, Eren should have told you that. Have you been injured? Please don't be injured..._

He flinched, and his slumped body began trembling at the echo of her metallic voice.  _No, Mikasa, not now, no... Please, not now, not you... No, no, please no! Please..._

She trotted over, fixated on his weak form. She crouched down in front of him, checking her friend over for damage. "Armin? You okay?"

His head bobbed in one swift motion. She gave him a puzzled look, but tried dismiss those negative thoughts brewing within her mind.  _He looks scared... Of me? He's scared to talk to me? What happened to make him lose his voice?... Titans... Please be okay, Eren, Where are you? Eren? Eren?_  "Where's Eren?" She asked softly, looking around expectantly.  _Has he gone back to find me? Has he gone to find help for you? For everyone here?_

When she received no answer she looked back at him, his blue eyes bore into hers, they were bloodshot and seeping with guilt and horror and torment. Her eyes widened at this, she knew what had happened. There was no need for words, the look on his face said it all. She didn't want to believe it, she couldn't.  _No... No, please... Armin? What's with that look? Please, stop it... Please, don't look at me like that... You're scaring me, Armin. Eren, please just tell me he's here... Has he been wounded? I can take care of him, please, tell me where he is!_

"Mikasa..." Armin barely choked through the lump in his throat.  _Please, Mikasa... I'm so sorry, I could have- I should have- No... I- I'm sorry, **Eren** , everyone...  **Thomas, Mina, Nac, Mylius**... Fuck, no, just, no, no..._

 _He promised me. He said he wouldn't._ Mikasa desperately searched Armins' eyes, for what she wanted to hear, no, what she so badly  _needed_  to hear.

Several people stopped and stared, hearing Armins' ragged sobs.

 _I have to tell her, I have to tell everyone... She needs to know, she has to be told. They deserved to be recognised for their efforts... For their **sacrifice**. _ Armin found whatever strength he could, he had to give them at least that as he spoke of their end.

"Those... Of the 34th Squad...  **Thomas Wagner, Nac Tias, Mylius Zeramuski, Mina Carolina,**  and  **Eren Jaeger**...! All accomplished their duties and were heroically  **killed in action**!" Armins' entire body was shaking feverishly "I'm so sorry, Mikasa... Eren died in my stead... I... Couldn't do anything... I'm so sorry."

Armin could barely speak as he finished, only Mikasa could hear his last words as his body broke down into harsh shivers.

Mikasa looked down, blind of all forms of light.  _ **He's gone**... I- I didn't make it to him on time...  **He died**.  **Why**  Eren?  **Why...?**   **Why**  didn't you listen to me?  **Why**  didn't I ignore you then?  **Why**  Didn't I just come with you?  **Why**  Wasn't I here?  **Why**  is Armin still alive?  **Why**  couldn't you be here too?!  **Why**  Eren?!  **EREN?!**   **I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU** , YOU CAN'T BE DEAD, YOU PROMISED ME!  **EREN!**  WHERE ARE YOU?! PLEASE, ANSWER ME!  **WHY?! I WANT YOU HERE, I WANT YOU WITH ME, I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE!**_

**Cut the crap, Mikasa.**

_Eren?_

**Pull yourself together.**

_But, Eren... You... I..._

**Everyone is in real danger! Quit being so selfish, stop thinking only about _what you want._**

_I'm sorry, Eren... I... I'll do it, **for you**._

She saw Armin, crying down at the tiles of the roof.  _Armin... Be strong, for Eren. You can't die here._ She took Armins' hand gently and met with his dread, meeting his desperate gaze. Her eyes looked so dead, so lifeless. That glitter of grey hope had faded into dark pools of secret despair.

_Mikasa... You, you... Please, hate me, It's my fault... You deserve to hate me... I didn't help them, and I've done this to you..._

"Armin. Take a deep breath. This isn't the time to get emotional..." her voice was like torn silk.  _Stop it, Armin. Please, stop it._

Her words slit through his very soul, it was almost as though they weren't intended for him.  _But for herself..._

"Here, stand up." She lifted him up by the hand. She turned immediately from him, trying to hide the toxic blend of woe and spite.

The air was stiff and rigid. The tense atmosphere could be cut with one of their swords. Everyone watched her walk to the edge of the rooftop.

"Marco, if we eliminate the Titans swarming HQ, we can refill our gas tanks and climb the wall, right?"  _I'll do what I can, **for you** , for them._

Everyone was taken aback by her steady tone, it was far too steady for someone who just lost their brother, their friend, some thought lover.

"Yeah, that's right" Marco replied hesitantly. "But even if it's  _you_ , there are too many-"

She struck him down with the flash of a deathly glare "I can do it. I'm strong." She raised her blade into the air.  _ **For you**._  "Stronger than all of you. Far stronger. I can kill all of those Titans. Even if I have to alone."  ** _I'm alone now._**

 _She is strong, no doubt. But something isn't right, she's not herself, she's wearing a mask..._ Armin thought.

"What the hell are you saying?!"

"You're going to take on that many Titans by yourself?!"

"There's no way that's-"

She stopped him "if I can't, I'll just die" and turned to look away from them. "But if I win, I'll live. If I don't fight, I can't win."  _That's what you told me, Eren... Now they know, are you happy, Eren? I tried to save them, I tried to tell them._ And with that, she leapt from the roof and soared off.

"Mikasa..." Armin mumbled, rubbing his eyes with his bloodied sleeve.  _I'll follow you, if you can go on, I'll try too... I have to make sure you don't die, I can't let you go, I can't let anyone else die because of me..._

Jean slapped his palm against his head, he was afraid, but he knew he couldn't stay there.  _I can't leave her to fight for us, while we just sit here and allow her to die for us. Not you, Mikasa. If you can still fight, so can we._  "Hey! I don't recall being taught to leave our comrades to fight alone! You're all gonna become real cowards!" He raised his swords and raced after Mikasa.

And so, one by one, everyone followed, Armin one of the first after he wiped away his doubts.

Sasha stood on the edge of the roof, calling back to everyone who hadn't got up or moved. "Hey, cowards, weaklings, idiots!" And she leapt too.  _We can do it! Mikasa's right!_

Everyone erupted from the rooftops, following Mikasa's lead as she slashed down Titans at an incredible speed.  _Die._

"How is she moving so fast?" Connie asked, trying to keep up.

 _She's using too much gas. At this rate... she's going to run out right away. I don't care how strong she is, without our maneuver gear, we're defenseless!_ Armin bit his bottom lip as he watched her.  _I get it now... She's trying to drown out the pain through action._

As if on cue, Mikasa suddenly dropped from the air, crashing onto a roof and into an alleyway.

"Mikasa!" Armin immediately charged in her direction, she was quite far away though. " _Please be okay_."

Connie followed after him, leaving Jean to lead the race for HQ.

...

Mikasa fell onto her knees, letting her hands fall against the cold, wet ground.  _It happened again... I lost my family again. This pain is familiar._

Around the corner, a twelve metre Titan noticed her fall, and was slowly coming to claim its' prize. It's belly heaving at every pregnant step, likely full of her comrades, her friends.

 _This world is **merciless**... And it's also very  **beautiful.**_  She thought of that day, oh so long ago. He wrapped his scarf around her head, taking her home.  _I tried, Eren. I tried to save them, they might not die now... I've done what you told me. My final duty. **Thank you, Eren.**_  She looked up, her eyes pleading to the dull grey sky.  ** _I've lived a good life..._**

And so she waited, and waited, each earth pounding step taking its time. Each moment agonizing. But still she waited, unmoving. It's hand reached out slowly, creeping further and further towards her, ready to grasp her in its' filthy palm.

She slashed off its' fingers with her broken sword, and leapt back before it swung it's other hand at her.

_I don't understand, **why**  am I fighting it?  **Why**  am I struggling?_

It swung its' healing hand at her again, tossing her across the alleyway. She slowly stood with a raspy cough.  _Why am I standing?_

The Titan stumbled into the debris it had created, too anxious to kill. Giving Mikasa time to think.

_My life has no meaning anymore... So **why**  am I still fighting?_

The Titan loomed over her, grinning devilishly. She stepped back a few steps, before turning to run.

**FIGHT!**

_Eren...?_ She froze, coming to a halt as the Titan behind her paced closer. It grabbed her, pulling her up to level with its' eyes. It was staring at her, as though she were the most tiniest meal it had ever seen. Its' mouth opened slowly, the strands of saliva stretched from its' upper and lower jaw as it gaped.

**FIGHT! YOU MUST FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!**

Her eyes swelled, pricking with tears.  _ **I'm sorry, Eren...**  I won't give up._ She could remember him, his peaceful sleeping face all those years ago when they were just children.  _I'll never give up again._ The tears fell down her face silently, sliding off of her chin and down her neck.  _If I died, I wouldn't be able to remember you... So I'll win, no matter what!_

_..._

"Mikasa!" Armin yelled, catching sight of Mikasa as she was grabbed by a fearsome twelve metre Titan. He charged onward as fast as he could, he saw her break free, stabbing. her broken blade into the Titans' face. It held onto her legs, pulling her down into its' mouth. She relented, grabbing its' flesh and stabbing again, pulling herself upwards so she was leaning on its' nose.  _Hold on, Mikasa, hold on!_

"Connie, I need you to go for its' neck! I'll keep it distracted" Armin called back to Connie, who was a few metres behind.

"I'll try my best!" Connie replied, grinding his teeth as he focused on the Titan ahead of him.  _I can't fail, I can't, straight for the nape of the neck. Like training. Come on..._

 _Don't be afraid. I can't let my fear take over, not again._ Armin smashed into the Titans' hand, cutting his blades into it. Its' hold loosened ever so slightly, he didn't pierce deep enough.

"Armin?!" Mikasa yelped, pulling herself further up the Titans' face, but it kept enough grip on her legs to prevent her escape.  _What are you doing, **Armin?**  Go away, you need to live._

 _"_ Connie!" Armin yelled, voice hitched with fear.

"I know!" Connie yelled, pulling the first trigger of his maneuver gears' handles, forcing the grappling hooks to connect with the back of the Titans' neck. He pulled the lever at the back of each handle, and the gas pushed him forward. He extended his blades, and slashed with as much force as his arms could manage.

The Titan froze, its' eyes rolling back behind its' lids. It fell forward, loosening its' grip on Mikasa.

"You did it!" Armin called, pushing himself up to catch Mikasa before she fell.  _We did it... We saved you..._ He thought as he kept a firm hold around her torso.  _She's quite heavy..._ he noted, crashing onto the nearest rooftop, letting Mikasa fall a metre in front of him. "Mikasa, are you okay?!"

"I'm fine... Armin?" She looked in disbelief.  _ **You**   **saved**   **me?**_

Connie then landed next to them, better than they had to say the least. "Are you guys alright?!" Connie beamed.

"Yes" Armin quickly replied. "Thanks for your help."  _We wouldn't have made it without you._

Connie nodded "we've got to get out of here."  _I can boast when we get the fuck back to safety._

"I've got a problem. I'm out of gas."  _ **Sorry**._

There was a stagnant pause, how the hell did he forget that?

Armin looked down and bit his lip again. "Here, Mikasa... Take my tanks, you need them more than I do." He began to take the tanks out of their holsters and replace them with Mikasas'.  _Let me help you, I need to help you._

"Armin." She grabbed his wrist, stopping him from replacing the second one.  _Don't be stupid, **Armin**._

"It's okay, I know I'm useless, but at least I can do this for you. You should take my blades too. But could you leave me this one? At the very least... I don't want to be eaten alive." He held her broken blade in his hand, staring at it with a fearful glint of tragedy.

She took the blade from him, throwing it into the alleyway without a moment to spare thought to the motion.  _ **Your not useless** , you never were useless._

"But..." He stared down where to she threw it, his eyes trembled.

"Armin" she called his name gently, as she touched his shaking hand.  ** _You saved me._**

He turned his head slowly to look at her, confused and fearful. He could see the sad expression on her face, the light tint in her eyes shifted slightly but repeatedly.  _Is she pitying me?_

"I won't leave you behind" the light seeped through the clouds, lighting her short, black hair.

His eyes widened further. "B-but, with so many Titans around, you can't possibly carry me along..."

"I will not leave you behind." Her voice became harder, more assertive.  _I will not let you give up that easily._

Another pause, Mikasa looked him in the eye, not letting her gaze falter.

Armin looked down in defeat. "You still need the gas more than I do, let me replace the other one..."

She didn't argue this time, but still didn't seem happy as he place his other tank into her holster.

"I could carry you, Armin. Mikasa needs the mobility, she's better at facing the Titans than me, I know that."  _Even though I made a pretty cool kill just now... Can't believe I pulled that off._

"I-"

"Come one, let's go, we haven't got time to argue anymore." Mikasa ran to the edge of the building, Connie grabbed him by the wrist, pulling him to run with them.  _No! Please... I'll just end up getting more of my friends killed!_

 _"Wait!"_  Armin yelled, pulling back his arm.

"What is it? We don't have much time, Armin" Connie groaned.

"We need to be more vigilant, with so many Titans around. If you won't leave me behind, then at least let be a look out for you both. We have to avoid a fight at all costs. You and Mikasa can handle short distance observation, for any Titans' I can't spot I'll handle long distance and try to map out the quickest, and safest route."  _I promise, I won't be a burden, forgive me._

"Alright" Mikasa agreed.  _I trust your judgement, Armin. Think better of yourself. Don't you realise we need you?_

 _"_ Fine" Connie lifted Armin up and they leapt from the rooftop.

"Mikasa, you should stay behind, keep an eye open for Connie. Connie, keep your eyes open" Armin planned, keeping an eye on the distance, where he saw HQ.

_We have to fight. And we will win. **I promise, Eren.**_


	2. HQ

_Walking side by side down the market street, Eren and Mikasa passed stalls selling fish, farbrics and jewellery. It was so busy here, Mikasa wasn't used to the busy city. Although, perhaps now it was a good thing. She needed the distraction sometimes. It had been less than a week since the Yeagar family took her in. She was was still settling down to the fact she had a new family, a brother. It was different to how she used to imagine it._

_"Eren..." She mumbled._

_He tilted his gaze, settling his eyesight on her "huh?"_

_"Nothing." She looked down, watching each step before it came. Eren scratched his head, his new sister was a mystery._

_"So... umm..." He started, but couldn't find the right words, or really any words. She looked up, he was looking away into space. She smiled. What does one ask his sister?... "So how have you been?"_

_She raised a brow "alright, your mom is nice."_

_He looked back at her and grunted "she's sooo annoying, do this, do that."_

_She sighed quietly "So who's your friend we're going to meet?"_

_"His name is Armin, he's pretty cool."_

"HQ, it looks completely overrun!" Connie gasped, clutching onto Armin.

Mikasa led the way towards HQ, no more than a mile away. Connie struggled behind, the extra weight making him lag, luckily Armin didn't weigh very much or they wouldn't have made it this far.

"Mikasa, your left!" Armin yelled.

She extended her swords and hovered left, then saw a 12 meter class, shaking erratically in an almost jog. An abnormal. She swung behind it, slicing through it's neck quickly. Connie and Armin passed, seeing the Titan fall. Mikasa took to the lead once more, with ease.

"Hey, it looks like Jean and the others!" Connie yelled with enthusiasm. They raced after them, passing a gathering of Titans that looked to have savaged some of their comrades. They got by easily, while the Titans were still distracted. They were so close now, they could see the broken windows that their comrades had crashed through.

Almost there, almost out of gas.

They made it, crashing through a window.

Connie let go of Armin "We made it! Just in time, I'm out of gas."

"Your alive!" Jean called over, eyes wide.

The wall at the end of the corridor exploded, exposing two Titans' faces, peeping in with devilish glee.

"Titans! Hurry, run!" Everyone scrambled deeper into the building. Jean stood there, staring, gritting his teeth, pupils dilated.

"Come on, Jean! We've got to go!" Connie yelled, but it didn't hit him. They were at the door on the far end of the hall. Mikasa, running over to him, grasped his arm and dragged him back, and out of the exposed room. They reached the stairway and she let him go.

They met with Connie, Armin, Reiner, Sasha, Annie, Bertholdt, Marco, Ymir and Christa.

"It's good to see we all made it" Christa let out her relief.

"Not everyone..." Jean gritted under his breath, but more to himself than to Christa.

"We made it, that's all we can count on for now. But we have to keep moving, we need to refill our tanks." Armin added.

They walked, but found that the basement was filled with 5 meter class Titans. Going down there would be suicide.

"I think I... I have a plan..." Armin spoke.

...

They distracted the Titans, lowering a gathering of fearful soldiers. Guns blazed, catching the Titans' eyes in a swift blind eruption. They struck them down from behind. Connie and Sasha missed, but were saved by Mikasa and Annie without much trouble.

...

Mikasa sat beside Armin, filling up their tanks like everyone else. Armin couldn't believe his plan worked, no one was killed! There had been too much death already. He frowned, knowing they still had to reach the wall.

"Armin, thank you." He turned, looking at Mikasa. "For what?"

"You and Connie came after me. I'm not sure if I could have got out of there by myself."

He looked back down, knowing she sure would have put up a fight by herself. But the guilt dominated him, not allowing a smile to curve on his lips "I couldn't lose another friend, not you." He barely breathed.

She closed her eyes, thinking of Eren. It hurt her. She had to be strong though, for him, for both of them. "Don't worry, Armin." She picked up her second tank, and started to fill it.

They sat quietly, listening to everyones' relieved chatter, reconnecting with their friends before they had to head out on their next aerobatic marathon.

"You ready?" She asks him, standing.

"Y-yeah" he hesitated.

"Let's get out of here!" Someone called "We'll all head out together!"

Mikasa flew out and onto a nearby rooftop, scanning the area ahead of her and everyone who was charging for the wall. She would wait for him.

Armin emerged from HQ, looking up to see Mikasa. Jean went after her, patting Armins' back as he passed him. Armin was ready to go too, but heard some whispering behind him. He turned, seeing Reiner, Bertholdt and Annie. Reiner and Bertholdt looked like they were arguing, Annie kept her distance from the two but was clearly waiting for them, listening.

He couldn't hear what they were arguing about.

"Guys, aren't you coming? We have to run" he pleaded, catching their attention.

Annie spoke up, her arms folded. "We'll catch up, don't worry, Armin."

He nodded, turning to leave reluctantly.  _Dont worry..._

He landed on the rooftop next to Mikasa and Jean. "Took your time, let's go" Jean shifted his head, indicating for them to follow the others. Armin took one last look to HQ, where Annie, Reiner and Bertholdt still were. He shook off his thoughts "Yes, let's go."

Almost at the wall, Mikasa stuck close to Armin. "Thanks for waiting for me" he said, the wind catching in his breath a little. She looked at him but didn't speak, confusing him a little. He wondered if she was mad, but knew better. She was just being herself, quiet old Mikasa. His mind then turned back, thinking of the three back at HQ. Was something wrong? Should he have waited for them? There was nothing he could do though, even if he did wait. They were strong, he was weak. They would be fine without his help.

A strike of lightning sounded behind them, a familiar fright. Everyone froze, looking back, not wanting to look back.

The Armored Titan had appeared.


	3. Titans

_The bookshop door opened, the little brass bell giving a light ring._

_"Eren!"_

_A little blonde boy came from around the corner, letting go of a book he had been reading. He had the biggest smile on his face, Mikasa noted his big blue eyes._

_"Hey, Armin" Eren pulled Armin in for a hug, the smaller blonde looking awkward, but humble._

_Mikasa stood quietly, watching them curiously with a steady gaze._

_"This is Armin" Eren turned to her, Armin looking her way as well giving her a little smile too "hello."_

_"Hello" she hummed back quietly, face half hidden behind her scarf._

"Hurry! It's coming!" People screamed, reaching the wall. "It's going to break through the gate!" "The Titans are going to kill us all!"

Jean, Mikasa and Armin had just reached the wall, looking back in horror. The Armored Titan had found a clear path down to the gate. It readied itself to sprint.

"We have to do something! We can't let the Titans breach Rose!"

Armin looked up, then back to the Armored Titan. It was going to charge at any moment, nothing could stop it.

"Quickly! Come on! Get them moving quicker!" They looked down, just at the gate, several soldiers pushed a team of heavy horses which pulled along large chained spikes across the ground. The spikes were huge, double pointed and pointing upward. Armin got it, they were trying to catch the Armored Titan in its tracks, the spikes could hook it's feet. At the least they could slow it down enough so it couldn't breach the gate. No, they had to do something more

Armin flew down to meet the soldiers.

"We have to go, it's charging!" They men called. Armin pulled at the reins of a horse "don't go, keep the horses moving!" Armin pleaded.

"Armin!" Mikasa called, landing next to him. "Mikasa, I've got a plan! The horses need to move."

"Wha-"

"Trust me, please!"

She hesitated. But saw that look in his eyes, she immediately started hitting the flanks of the horses with her sword, making sure not to use the sharp edge. "Move!" She yelled, grabbing Armin and fleeing just as the Armored Titan came close. They looked back, the horses she hit started jerking forward, forcing the others to follow, the spikes were moving, in the Titans' direction, both sides gaining speed.

Mikasa and Armin landed on a high rooftop, she glared at him, baring her teeth. He lowered his head submissively, trying not to meet her glare, and more at the Armored Titan. It's foot crushed several horses, the next foot hit the spikes, slipping back at the friction of the wheels underneath which were pushed by the horses. They broke, crushed under it's weight. The Titan's impaled foot slipped backward, tripping it's body forward. It stubbled, but didn't fall.

Cannons sounded from above, firing down at the Titan. Some crashed into the ground around it, a couple hit it's head. They didn't injure it, but forced it's upper weight to shift down more. It's arms gripped the ground below, it had fell.

They gasped, the Armored Titan had been stopped in it's tracks? Mikasa stares in awe for a moment, then her eyes took a more aggressive glint. She charged, her blades sharpened in front of her.

Another flash of lightning struck the earth, bringing another 15 meter class Titan, sprinting towards them. A female Titan.

"Mikasa!" Armin called, but couldn't move from the roof quick enough, the Female Titan was there, she was moving so fast. Another abnormal?

Jean bounded in Mikasa's direction, clashing into her, forcing her in the opposite direction back to Armin. Just in time, the Female Titan passed them by a mere meter or two.

"Are you alright?!"

"I'm fine."

They turned back to the two abnormals, in horror. The Female Titan was tearing into the Armored Titan's neck.

"What?" They gasped.

It's neck tore open, revealing something underneath, someone. Before they could closer see, she tore the person out, her mouth tearing up to her ears. Before the cannons could fire again, they sprinted back in the direction she came.

They all stared, everyone in disbelief. The empty Titan melted into the ground, steam sprouting into the atmosphere.

...

"You three. 104th Training Corps graduates? Correct?"

"Yes, sir." They answered Dot Pixis, Commander of the Southern District Stationary Guard.

"What are your names?"

"I'm Jean Kirschtein."

"Mikasa Ackerman."

"Armin Arlert."

"Arlert, what were you doing with the horses?" Pixis looked curiously through half closed lids.

He took a breath "Sir, I thought that if I got the horses moving forward, the movement of the spikes could cause the Armored Titan to stumble more easily. I thought it would be more effective than them staying still, the Titan might have just broke through them."

"Hmm, and you thought right. However, the Titan did excape, accompanied by a new Female Titan. And we have lost Trost. I guess it could be considered good that wall Rose is intact, but this is still a disturbing event."

"Sir, I know this may sound unbelievable... But I believe the Colossal, Amored and Female Titan just discovered are in fact human... When the Female Titan appeared, she tore out a person from the Armored Titans' neck."

"That's quite the theory, Arlert. But a possible one. Your a good strategist and I wish you luck in the future, whatever path you choose. This will be taken into consideration."

"Thank you, sir."

"You two, Kirschtein, Ackerman. Well done, loyalty has it's rewards. Now, there are matters I must attend to."

"Sir!" The three saluted as he left.

The stood at the top of the wall, looking over to Trost.

"This doesn't feel real, it's not normal..." Jean said, clutching his forehead.

"I know the feeling..." Armin agreed, looking down at his feet.

Mikasa's eyes opened an extra inch "Soldiers."

"I think that's... the Scouting Legion." Armin answered.


	4. Branches

_"Armin's got this really cool book!" Eren eyes were full of glee._

_The three walked down the market street, Eren in the middle of the trio._

_Mikasa glanced over to Armin nonchalantly. Armin tangled his fingers together nervously, blushing._

_"It's all about the outside world, beyond the walls." Eren added._

_"Beyond the walls?" Mikasa hummed._

_A few people around them overheard, looking nervous and grudgingly at them._

_"We can't be expected to stay in these cages people calls protection for long! How do we know they won't be knocked down today?!"_

_"I doubt that would happen, Eren..." Mikasa mumbled into her scarf._

_"Your not like them as well are you Mikasa? They treat us like livestock."_

_"Things are fine the way they are right now..." She mumbled._

_Eren shut up. Armin raised a brow._

_"So you two are brother and sister now?..." He laughed cautiously. "I always wondered what it was like to have a brother or sister..."_

_"We're like family though... So me and Mikasa are like your siblings."_

_"Eren... it's not quite the same" Armin giggled._

_Mikasa smiled at the thought._

"Are you guys alright?!" Connie asked hysterically.

"We're fine." Annie replied, void of emotion.

"You were the last over the wall! We thought you guys..."

"We were about to leave HQ, then some Titans spotted us. We took care of them though" Reiner assured him, Bertholdt by his side.

The street was crawling with soldiers, injured and uninjured. A small crowd had gather around to see the trio, relieved some of the top 5 made it.

"I can't believe we lost so many of our comrades" Connie noted as he looked around.

"Yeah, even Jaegar..." someone mentioned.

Mikasa turned her head at the name, but turned back to her friends before she heard anything else.

"Mikasa?" Jean asked.

"I'm fine."

Armin looked up at her, he knew she was coping, but could see the pain in her eyes still. She needed time to take in what had happened still. So did he, so did everyone in fact. For everyone they had lost, they needed time.

...

It had been a week since the fall of Trost. Recruitments were starting soon.

Armin stood by himself, glancing around the hall, seeing everyone make small chat, trying to reconnect. He then saw Annie by herself, drinking from a tankard nonchalantly.

"Hey, Annie." He offered her a smile.

She looked up, her expression emotionless. "Armin?"

His smile disappeared and he looked down, thinking. "Have you decided what branch your going to join?"

She took a sip of her tankard "the Military Police."

Armin looked back up at her, surprised.

"I don't plan to die" she told him, without any real change in her tone. "And you?"

"I... The Scouting Legion..."

She glanced at him, curious "Why?"

He held in a breath, thinking back. Before he could answer, she stopped him, understanding. "You don't have to live someone elses life, you know. It's a waste."

Armin looked in her eyes, something other than nonchalance was there, he couldn't quite put his finger on it. Concern? Annie? Couldn't be...

"It's not like that, really... I've always wanted to go outside the walls, you see. And perhaps, I can help humanity better on the front lines."

Her gaze didn't falter as she began to ask "what would you do if you were ordered to die?"

He considers this for a moment before answering "if it's for a good reason, then I would do it..."

Her eyes widened slightly, surprised by his answer. She looked down at her tankard "I can't offer my life up so easily."

...

That night, everyone remaining of the 104th Trainees Corps graduates were gathered around, given a speech by Erwin Smith. The leader of the Recon Corps. The fire lit up the fear in their eyes.

"Now you all have the cold, hard facts. Any still willing to risk their lives, remain here. Ask yourselves:  _Am I willing to offer up my beating heart for mankind_?"

Most of them flinched, taking steps back. It was natural, to not want to die. Especially the way they had all seen a mere week ago. To everyone they loved or cared for. They didn't want to chase the same fate.

"That is all. All those wishing to join another branch are dismissed."

He did give them the cold, hard facts. It was no secret the fatalilty rate was so high. Everyone had to be told, the Commander couldn't lie to them. They had to know what they were getting into.

Rightly so, many left. Those who wanted to stay, stood their ground. They watched everyone pass them, so many of them were leaving. None of them wanted to die, they'd all seen how they were one day going to die.

The courtyard grew silent even to the sounds of the torches flickering in the breeze.

No more than 20 stayed, among those were Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Connie, Sasha, Christa, Ymir, Reiner and Bertholdt.

"Are you all willing to die if ordered to?" Erwin Smith asked.

He recieved a reply "I don't want to die!"

He smiled "I see. I like the looks on your faces. I hereby welcome you all to the Scouting Legion! This is a true salute! Offer up your hearts!"

Mimicing the Commander, every pulling their fists over their hearts, the other behind their backs. They were all still afraid, but all knew what they had chosen.

"You have done well to overcome your mortal fear. You are brave soldiers. You have my heartfelt respect."

...

"Jean, where's Marco?" Sasha asked sheepishly.

"He's joining the Military Police."

"Oh... I should have done that" her eyes wellowed with tears.

"Then why didn't you?" He asked.

"I'm so stupid!" She burst out, covering her eyes.

"Don't cry, Sasha. I'm sure we'll all be fine..." Christa held her shoulder gently, offering her half her loaf of bread.

"I dont want any bread!" She continued to cry, taking everyone by surprise. She then glanced at the bread again, before biting it out of Christas' hand.

"I was worried there..." Connie spoke, eyes wide.

"I think we all were" Christa gave out a light giggle, Ymir pulled her into her chest, wrapping her arms around her. Christa blushed.

"Mikasa?" Armin looked to her.

"Armin?" She asked.

"Nothing..." He looked back down at his meal, before taking another bite of his bread.

"Don't worry Armin."

"I'm not, I'm just thinking."

"About what?"

He took a moment, swallowing. "Everything..."

She ruffled his blonde bangs with her fingers, he looked over to her, confused. She offered him a hint of her soft smile. He blushed a little, before giving her an awkward smile back.

"Don't worry" she said again, her words were like stroked velvet.

"I'll try" he admitted. She lifted her hand away again, back onto her lap.


	5. Mikasa Problems

_"Leave him alone!" Eren yelled, trying to break free from an older boys' hold._

_"Shut up, brat! This is what you two get for-"_

_The boy let go of Eren, falling back hard onto the ground. "What the hell?!"_

_Mikasa stood behind him, before kicking him in the face. That was definately going to leave a mark..._

_"Go away." She ordered in a low tone. "Or else this gets worse."_

_The two remaining boys, one holding down Armin, the other grabbing his white shirt, readying another punch at him. "Go get her!"_

_"Dude, I can't hit a girl! You get her!"_

_Eren stood in front of her, protectively "nobody hurts Mikasa, you bastards!"_

_"That things no girl! Look at her, she's a little demon!"_

_From behind Eren, Mikasa bore down her sights, eyes glaring with venomous spite. The boys hearts caught in their throats, gums drying up too._

_"Let him go." She snarled again._

_"Fuck this! Let's get out of here!" They dropped Armin, picked up their bloodied, unconscious friend and ran off. "We'll get you next time!" They yelled from a distance down the road._

_"Are you alright?" Eren asked, helping his friend up._

_"I'm fine..." Armin rubbed his eyes with his blue sleeve. He looked up with red eyes to Eren and then Mikasa "thank you..."_

Mikasa stroked the green texture of her Scouting Legion cloak. It felt nice. She was sitting on her new bed, in a new room she now had. There were two beds in the room but no one had bunked with her yet. There were so few who joined the Scouting Legion, it was no surprise they had beds to spare in the big building of the headquarters.

She sighed, looking out the window. Morning, the sun was not long up, much like her. "Good morning, Eren..." she whispered into the cold, empty space, clutching onto the loose threads on the end of her scarf,  _his_  scarf rather. There was no reply, there never was. She knew there wouldn't be, ever again.

She stood, and made for the door. A new dawn and a new day.

...

"Mikasa, did you sleep well?" Christa asked in a sweet, cheery tone, sitting next to Ymir as usual. Ymir kept an eye on Chista as she tore into her bread.

"Yes, it was fine." She nodded in mere acknowledgement.

"I hate to think you were by yourself these past few nights, you should really have asked me and Ymir to come over" she smiled.

"Are you kidding? The great and powerful Mikasa can take care of herself! Besides, when night falls... you're all mine" Ymir hummed into Christas' ear seductively, making her face flush numberless shades of red. "Ymir!" Christa moaned with embarrassment. "I can't help it, you're so cute when you blush!" Ymir pinched Christas' cheeks playfully.

Mikasa turned back to her food, taking short nibbles of her bread.

"Hey, Mikasa."

She looked up blankly, seeing Armin, but didn't reply to him.

"Can I sit?" He asked, tilting his head a little to the side, his hands behind his back.

She moved over, giving him room next to her. He sat down quietly.

She went back to her food, not really paying attention to him. He looked down, puzzled. Was she mad at him? Actually, he'd likely know if she was mad at him... Homesick? No... She's too Mikasa to be homesick. Was she sick of her new home? That wouldn't bother her too much... Maybe she was tired? He looked up, she didn't have any bags under her eyes, she just looked normal. The distant old Mikasa...

"Is something on my face?" She asked, taking him by surprise.

"Uh.. No, I was ah... You seem a little... distant?"

"Distant?"

"Yeah..."

He fumbled his fingers on the table, looking away from her desperately.

She raised a brow, rubbing off the crumbs from her mouth "it's just some girl problems."

"Girl... problems?"

She blushed, her body recoiling back from him "no, not like that..."

"Oh... Sorry. Should I... Should I go?"

She composed herself again, still a little flushed "it's your choice, I won't object either way."

"What are you two conspiring?" Jean walked over, planting himself in a seat opposite them.

"N-nothing." Armin chirped.

"What's gotten you all jumpy?"

Armin looked down in defeat, letting out a sigh.

"Mikasa's just having some lady problems is all" Ymir snapped in, sniggering.

Mikasa looked up, blushing profusely again. She could see the delight on Ymirs' face by her reaction.

Jean coughed awkwardly "lady problems..." Another cough.

"Ymir, don't be rude!" Christa protested, protecting Mikasas' dignity.

" _Anyway..._  I'll leave you to it. Armin?" Jean got up, indicating his head to go. Armin followed "right."

Mikasa sighed, she needed some Titans to kill...

"Mikasa Ackerman?"

Mikasa looked up, seeing a ginger haired girl looking down at her. "Yes?"

"My name is Petra Ral, I was wondering if you could come with me? The Lance Corporal would like to speak with you."

She looked cautiously, and nodded.

...

"You're probably wondering what this is about?" Petra tried to liven up the mood, this Mikasa girl was so damn quiet!

Mikasas' expression didn't change, but she looked up to meet Petra's big amber eyes.

"I wouldn't worry about it too much, it's a good thing he's calling for you. It's not really my place to tell you what this is about. I'm sorry" she smiled.

"I'm not worried" she said calmly, but not too loud. "But I am wondering why the Lance Corporal couldn't come and find me himself."

"He's quite busy, him and the Commander have been busy trying to work out a plan with the Stationary Guard. About Trost I mean."

"Oh."

"I should probably warn you beforehand. The Lance Corporal isn't really the most approachable person... But he is a good man."

Mikasa just nodded, she'd faced worse people.

They reached a door, Petra knocked soundly before entering. "Sir, I found Mikasa Ackerman."

Like she had mentioned, Commander Erwin Smith and Lance Corporal Levi were there, planning something it seemed. "Ah, good. Thank you, Ral, your dismissed."

She saluted with a smile and left the room.

Mikasa stood silently, waiting for them to address her. She looked at the Lance Corporal, he looked a lot shorter than she remembered...

"Did Ral tell you why you were brought here?" The Commander asked.

"No, Sir." She replied in a simple, steady tone.

"You're now on my squad, Ackerman." Levi bluntly put it.

She gave a puzzled look, but tried to hide it as best she could.

"I've heard quite a bit about you. Number 1 graduate of the 104th Training Corps graduates, said to be worth 100 soldiers, some of the recruits have spoken quite well of you as leading them to HQ in Trost to refill their gas... They also mentioned a brother of yours that was killed in Trost."

She gave him a warning glare, but he remained nonchalant, almost satisfied with her reaction.

"We'll see how strong you are in time. Your dismissed."

She saluted reluctantly and left.

"She hates you already. She couldn't leave quick enough." The Commander noted, almost amused.

"She's too emotional."

"About her brothers' death? Who wouldn't be. I've made my decided, she's too strong to be put to waste anywhere else. Do you doubt my decision to put her on your squad?"

He glanced up "I trust your decision, Erwin."


	6. Armin's Worried

_"You know what I'm gonna do?"_

_Eren, Mikasa and Armin sat next to the river, the sun starting to set over the walls._

_"I'm gonna join the Scouting Legion!"_

_"Eren...?" Mikasa's mood dimmed._

_"To see the outside world?" Armin asked, glancing over at Mikasa, who looked upset by the notion._

_"Yeah, I'm gonna kill all those Titans! And we can go outside without having to worry anymore."_

_"I don't want you to go, that's stupid." Mikasa spoke low, but Eren and Armin heard her._

_"Don't worry, Mikasa" Armin offered._

_"Yeah, I can take care of myself, you know." Eren huffed._

Mikasa woke up in her bed, alone again. She brushed her fingertips against the old fur blanket, it was so soft. She turned on her side, looking out the window. The sun hadn't woke up yet. She shuffled further under her blanket, basking in the warmth. "Morning..." She whispered, closing her eyes again.

She got up a few minutes later, couldn't get back to sleep. She dressed slowly, taking her time. The sun had peeked over the wall as she did her final belt.

She left her room, readying for the hall for her breakfast. She closed the door behind her, noticing she wasn't the only person up in the hallway.

"Hey, Mikasa" Christa waved, walking towards her.

"Hello" she nodded.

"Another good sleep, I hope" she smiled, standing beside her, looking up.

She nodded again.

"I'm glad. Are you going to get breakfast?" She asked.

"Yes." Mikasa then realised that Ymir wasn't with the girl, she looked behind her, wondering if she didn't notice her presence somehow...

"Ymir's just getting ready. Want to go to breakfast with me? She won't mind, I'm sure" her soft blue eyes glittered with cheer.

"It's alright, thanks though" Mikasa have her a half smile, Christa was sweet and was trying to be friends. Mikasa just... wasn't really in the mood for socialisation at the minute. Especially when the thought of Ymir getting jealous of Christa going to breakfast with her. She walked away to breakfast.

...

"Mikasa, I heard you've been assigned to the Lance Corporals' squad" Armin sat beside her when he had entered the hall. She was sitting by herself, even though there were a lot of their friends around.

"How did you know?" She asked, turning her eyes in his direction.

"Commander Pixis asked for me yesterday, and I overheard Commander Erwin and Lance Corporal Levi speaking..."

She looked down, thinking.

"Do you not want to be on his squad?"

"He's... It doesn't matter."

Armin looked down, letting out a small sigh.

Mikasa felt bad. "So, why was the Commander asking for you?..."

"He wanted me to listen in on their plan for retaking Trost, he asked my opinion..."

"Oh?" She was a little surprised. She smiled "smarty-pants."

Armin looked over, puzzled. Was that a joke?

She giggled a little, but kept it hushed.

He cracked a smile, unsure of the situation.

"Sorry..." she kept a little smile.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm alright, really."

"I'm a little worried about you, Mikasa..."

Her smile disapated, and she returned to her emotionless state.

"You're always by yourself... Christa said she was worried. She said you sleep in a room by yourself."

She didn't answer.

"I can't help but worry, Mikasa..."

"I'm fine."

He gave up, and took a drink of water.

"Mikasa?"

She looked up, seeing Petra Ral again.

"Sorry to bother you during your breakfast, but Corporal Levi is asking for you."

"Again?" She whispered, if though exhausted.

Petra nodded "could you come right now?"

She took a moment, then nodded, getting up to stand. "Bye, Armin."

"Bye, Mikasa" Armin said in a upset tone.

...

"Hey, Armin. What's up with you?" Ymir placed her face in her palm.

He looked up, then back down. She probably wanted to mess with him like she did with everyone else. "Nothing."

"It's about Mikasa, I'm guessing?"

He looked up, raising a brow.

She grinned "so what's going on? You can talk to  _me_  you know..."

"It's nothing, Ymir..." He insisted, too polite to walk away. He shuffled to the end on his seat, away from her.

She shuffled along closer to him.

"I think she looks really lonely after we came back from Trost..."

He shifted nervously in his seat.

"I think you look kind of lonely too..."

"Ymir..." Christa warned in a light tone.

Ymir played with Christas' blonde hair, calming her down.

"Since you two don't have Jaegar around..."

She hit a cord, Armin froze, gritting his teeth.

"Ymir, don't say things like that!" Christa protested, pulling Ymir's hand away.

"She's all alone in that room by herself, maybe she could use some company. Your the only person she talks to you know..."

Armin reluctantly blushed, refusing to look at her. She carried a highly suggestive tone, and he didn't like it. Not one bit.

He got up, and walked away. He didn't no where to, but he couldn't be around her...

"Ymir, why did you do that? You know what it'd be like if I lost you, and someone said that to me? It wasn't very nice..." she lectured her.

"I'm just trying to get them to deal with their problems a little quicker. You know what's coming tomorrow."

Her head fell down, saddened "I know..."

...

"I've found her, Corporal" Petra smiled, closing the door behind her.

Mikasa stood in a room, like an office but more informal. Clean though...

"Ackerman, meet your squad; Erd Gin, Petra Ral, Auruo Bossard and Gunther Shultz" Levi introduced them.

"This is Mikasa Ackerman?" Auruo questioned, begrudgingly.

Mikasa stood her ground, they all looked older than her, much more experienced and more likely to look down on her. She kept her facade.

"She doesn't look like how she was described. I knew she was a new graduate, but..."

"Auruo, stop it!" Petra warned.

"You know about the mission tomorrow, I assume?" Levi cut in.

Mikasa nodded.

"We have a specific part in the mission, seperate from the main squads. Erd has all the details."

...


	7. Battle of Trost

_"Hey, Eren...?"_

_"I think he's fallen asleep" Armin laughed, covering his mouth with the sleeve of his blue cardigan._

_She looked over to him, smiling awkwardly. "I think we should head home now..."_

_"Yeah, I think I missed dinner, the sun's almost set."_

_They looked up at the wall, the top of the sun peeking over, saying goodnight._

_Mikasa lifted Eren, he was out cold. He was settled on her back like a big adorable lump._

_Armin looked amazed, she was so strong for a girl her size._

_"I can walk you home if you want" she stated calmly._

_He blushed "no, it's fine."_

_"Armin?"_

_"Y-yes?"_

_"I like you" it was as if the words were 'I like apples' or 'I like flowers'. So casual, but with a light-hearted tenderness. "It was nice meeting you."_

_She walked away, carrying Eren on her back._

_Armin smiled, but didn't call after her. His cheeks turned a light shade of red._

Mikasa stroked the neck of her chestnut stallion, lost in thought as the horse nickered to her in comfort. Beside her, Auruo held the reins of his bay stallion, he looked at her occasionally with a hint of distaste. She ignored it, he seemed the type to do that to anymore who came near him.

Before the gates entering Trost, there was a straight formation of horses and carts.

There were three long carts, powered by four heavy horses each. In front of the first cart was Levi with a black mare. In front of the second cart was Petra and Gunther, Petra on a grey stallion, Gunther on a bay stallion. In front of the third cart was Mikasa and Auruo, on their chesnut and bay. And standing behind the third cart was Erd on bay mare.

"You aren't afraid are you?" Auruo snapped.

Mikasa looked up briefly, then looked back at her stallion.

"Silent act, huh?"

She still didn't reply.

"You should answer your superior, little brat..."

Her hand slipped from the stallions' neck calmly and she looked up with a warning glint "I know what's being asked of me, any fear I have is irrelevant."

"What... You..." He couldn't find the words, but finished his sentence along the lines of "smug little..."

"Everybody get ready, we're waiting on the last signal!"

They mounted their steeds, clutching the reins, awaiting the order for the gate to open.

_Earlier that day..._

Our young heroes stood in formation with a large mix of Scouting Legion and Stationary Guard members. Awaiting a speech from Commanders Erwin Smith and Dot Pixis.

"Do you think we can do it, retake Trost?"

"I don't know, man..."

"How many people did we lose when we lost Trost? This mission is suicide..."

"I don't want to die..."

"Maybe we shouldn't go?"

"We have to go, who else is gonna fight? You don't even know what the plan is yet."

Armin listened in on the conversation not far from him. He noticed from their uniforms they were in the Stationary Guard, they chose a life away from the Titans outside, avoided the Scouting Legion. He could understand their reluctance.

"Listen up!" Pixis ordered. "Retaking Trost will be difficult, but we have compromised the most reliable plan with great effort. Three carts will be sent out, picking up boulders and debris from the Trost gate. These carts will be accompanied by the Special Operations Squad, lead by Lance Corporal Levi. They will attempt to block the gateway."

"Six teams of two will go ahead atop the Trost walls on either side. Once each team lines up at the specified locations, they will fire a green flare to indicate they are in place. They will serve as an extra lookout for the carts. A red flare will be signalled if they spot a majority of Titans moving towards the Special Ops formation. A black flare will be fired if an abnormal is spotted heading towards the formation."

"Those is these three teams will be picked out accordingly. Everyone else, your duty is to distract the Titans, so the Special Ops formation can get through the first half of Trost with ease. You will hang over the inside of the walls on the sides, and await a green flare from the formation. Then you will move to Wall Rose and await another green flare. You are not, I repeat, not, to engage any Titans. Is everyone clear on the plan? Good. Now get ready, we begin soon."

"What? I can't, no..."

"Don't worry, we can do this."

Armin sighed, worried. He had contributed to this plan, any blood spilled today is on his hands.

"Armin Arlert?"

He looked up, seeing a woman with short silver hair, wearing glasses. "Th-That's me."

"Your with me, we will be one of the Six teams along the wall. My name is Rico Brzenska."

He saluted, raising his hand to his chest.

"At ease, we have to leave now" she turned to leave, and he followed, looking back at his friends.  _Stay safe..._

...

Armin and Rico were one of the first to find their position, they stood early back at the most rear point of the wall, closest to Wall Rose. They would see the Special Ops formation first. Armin kept his eyes open, scanning the gate warily.

Down below them, their many comrades hung over the edge, enticing multiple Titans that tried to climb up relentlessly for a bite.

"Arlert, are you going to fire the shot, or shall I?" Rico asked impatiently.

He flinched, and reached down for the gun. He packed the green smoke flare into it and pulled its' point into the air, covering his ear. Rico covered her ears too as he pulled the trigger, a green flint of smoke echoed into the sky, signaling their readied position.

Quickly after, the other teams let up their green flares. Ready, ready, ready, ready, ready, ready, ready, ready, ready, ready, ready.

They awaited the final flare.

...

"That's it! The final flare's been lit. Open the gate!" A soldier called.

The gates hitched, slowly being pulled up.

Levi jerked his horse forward, and the mission began.

They entered through into the Trost District, the carts only just made it through the gate. What a relief, if the carts didn't make it past...

The formation sped up, into a canter.

The way was clear, for now.

...

"I see them!" Armin exclaimed, peeping through a small telescope. "Everything seems good so far."

"No change in the Titans either, so far so good..." Rico added, looking down at her fearful comrades.

...

Levi halted his mare, in front of him was a large boulder, blocking the road. He shook his head, it was too big to lift. He moved down another road, down another street. He knew they wouldn't be able to keep a straight path to the first position.

Mikasa and the others kept vigilant, their horses slowed into a decent trot. It was going well, no major problems yet.

She petted the neck of her stallion, it's thick neck soft to the touch, but firm with muscle. What else was there to expect from the specially bred and trained horses of the Scouting Legion?

A bang sounded to the right.

They looked up, a black flare.

Levi shifted onto another street, a faster pace, but not rushed. He kept them heading left, carefully locating each street and alley. They couldn't afford to engage the Titans so early on, if it go to close though...

...

"A black flare..." Rico noted.

"This early on... I hope this works..." Armin bit his lip and looked on, helpless to stop whatever happened down there.

"Stop it, Arlert. Keep an eye on our own objective here" she glared.

He nodded "yes, ma'am."

...

"You think we lost it?" A man from the third cart asked, looking up and around.

"Quiet..." The man driving the cart hushed.

Mikasa looked around, listening carefully. They certainly couldn't have lost it, she could hear its' feet moving, it was searching.

"Abnormal, approaching from the rear" Erd called behind them, and lifted himself from his horse.

The man in the back of the third cart took Erds' horse by the reins, keeping it with the formation while it took to a slow trot.

He swung around it as it tried to swipe at him, its' movements quicker than the average Titan. But his blades found the nape of the neck and struck it down.

He returned to the cart and lifted himself onto his bay mare once more, continuing on with the formation.

Petra loaded her gun, and fired the green flare into the sky. They had reached the first position.

...

"They made it!" Armin shouted with glee, if he had a tail it would be wagging joyfully.

"Move back to Wall Rose, lead the Titans back!" Rico called to the soldiers below.

They moved back hesitantly, forcing themselves to not look down at the demonic grins and gaping mouth rowed with flat, grinding teeth.

One man's hook missed, and he fell. His screams filled the air. The deaths had begun.

Armin pulled himself back, mouth agape. Blood drenched his hands.

...

They reached the half way point between the ruptured gate and Rose.

The formation broke up, Levi took the first cart onward, following the direct root, with Petra following behind.

Gunter lead the second cart to the left, Mikasa following behind them.

And Auruo led the third cart to the right, Erd following.

Mikasa kept her eyes in front of her, listening to the clattering hoofbeats, along with the rattling of the steel cart wheels.

"Suitable debris ahead!" Gunter called back. She looked up, there were several pieces of fractured boulders, the size of their horses, three of them. They came to a halt.

Mikasas' stallion flared its' nostrils and shook its' neck. She pat him in response.

"concentrate, Ackerman. The lookouts may not be able to see 5-8 meter classes behind these buildings."

She nodded and lifted herself from her horse, flying up to a high enough building. Nothing yet down both ends of the street they had gone down.

Down below, two men got out of the cart, leaving the driver with the reins of the four heavy drafts. The men opened up the cart, it extended a meter at both sides to carry larger objects. They were specially designed for this mission.

The men put on their protective gloves and lifted each boulder at either side. Their backs must have ached under such pressure, but the boulders were small, or rather, small enough to carry. The two men were strong, heavily built. That's why they were recruited in such a specific role. Reiner had been recruited too for this task, he was up front in Levi's form.

...

"Ackerman!"

She hurried back down to her horse, resting in the saddle.

The men looked exhausted, rubbing the sweat from their brows, panting. She frowned.

"Let's go" Gunter ordered, leading the form onto the road back towards the ruptured gate.

They found the first formation after a while, Petra's ginger hair and grey mount, identifying them. Their cart looked much fuller than theirs' did.  _Damn,_  Reiner...

They broke apart again, this time Levi's form took the left, while Gunther's took the right.

They stopped, filling their cart again, two rather small boulders this time, the two men could carry one each over their heads, but not with ease.

The carts' load extended above the drivers' head. He pushed the horses on, they struggled into a trot.

A bang sounded behind them.

They looked back.

A red flare.

"Hurry! Get them moving quicker!" The men ordered the driver, and he whipped their flanks. The continued to struggle into a slightly faster trot. It wasn't quick enough.

"Ackerman, prepare to engage." Gunter ordered.

She nodded, glancing back. The red flare was back at Wall Rose, quite far away.

The third form. Auruo and Erd, they were closer to it than them.

They found Levi's form once more, the gate in their sights.

"Switch to maneuver gear" Levi ordered sternly, lifting himself from his mount.

Petra, Gunter and Mikasa did the same, all headed for the gate. They were to guard the ruptured gate with their lives. The two teams on the walls above them fired their green flares, letting the front know they had made it that far successfully.

Around the other side of the wall, soldiers hung over the edge of the outside, attracting Titans away from the gate.

The men released the boulders into the open gateway, the first cart blocked half of it. Again...  _Damn,_  Reiner...

The second cart was ready to dump it's load when a flare flared sounded above them. They glanced into Trost, there was nothing.

"Abnormal on the outside approaching, engage immediately!"

Mikasa charged out through the gap, meeting directly with a viscious looking 10 meter class. It's eyes rolled back and it's jaw fell wide open at an unnatural state. She glared with disgust, readying her blades to put it down. It swiped at her wires, and she fell.

"Ackerman!"

Gunter charged, the Titan setting it's sights on him, readying to swipe him away. He moved too quickly, flying around it and slicing through its' neck. She regained her balance before hitting the ground. "Thanks" she said as she passed him, nothing more and nothing less.

They flew through the gap, just before they sealed up the last of the of the debris from the second cart.

The gate was sealed.

But they needed the last cart for extra support on the boulders. Where were they?

A red flare sounded again on both sides, closer, the halfway point teams.

"Gunther, Ackerman. Go find them, bring the cart here." Levi ordered.

"Yes, sir." Gunter answered, racing back into Trost.

...

Everything was going to hell... Armin looked down in horror, all the Titans below were turning their attention to the formations' direction.

"This isn't good..." Rico almost whispered, gritting her teeth.

Armin frowned, praying for his comrades, for Mikasa to be okay.

This had to work, it just had to...

...

They found the cart, it lost a horse. It looked very, very heavy. It's load was unbelievable. No wonder the horses struggled to walk.

"Gunther, go get more horses. I can handle this." Mikasa said steadily. She couldn't be seen as a failure again, she knew her abilities, she knew she could win.

"Mikasa..." he grunted reluctantly.

She looked at him, and he nodded, turning back.

She then looked around for her two squad members, her eyes resting on the men in the cart.

"What happened, where is-"

"Ackerman, over here!" She looked up to see Auruo, standing on a rooftop a distance away, Erd on another across the street from him. She hauled herself over to them, standing next to Erd.

"Titans are closing in, the plan is failing." Erd stated.

She looked down his eyesight, gazing at the hundred of Titans heading their way.

She extended her blade in front of her, he glanced down for a moment, then back up. "Eager to fight?... Eager to die?"

"I fight to win." She stated, matter-of-factly.

He nodded, satisfied.

...

"Come on..." Armin mumbled, biting hard against his bruised lower lip. Just fire the green flare down there, come on... Let humanity win this once, just this once...

Rico bit her lip as well, frowning. She wanted to be out there fighting as well. A number of soldiers scaling the wall had fallen already, either hitting the cold ground with a splat or into the grinding, filth of a Titans' mouth.

...

Mikasa sliced through the closest Titan, one that walked quicker than the others. It was mindless, not quick enough. An easy kill. They held their ground Gunther returned with the spare horses, four of them, all draft. The men in the cart attached them in with the other horses with some tight rope, and more rope for extra support. They moved forward, a steady walk. And then a laboured trot.

The mission was back in action.

She turned her gaze back, a group of four Titans approached. Erd and Auruo had already set at them, she slashed at a rogue Titan approaching them.

They continued, having to slowly pull back as more and more Titans came at them.

A bang lit up the atmosphere.

...

"The green flare!" Armin called "the mission, we succeeded!" He raised his fist into the air.

Rico's eyes widened, amazed, surprised. "We've... succeeded..."

Armin lifted the flare once more, firing the green flare up.

...

"Commander, the mission was a success!" A woman reported with a gasp in her tone, a mixture of disbelief and astonishment.

Pixis nodded "send in reinforcements! Eliminate the remaining Titans within Trost!"

"Actually, Commander. I have a request..." Commander Erwin Smith suggested. Not far behind him, Hanji Zoe stood with a glint of excitement in her eyes and a glow of anticipation.


	8. On the Move

_"Mikasa?! How long have I been out?"_

_Eren stumbled out of bed when he woke, across the room, Mikasa was looking out the window at the full moon._

_"A few hours" she shrugged._

_"What time is it?" He rubbed his eyes._

_"Late" she stated._

_Eren took a moment, then laughed. "Then why are you awake if it's 'late'?"_

_"I woke up a little while ago."_

_"Another bad dream?" He asked._

_She didn't answer, but looked down at her bedsheets._

_His eyes half closed, he got up and shuffled over to her, sitting beside her. She glanced up at him, and he pulled her into his side._

_Her arms wrapped around her knees, she hesitated, but leaned into him comfortably._

_"It's alright, I'm here." He spoke into her hair._

It had been a few days since the Battle of Trost. The Titans had been killed, and Trost was starting to regain it's residents.

The cleanup after the battle was unpleasant to say the least, they had to find and report the bodies that were found, and then remove them. They lost quite a number of their friends and comrades that day. But the mission had been a success at the end of the day, at a price, mind you.

...

"Hey... Mikasa" Jean sat at the table with Mikasa and Armin, Armin was playing with his soup with his spoon and Mikasa clasped a tankard, not really moving, just staring at her water.

She looked up at the call of her name.

"You alright there?"

"Yes."

Armin turned his gaze to her, he saw through her lie more than everyone else. She was thinking too hard, remembering too much. He knew because he acted the same way sometimes still.

"So..." Jean tried to bring up a conversation to kill the awkward silence. "Heading out to the new HQ tomorrow, you... excited, Mikasa?"

She shrugged, taking a sip of her drink.

"It's actually the former HQ, just not been used in a while." Armin corrected him.

He raised a brow, resting his face in his palm. "So why are we moving out there anyway?"

"We captured a pair of Titans for experimentation. Nobody's too happy about the idea of keeping them here, just in case something goes wrong."

He looked at Armin with a rough smile "nothing different there. Same shit, different day. Right?"

The two sighed, sinking their heads down.

"Wow, keep it down you guys, I can barely hear myself think..." Ymir pranced over, planting one hand on the table, the other on her hip.

 _Not her again..._  They all thought.

"What's the matter with you guys?" She almost spat in a smug tone.

They didn't answer, all apathetic in appearance.

"What? I spill something on my clothes or something?" She pulled at her shirt.

"Ymir...?" Christa called behind her.

"What's up, cutie?"

She blushed, looking away "nothing, I just wondered if you needed anything."

Ymir grinned, lifting her brows suggestively...

"See you downers later, it's getting late."

She walked away.

"I'm sorry if she said anything to upset you..." Christa apologized, before chasing after Ymir out of the hall.

"Strange pair..." Jean noted. Armin nodded in agreement.

Mikasa looked away to another table across the room, feeling someone watching her. She spotted him... His suspicious gold eyes didn't falter when she met them. She unconsciously flinched, it was barely visible.

"Mikasa? Something wrong?" Armin asked, trying to look down her line of sight.

She turned back to Armin before he saw him looking. "No, it's fine. Thought I heard my name, that's all..." She lied in an apathetic tone, taking another drink from her tankard.

...

The next morning, they mounted their horses, readying to move to the new - or rather, old - headquarters.

Mikasa kept her chestnut stallion from the Battle of Trost, holding onto a spare bay mare.

Everyone was mounted, with an extra horse. They were having a large scale move. Half of the Scouting Legion and their horses were being transferred to the new HQ.

Armin mounted a black stallion, he walked up beside Mikasa, offering a smile, she returned it with her own half smile.

"This is Alejandro" he looked down to his horse.

"I think mine is called DuBois" she pet his thick ginger neck.

"He looks nice" Armin, gripping onto his spare horses' reins.

She nodded "he's decent, not too good with other stallions though... He tried to bite the one I carried spare, had to swap it for a mare."

Armin smiled, she was talking. "These two haven't had any trouble."

She looked over to them, she liked the horses, gave her a sense of security that no person could give, well... Except...

"Mikasa?"

"Yes?"

"Nothing, you just... you had a sad look on your face."

"I was just thinking."

"I think too much too..." He admitted, trying to get her to open up.

It didn't work, she tugged on her green cloak, pulling it tighter around her.

...

They marched along with their comrades and their mounts, at a steady walk. Armin stuck close to Mikasa, but they didn't speak.

"Mikasa, Armin!" Connie called from behind, moving his bay stallion at a trot to keep up. Sasha followed him, sat upon a palomino mare. They slowed when they reached them.

"Hey, Connie, Sasha" Armin greeted.

"Don't get too close!" Mikasa warned, too late. DuBois bit into the bay stallions' neck, setting it into a rear, and Connie fell off.

"I tried to warn you..." She mumbled to herself, halting her stallion.

Sasha offered her hand, lifting him up. He scratched his head, covered in dust and dirt and a faint blush in his cheeks. "Take my spare, let's go get your horses back" she said, and they raced off after the horses.

...

"Hey look, HQ. Wow, it's so big..." Someone spoke ahead of them.

Mikasa couldn't pay attention, she could feel him staring at her again, she didn't look back. She knew he was right behind her.


	9. Break

_"You should smile more often, Mikasa."_

_"You should do your own chores more often, Eren." She smiled, carrying a large pile of sticks on her back._

_He huffed, blushing._

"Penny for your thoughts, Mikasa?" Petra asked, sweeping the floor with her broom.

"Just remembering something silly, it's nothing" she assured her, pulling at the white bandana on her head.

"It's just... I don't think I've seen you smile before."

Mikasa looked at her, lips parted slightly. She continued back to wiping the cobwebs from the window frames.

"You suit a smile."

Mikasa looked back, taken by surprise from Petra's choice of words. "Thank you..."

...

"You're Armin Arlert, right?" Hanji looked down at him

"Yes, ma'am." Armin replied quickly.

"I've heard a bit about you, your a new recruit that helped Erwin and Commander Pixis with strategizing the battle of Trost. Not too shabby."

"Thank you, ma'am."

"You don't have to call me 'ma'am', just call me Hanji."

"O-okay... Hanji." Armin scratched his blonde hair. "If you don't mind me asking, what did you want with me?"

"To be honest... I thought you might be able to help me out with something. You see, I'm in charge of the experiments on Sawney and Bean. And I was wondering if another intelligent mind was willing to help me out with it."

"Sawney and Bean? You mean the two Titans we caught in Trost?"

"Yes." She nodded.

He looked at her with puzzled blue orbs.

"What?"

"Nothing, Hanji. I just find it unusual that they would have names..."

"I named them."

He raised a brow, more puzzled.

"Don't judge them so quickly, they're more approachable than a number people I've met."

"The... Titans?"

She sighed, looking down. "Why am I not surprised you would react this way..."

"I'm sorry if I offended you, Hanji..."

"You didn't, don't worry about it. Maybe you would like to meet them, might change your mind about them" her mouth opened, showing a toothy grin.

He pulled back hesitantly "I... don't know."

"I'm sure it would be beneficial for you to learn about them first hand. And I'm sure they'd like to meet someone else, I think they get lonely with so many hateful and fearful stares..."

It was at that moment that Armin then decided, she was  _absolutely_  insane. "Alright..."

"Hurray!" She raised her arms cheerfully. "Sawney and Bean will be so happy!"

Yep, so very insane.

...

He was watching her again, Mikasa was becoming sick of it as she ate her stew. She considered confronting him about it now, but something about that stare felt dangerous. She wasn't afraid to confront him, just...

"Mikasa?" Sasha submissed her head to her "are you gonna eat that?"

"Yes." Mikasa took another spoonful, her eyes closed. She wasn't in a good mood tonight. He was putting her off balance, still watching her.

Sasha's hopeful cautioun faded into a gloomy, immature frown.

"Here, Sasha" Christa halfed her bread, and offered it to her with a warm smile.

"Thank you, goddess!" She spoke through a mouthful of the bread.

Mikasa looked around, distracting herself until she finished her meal. Then she would confront him, she wouldn't let him interupt her meal any longer.

She couldn't see Armin, little to her knowledge he was having dinner with Hanji. She sat beside Sasha, Connie, Jean, Christa and Ymir. She'd not felt this alone in a long time. She missed Armin and his silly babbles of awkward, desperate chatter. She sighed.

Finishing her stew, she got up and took her bowl to the kitchen, then returned to the hall. She approached him.

"Reiner, I need to talk to you."

He looked up with gold eyes, as though he expected this.

"Privately."

He looked slightly discouraged, looking to Bertholdt sitting next to him. Reiner nodded.

...

They walked down an empty, half-lit hallway, side by side. She frowned, what was wrong with her? She wasn't herself tonight.

"So what's this about?" He asked her, deep and uncaring.

She glanced at him with a small hint of sharp rage in her eyes. "You know what this is about..."

He didn't answer, but walked quietly.

"I would like you to stop it."

"Stop what, Ackerman?"

"Stop watching me!" She spat through her teeth, stopping in her tracks to face him.

He pulled back, expecting her to lash at him. He didn't flinch or show fear. He towered over her, in both height and strength. "You're changing, don't pretend your alright. It's starting to bother me, that's all."

She curled her fists at her sides. "I'm fine."

"Yeah, and I'm the king."

She made to punch him, but he caught her fist with little effort. She relented, trying to pull away and swing the other fist at him. He twisted her arm, pulling her around so her back was bent to him.

"Let me go." She warned.

"I understand what it's like to lose someone close, someone that was like a brother to you. I watched a 'brother' die, impaled by a row of teeth to save us."

She looked back, trying to pull away. "You have no idea how I feel" she let out a deep amount of air as she said each word.

"I can guess."

"Let me go, and leave me alone..." Her voice remained dangerous, trembling.

"Everybody worries about you, I'm getting sick of you acting like this to be honest. Attempting to not care, as though Erens' death doesn't bother you."

She froze.

He released his grip, she fell to her knees. "Forget it, Ackerman. I won't bother you again."

He walked away, and she remained there on the ground, frozen in place.

...

Armin walked down the hallway, trying to find his room. This place was backwards, try to find one place and you end up somewhere else. He missed lunch with his friends, Hanji was trying to converse with him about her 'friends'. He still thought she was crazy.

"Mikasa, is that you?" He looked down the hallway, seeing Mikasa sitting against the dimly lit wall.

He walked over, cautious. He heard sniffling, was she hurt? Was she crying? "Mikasa? What's wrong?"

He leaned down in front of her, trying to see her face. She lowered it down into her scarf and the sobbing sounded louder, as she tried to force them back into her throat.

"Mikasa?" He reached out to her, but she slapped his hand away.

"L-leave m-me..."

He pulled back, her voice sounded so weak, so... unnatural.

Her entire body was shaking, curled into a ball against the wall. She looked weak, defensive. Like the world was out to get her. He understood; it was about Eren. She never cared about much other than him, never showed emotion except concerning him.

He shuffled, sitting beside her, mimicking her fetal position against the wall.

She leaned away from him.

He didn't speak, didn't move. He didn't know what to do, but just be there for her when she wanted to open up. She had finally cracked, the loneliness was finally getting to her. He looked down, saddened. He would stay with her.

"Please... Just go away" she let out in a low, quiet breath.

He glanced at her, cradling his legs. He really didn't know what to say to her, no matter how many books he'd read. Nothing ever prepared people for these kinds of things, loss and despair were trivial in those realms of fantasy.

"You should go back to your room, Mikasa..." He didn't mean for those certain words to escape, they sounded almost heartless.

" _No..."_

"Come on, I'll take you back..."

_"N-no..."_

"Mikasa, I can't leave you here. I'm sorry, but I'll carry you on my back if I have to. You can't stay here, especially not by yourself."

She didn't answer, closing her mouth before she let out a whimper.

"Come on..." He stood, and tugged at her sleeve. She pulled back. Screw it, he couldn't leave her here. He tried to pull her up, she was taller and heavier than him. She was reluctant too, and he was a weak little shrimp. "Mikasa, please..."

After a minute, she slowly stood, avoided any face to face contact. He accepted this, contempt with her standing for him. He guided her down the hallway, slow and silent. This was his fault... She was breaking, all because he wasn't strong enough that day...

...

"Which room is yours?" He asked gently, quietly. It was quite late, everyone must have been asleep by now.

He finally found the dorms in the castle, it had taken a long while. A long, painful walk. Maybe it was good for her, she needed to think, get some air.

"It's this one..." She pointed to her right with little effort or enthusiasm.

He nodded, waiting for her to enter her room.

"A-Armin..." She whispered, she held the doorknob, unmoving.

"Yes, Mikasa?"

She seemed to lower a bit, unsure of herself "could... could you stay for a little while?"

He paused, considering the moment, the situation. "I... Um... Alright..."

She opened the door in silence, both of them entered the cold, empty room. She walked over to her bed, while Armin closed the door behind him.

 _"Thank you... Armin..."_ She sat on her bed, back against the wall.

He looked at her, full of concern. "Mikasa..."

"He's gone" her voice quaked, picking up into sobs again.

He stayed at the door, looking down with shame. "I'm sorry, Mikasa..."

She looked up, eyes seeping.

He looked away, turning his head to the door.

"Please don't go..."

"I shouldn't be here, Mikasa" he looked over to her, she bit her lip, her face pleaded but she didn't speak. He lowered his head, an almost nod. He walked over. He really shouldn't be here.

She shuffled up, indicating for him to sit with her. He sat, but at the edge of the bed.

They sat in silence. Neither dared to speak, or knew what to say. It was a strange comfort, simply being there.

Misery loved company.


	10. Morning

"I'm sick of her, she was barely any use in Trost... She's a little stubborn brat" Auruo huffed, drinking coffee from his tankard in a hulled movement.

"She wasn't that bad, a little raw, but I'd say she has some potential" Gunther added.

"Ignoring and spitting at her superiors? Great potential" Auruo rolled his eyes.

"Superiors?" Gunter almost choked as he laughed. "You mean she gave you the cold shoulder because you were showing off or something?

"You were worse when you first joined the Scouting Legion, Auruo..." Erd smirked.

Auruo huffed "isn't  _it_  supposed to be here? Petra, weren't you supposed to get her this morning?"

Petra froze, almost choking on her tea. "I uh..."

"You've been awfully quiet this morning now that I think about it. Did you slack off or something?" Auruo teased.

She blushed, and shook her head. "I went to go wake her up this morning... I just thought she could use a lie in today."

"Bullshit, what actually happened?" Gunther cut in, craning his arm on the table.

She held her breath "I  _did_  go to get this morning... But-" she avoided their gazes, feeling guilty for what she was going to say. "She was sleeping with someone..."

They had puzzled looks, before realisation hit them in the face.

"She... that girl was... With some guy?"

A drop of sweat ran down her brow "yes..."

"What exactly did you see?"

A chair scraped, and they all turned.

"Corporal? Where are you going?" Petra asked with a hint of concern within her sweetened voice.

He left the table, and headed straight for the door. "I have to sort something out, I'll be back as soon as possible."

...

Mikasa let out a blissful breath, lacing her fingers around a warm material. She didn't open her eyes, it was peaceful. Below her ear, she could feel a heart beating, a chest moving soundly up and down. She nuzzled the chest, the wrinkled shirt. It was so warm and comforting in the cold, empty room.

"Morning..." she mumbled into the shirt.

The heartbeat below her hitched, and she could feel a sharp intake of breath beneath her. Her hazy grey eyes fluttered open, and she looked up. "A-Armin?"

He looked at her in disbelief, as though he had seen a ghost. "G-good morning, Mikasa..."

She frowned, confused.

He searched her, then himself and rolled his head back onto the bed. They were still on top of the fur covers, she must have curled herself onto him sometime during the night for warmth. He stared at the ceiling, remembering the night before. He was glad to see things hadn't gotten out of hand, but his heart was racing still.

Mikasa lazily lifted herself up, leaning on her arms on the bed. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes with her blazer, then looked down at him with soft eyes. He caught a glimpse of them, but looked away, face flushed.

It hit her, he'd slept on her bed all night with her lying on top of him. Poor Armin must have panicked when he woke up to see her head on his chest. She turned away, resting on her knees. She blushed.

"Umm... Mikasa?"

"Hm?" she hummed in a low, but still sweet tone.

"Are you alright?"

She turned her head, an innocent look of wonder graced her features "yes, Armin."

He nodded "I'm glad..."

She searched around him in thought, before leaning down closer. He met her gaze, shyly "Mikasa..."

She pecked his cheek, a quick but sweet gesture. "Thank you" she smiled, a light blush lifting her cheeks.

His face turned several shades deeper and he looked away.

The door banged open. "Ackerman..." A low growl emitted from the man standing in the doorway. His thin eyelids startled them.

"Corporal Levi?" She asked in doubt.

"You're late for a meeting with my squad."

She lifted herself up off the bed "I didn't realise, Corporal."

He hummed bitterly. "Forget it, go wash the filth off yourself."

She frowned, but nodded and left the room.

"You, what was your name?" Levi bared down his sights, shooting a glare directly at Armin.

Armin got up, too alarmed to salute "I-I'm Armin Arlert, sir!"

"Do not let this happen again, this is your first and last warning. If she is late once more, you'll both be out of here. I haven't got time for recruits acting up."

"Yes, sir!" Armin nodded.

Levi left the room, satisfied.

...

"So that's where he was... I never would have guessed!" Hanji laughed slyly. "Wait until I get him..."

"Go easy on him, Hanji" Petra pleaded. "I think the Corporal went to get her... He will have already got him..."

...

"Ackerman!" Levi ordered from outside her shower stall.

"Corporal!" Mikasa jumped out of her thoughts, turning her back to him and covering herself swiftly.

"Relax, I'm not here as a peeping tom. It's about this morning, I need to talk to you."

The hall was clean beyond belief, showers lining with no doors, but separated by thick walls. Nobody was there but the two. Levi had his back turned to her, an annoyed look on his face.

She looked back, bewilderment covered her features "can't it wait!"

"No."

She growled "then get out so I can at least cover myself!"

"No, I'm not wasting anymore time. About you and this Arlert, what exactly is your relationship?" His words were unnaturally calm in this situation.

Her heart raced, she frowned, starting to get more and more annoyed.

"Ackerman."

"He's an old friend." She spat.

"Oh? Just a friend? Didn't look like that to me."

"He's just a friend."

"Why were you both in the same bed, then?"

She didn't respond, gritting her teeth.

"Would you like me to elaborate what I think happened last night?"

"I wasn't feeling good, he took me back to my room. I asked him to stay for a while, we must have fallen asleep."

"I don't believe you, Ackerman."

"It's the truth."

"Alright, then I have your word? I'm not losing a new recruit in my squad to some illness, be careful in future, I don't want you caught in such a situation again."

His footsteps became more and more distant. "And, Ackerman, you missed a spot on your back."

The door sounded shut.

She cursed him to the pits of a Titans' belly.

...

"Armin! Hey you dirty little-" He forced him palm to Hanji's mouth before she could finish. They were in the main hall where a number of people were still eating breakfast.

"Hanji, please..." He begged, hoping she would see his suffering.

She looked around, several of his friends and random Legion members had turned to see the commotion as Armin had entered the hall.

She nodded blankly and he released his hand.

"You dirty little scamp... I heard what you got up to last night!"

He slammed his hand on her mouth again as her voice began to reach a high pitch again. "Let's go see Sawney and Bean, Hanji! I can't wait to meet them!"

She nodded, rolling her eyes as she lead the way out of the hall.

When they were alone, he released his hand once again, hesitantly.

"When did you get so brave?" She smirked.

He looked down, ashamed.

"So... How long's this been going on for, little scamp?" Her grin was wide.

"It's not like that, Hanji. Nothing happened last night..."

"Oh? That's not what Petra was saying, she said she walked in on you and Mikasa..."

"She was upset last night and I took her back to her room. That's all..."

"That's boring... Can't I just say you and her did it? Much more interesting."

"Hanji! I swear, nothing happened like that! It's not my place to say what she was upset about..."

"Her brother?"

He froze "h-how did you-?"

"It's my job to be observant and pay attention to detail, my dear little scamp" she smiled.

They walked along, reaching an open courtyard where two Titans were chained and tied up. Armin frowned, intimidated.

"You sure nothing happened?" She looked down, curious but also slightly concerned.

"Nothing like that..." He assured her, staring at the Titans.


	11. Shenanigans

"Corporal?"

Mikasa exited the showers, to be faced with Levi who leaned against a wall with his arms folded. He didn't look amused, to say the least. But he didn't seem mr. happy joyjoy most of the time anyway. He just surprised her, waiting like that.

"Took you long enough, let's go" he turned to leave.

She nodded, and followed his lead, keeping the slightest distance behind him. He was quiet as they walked through the many halls of the massive building, too quiet.

"What's with that look on your face?" He bluntly asked.

She looked away "what look?"

He raised an uncaring brow "you know what look."

She didn't reply, only shrugged him off.

He looked back ahead of him, seeing several soldiers running around. What were they so vigorous about? Idiots.

Mikasa looked up at him again, trying to work him out. He wasn't a talkative person, for sure. Neither was she, so it didn't matter. He was kind of an ass, and he probably thought the same of her. So why was he waiting for her...?

"Your doing it again."

She silently growled.

...

"Poor Mikasa..." Petra pouted, looking down at her boots with guilt.

"She's the one that got herself into that situation in the first place. So stop pitying her, Petra." Gunter rested his chin on his fist. "She shouldn't be acting so immature."

"She seemed a little young to be doing things like that..." Erd reasoned.

"Don't be an idiot, Petra saw them!" Auruo snapped.

They glanced over to Petra who scratched her strawberry hair and avoided all eye contact with them.

"Petra..." They all stared with the intensity of court judges.

"Hm?" She looked back at them, biting her bottom lip nervously.

"What exactly did you see...?" Erd questioned on behalf of all three men.

She coughed into her fist, cheeks a light pink shade "not what you gutter minded idiots are imagining" she refered to the looks on their faces earlier as they pictured the situation she walked in on. "It just looked..." she looked down, thinking of the right word, then back up at them "intimate..."

They raised their brows, looking up thoughtfully, picturing the scene again.

"Stop doing that!" She hissed in defense of the absent Mikasa.

They all jumped back from her apologetically.

"Let me make this clear. They were fully clothed and on top of the covers." She folded her arms.

"That's it? All this fuss for that?" Auruo huffed.

"What a waste of time and thought..." Gunther sighed, finishing his tankard off.

"It looked like something though..." She tried.

"Petra, you're an idiot." They all stated, unamused.

"You guys are jerks... I know what I saw, it wasn't nothing!"

They turned their heads from her direction, ignoring her nonsense.

She growled like a puppy, folding her arms like a child denied a treat.

"Well... There is one way to find out for sure..." Auruo started. "Don't we have someone with a knack for sniffing out secrets?"

As if on cue, their heads lifted, like lightbulbs lit above their heads.

...

"Sawney, Bean, meet Armin. Armin meet Sawney and Bean" Hanji introduced with a large smile, standing mere metres from the two 'small' Titans.

"Umm" Armin didn't know what to say, he waved his fingers cautiously.

Hanji got closer to them, touching their hands gently "Morning Sawney, morning Bean."

"Hanji... Aren't you a little close?" He asked in a low, worried tone.

"I'm not afraid of them" she stood a metre in front of Bean. "Do you know why I named them Sawney and Bean?"

Armin thought for a moment, then answered "wasn't Sawney Bean the leader of a clan of cannibals long ago? I think I read the story when I was younger."

Hanji looked surprised "very good, my little scamp!"

He laughed lightly.

"Well, as you know, I've been conducting experiments on Sawney and Bean here. I've tried communication... But they don't seem very talkative..."

Armin raised a brow, but kept his thoughts to himself.

"Would you like to try?"

"Me?" He pointed at himself, dumbstruck.

"No, that guy over there!" She joked, the man she pointed to hid behind the crowd. "I'd watch though, they get kind of... snappy if you invade their personal space."

He nodded with much hesitance, stepping closer as Hanji indicated her hand by her side.

"Go on, say whatever." She put her hand on his shoulder, encouraging him with her every being.

"Umm... Hello, Sawney, Bean..."

"Oh man..." Someone in the crowd groaned. "Looks like Hanji found a young prodigy... Fantastic..."

...

"Mikey, come on boy! Where are you..." Petra joked, peeping around the corner along with her three not so good at hiding friends.

They looked down at her, brows raised. She looked away, losing the amused look on her face. She sighed, couldn't they take a joke?

"Where would he be at this time? It's still early..." She hummed in thought, stroking her chin.

"Training?" Erd suggested.

"Nah, he doesn't need training..." She pointed out.

"The stables?" He added.

"Are you kidding? That place stinks! It'd kill him..." She whined.

"This is such a waste of time... Shouldn't we have started training or you know... Something useful of our time?" Gunther folded his arms in protest.

"If you don't want to come along, then leave." Erd put bluntly.

"Oh come on, Erd?! I thought at least you would see reason" Gunther waved his hands as he spoke to emphasise his point.

He looked away from them, a half smile on his face "to be honest, I haven't had this kind of fun since I was a recruit."

Petra giggled "me neither."

Auruo rolled his eyes, the hint of a smile on his lips.

"Fine..." he groaned.

"Hey, what about Erwin's office?" Petra suggested with cheerful hope.

"Good enough, let's go!" Erd started to move, the other three following his lead in order of Petra, Auruo and then Gunther.

...

Levi opened the door to his squad's private meeting room. He paused, it was empty. They must have gone to their duties or other important matters. His eyes then caught sight of a piece of paper left on the table in the middle of the room. He walked in, lifting the paper and proceeded to plant himself on the green cushioned couch at the far side of the room.

The note read ' _Dear Corporal, we left to go do something important. We'll be back as soon as possible. - love Ral, Bossard, Gin and'_ the name ' _Shultz'_ was scribbled out, but still readable.

Levi let out a sigh and stroked his forehead. Then he noticed her "Ackerman, are you just going to stand in the doorway? Come in or go find something useful to do."

There was a silent pause, and then the footsteps sounded and the door closed behind her. Mikasa walked over to the nearest seat at the table in the middle of the room and sat herself contently.

"So Ackerman, am I not that dislikable?"

She lifted her brow "I'm sitting over here, aren't I?"

"Your still here aren't you?"

She looked away to the window, the sun was shining brightly.

"I believe you."

She glanced back at him, questioningly. "Is this your way of bonding with people?"

"It'd be nice to keep up with my squad members, especially when certain events may or may not have taken place under the cover of darkness."

She looked back at the window, considering his words, holding back the urge to hit him.

The side of his mouth curved up for a moment then returned to it's natural state. "You're an immature, conceited, miserable and desolate little brat."

She returned a listless smile "likewise."

The door knocked, then opened. "We're back!" Petra's anticipating voice rang.

The squad entered the room in order of Petra, Gunther, Auruo then Erd. Another person entered. The blonde haired man known as Mike Zakarius.

Mikasa raised a brow, not knowing who this new person was.

Levi knew exactly who he was and why they had brought him here.

"No." He hummed without emotion, not in protest, but in apathetic bewilderment. He looked to Mikasa, who had no idea what was coming...


	12. Extra Confusion

Mikasa pulled her head back as Mike drew closer, she grit her teeth. Personal space was never really a virtue here, was it? He took a few sniffs and stood straight again. He smiled.

Petra, Auruo, Erd and Gunther stood not so far behind Mike, waiting for his verdict impatiently.

He turned his head to them, a brow raised, the smile still there. "You guys really are idiots..."

"Aww... come on..." Petra's body went limp, her head fell low.

"And you owe me one, Petra" Auruo grinned, his own body stood tall and proud.

Gunther rolled his eyes and went to sit down opposite Mikasa "sorry, Corporal. I did object to this..."

Levi raised a brow, his squad sure was... something. What that something was... It could give the average soldier goosebumps.

"Thank you, Mike. Much appreciated, and sorry to inconvenience you like this" Erd scratched at the back of his head, tugging at his tied up hair. He offered trucing smile.

"It was no problem, I wanted to meet young Miss Ackerman anyway. But, I should really be off now" Mike nodded to them and left.

"I was so sure..." Petra hid behind Auruo and Erd, from the shame of facing Mikasa. But the two walked over to the table, abandoning her near the door.

There was a stagnant pause, the room stood silent as though no one was there.

 _"Something important?"_ Levi quoted from the letter he held up to show them. His voice sounded more cocky than angry. "Petra, I assume this was all your idea?"

"We  _all_  misjudged the situation and got carried away" Erd spoke up to protect a nervous looking Petra Ral.

"I'm sorry, Corporal." Petra looked down, shuffling her feet against the wooden floorboards.

He looked at her for a few more moments than usual, it almost a noticable amount of time. "You should sit down, Petra, now this meeting can finally take place."

She nodded, and walked over to the table with her squad.

"Mikasa, I'm sorry. I walked in on you this morning and got the wrong idea."

Mikasa lifted her head, starting to understand. "What... Just happened?"

"It's my fault, Mikasa. We were discussing you this morning, and I told everyone about you and... your friend."

"Armin..." She corrected her, slightly flushed, but hiding her embarrassment well with a confused look across her face. "And it's fine, but I'd like for it to be forgotten."

"What to be forgotten?" Petra smiled.

Mikasa gave her own smile, it was a small smile, but regardless, it was there.

They looked surprised, never seeing her smile before, except Petra of course.

"Now that that's sorted... Let's be off" Erd lifted himself from the table, the others followed.

"Bye, Mikasa" Petra waved goodbye.

Mikasa sat there, more confused.

"Don't you have training, Ackerman?" Levi woke her out of her daze.

"Didn't we have a meeting, sir?" She looked at him, frowning.

"Think of it as a morning get-together. We do this every morning, keeps the squads' moral up. Although, you interrupted todays social gathering with your little incident."

"I asked that it be forgotten." She stood from her warm seat.

"I'm not so forgetful, sorry, Ackerman."

She left the room before she went over to smack him for his troubles.

"Damn teenagers..." He groaned.

...

"Sasha, here" Connie offered her his loaf, which she accepted without a second thought.

"Thankuu" she spoke through a mouthful of bread. She swallowed "want some of the meat I found in the kitchen?"

"You really should stop doing that, Sasha..." He slapped his hand against his forehead.

She offered the meat to him again silently, eyes focused.

"Alright.. alright" he grinned, tucking in.

On another table, Jean watched Connie and Sasha with his face in his palm as usual. Armin sat next to him, reading a book intently.

"Evening, Armin, Jean." Mikasa approached, sitting down at the opposite end of the table from them.

Jean looked over to her, then a smile curved it's way up. "Evening. Where were you?"

"I had to stay late at the training circuit, I missed an hour or two this morning with a meeting." She kept his gaze.

Armin looked up from his book, tilting his head to the side. Before his mind could take him back to the morning previous, he buried his head back into the book.

"Sucks..." Jean nodded slowly.

"I don't mind, really" she glanced down in a humble manner.

"Where's your dinner?" He looked down at the empty space where her plate should be.

"There wasn't anything left. It doesn't matter."

His eyes widened, he glanced down at his remaining meal, a measly few crumbs. He looked up with sympathetic eyes.

"Here, Mikasa. I'm not hungry anyway" Armin pushed over his plate, half of a small loaf of bread and some chicken left. He barely looked up from his book, mainly so she wouldn't be able to refuse his offering.

"Thank you, Armin" she said, then took a small bite from the bread.

Jean glanced over to Armin, who continued on to study the line of the book. "Here, Mikasa. You thirsty?" He offered.

She frowned, clutching a quarter left of the bread. "Umm" she tried to protest.

"I insist." He grinned "It's not poisoned or anything." He took a sip to show her, then wiped where his mouth touched it with his sleeve.

"Why are you both being so nice?" She waited, then took a sip from his tankard.

"Why not?" He leaned a little closer, possibly just a few inches, but she noticed it.

She looked away and around the room. Something was going on in the hall... She couldn't put her finger on it, and to be honest, she didn't really want to.

She looked back at Jean, who quickly looked away from her puzzled but kindly gaze. Her eyes then turned to Armin, she took another bite, watching him steadily.

He glanced up a moment, then looked back down, turning a page.

Something was definitely up, or down, or sideways.

Something just wasn't right.


	13. Rain

A few days had passed.

Mikasa couldn't sleep.

The rain battered hard against the glass of her window. It was a miserable night.

She sat up in the middle of her bed with the covers flung around her. Her face peaked out of the sheets she hid under, her eyes gazed out the window and through the darkness.

"Eren..." She whispered, a lump built up in her throat and her eyes widened. She could see his face, all those years ago, when he was sleeping on the grass under that stupid old tree. He was so peaceful, so full of life. The picture changed, pouring blood through her memories like the rain outside. Her heart ached, she didn't want to see that, not ever. How he must have died.

She stood, releasing the covers back onto the bed. She grasped the folds of her shirt, her heart threatening to burst out of her chest.

"Eren, I'm so sorry... I should have been there for you..." she cried, her voice trembled deep within her throat.

She clasped her head and shook it. She couldn't stay in her room any longer, the silence was killing her.

...

Reiner trudged through the muck, Bertholdt by his side as he always was. Covered by their Legion hooded cloaks, they marched onward toward the main building of HQ.

"She's going to get us killed one of these days..." Reiner let out a deep growl.

Bertholdt hummed in recognition, trying not to oppose his old friend.

"That should have been her job..." he added, staring at his hand.

He nodded, glancing over to Reiner, who didn't look his best, considering his features were hidden under his green hood. He caught a glimpse of something beyond Reiner, someone else a short distance away. "Reiner" he nudged his head in the persons' direction, concern washing his features.

Reiner looked over, gritting his teeth "shit..."

The body shook at the sound of a laboured cough. They noticed the person wasn't standing, but on the ground, sitting or kneeling.

"What the hell?..." Reiner tried to look closer, then saw that it was a she. And she didn't have a cloak on like they did, and she looked soaked and freezing. With nothing more than her uniform and a silly scarf on.

"Isn't that..." Bertholdt started quietly.

"Dammit... We should go."

Her body fell to the ground, the water below her splashed up around her.

They froze, staring at her at the rain hit against her.

Reiner sped over to her, leaning down to inspect the damage. "Ackerman? Are you alright?"

Mikasas' body was limp, her lips were parted, barely taking in weak breaths. Her eyes were open, dull and bloodshot, looking up blindly.

"We should take her to the infirmary" Reiner stated, pulling Mikasa up onto his back. "Make sure she doesn't see you if she snaps out of it."

Bertholdt nodded, and followed him back to the main building.

...

Armin sat at the table with Jean again, opposite him, still studying the book he had received from Hanji.

"Oi, Armin, where's Mikasa? She's not been to breakfast these past few days..." Jean moaned.

"She has breakfast with her squad everyday" he took a drink of water, looking out the windows. The rain still relented.

"Oh." Jean sighed "isn't she part of that small guys squad?"

Armin glanced up at him from the book "Corporal Levi, he's humanities strongest soldier."

Jean took a large gulp of his drink, looking away. "So uh... Any new plans we should know about?"

"I don't think I've heard of anything... Everything's focused on Hanjis' experiments on Sawney and Bean."

"Sawney and Bean?" He started to snigger.

"I know..." Armin scratched the back of his head, trying to hold back a desperate smile "Hanji is a little eccentric but I don't doubt her methods, she's ideal for the task, more than anyone else I know of."

"Uhuh..."

Mikasa sat the the table next to Armin without a single word, causing Armin to jump in surprise. "Mikasa!"

She glanced at him and sniffed heavily, wiping her nose. Her breathing sounded heavy too.

"Mikasa, what happened, are you alright?" Jean stretched over the table.

"I'm" she coughed, covering her mouth "alright..."

"You look terrible" Jean hit his head "that didn't come out right..."

"Mikasa..." Armin tugged on the arm of her jacket "were you outside?"

She rested her hand on his shoulder in assurance "it's nothing."

He shook his head in protest, and her hand squeezed his shoulder "I'll tell you later, okay?... I just want to get on with the day."

He nodded, but hated the thought of her going through whatever it was all day without help. Wait, later as in the evening? She couldn't mean at dinner, she made it clear she wanted to talk later in private... Did she want him to go to her room again? He frowned at the thought, knowing they were likely to get in trouble again.

A low rumble escaped from deep within Jeans' throat, he likely having similar thoughts to poor Armin.

Mikasa brung her hand back to her lap and Armin hid his head back in his book.

...

Armin knocked at the door to Hanjis' office, opening the door he announced himself "umm hello? It's Armin."

"Come on in, little scamp!" He heard an erratic voice call to him.

He walked in, seeing Hanji sitting at her desk with a large clouded bottle in her hands, half empty.

"H-Hanji?" He pulled his hands up, hesitant to the situation "what are you drinking?"

"Don't be soooo naïve, scamp! This is my pain killer!" She hit the bottom of the bottle against the desk.

"Alcohol?!"

"Do you want some?..." She sunk down, the side of her face was flat against the desk and the bottle was stretched out in offering to him.

"No! Why are you drunk?!

She took a large gulp, despite the bitterness in her expression, she swallowed it down.

Armin rushed over to her side, placing the book she gave him on the table. He tried to take the bottle from her, but she shoved him away.

"Don't deny me my painkiller!"

"Painkiller? Are you hurt?"

She pulled up her glasses, her eyes red and tearing "it's Sawney and Bean, someone killed them!"

"Wh-what?!"

"I went to see them this morning, and they were nothing but skeletons!" She cried, before taking another drink.

He looked down, away from her. Someone killed the test subjects? Who would do that? Someone who must have hated the Titans very much.

"They were nice, you know? Sweet in fact... They had such lovely eyes..."

"Hanji... Sorry..."

"Don't you worry now, little scamp. They must be in a better place now... They avoided the next experiment... I had to test if they had any other weak points that the nape of the neck... At least they don't have to suffer that..."

He looked down again, feeling her pain a little.  _She really loved those Titans, didn't she?_

"What were you here for, scampy?" She adjusted her glasses, and wiped her nose.

"I uh... I was returning Ilse Langners' notebook."

"OH!" She bolted up  _"so?"_

"It's disturbing... There's a name I fou-"

Hanji got closer and closer, finally falling onto him.

"Ha- Hanji..." Armin coughed out on the floor, pushing her off of him.

She was out cold, snoring with the bottle still in her hand.

"Hanji..." He sighed, hitting his palm against his forehead. "Please wake up..." he nudged her arm, and she batted it away in a childish groan. He frowned, and got up. He took off his jacket and folded it under her head, while at the same time he snatched the bottle away from her.

He sighed, hiding the bottle behind some books on the shelf. He went for the door and turned back to see Hanji unconscious on the floor, hugging his jacket. What was with women nowadays?

...

Armin stood outside Mikasas' room, waiting a few moments to knock at the door. He wore his casual clothes; brown pants, white shirt and a grey blouse.

He took in a sharp breath and knocked the door.

It opened slightly, revealing Mikasa "Armin?"

She opened the door for him and he entered the room. He froze in his tracks, seeing a ginger haired girl on the bed opposite Mikasa. "Armin is it?" She smiled.

"Y-yes" he looked down, scratching his head.

"I'm Petra, I'm in Corporal Levis' squad with Mikasa."

"Oh, yes, I remember. You came to get her from breakfast a few times..." He glanced over to Mikasa, she was wearing dark pants, white shirt and that red scarf. She sat with her knees at her chest on the bed, she raised a brow at his stare.

"I could leave if you want" Petra offered, ready to stand.

Armin wanted to tell her it was okay, that he should probably leave instead. But Mikasa interjected.

"Yes please, if you don't mind."

Petra looked down, a little upset, but she gave a smile regardless "alright, then I'll see you tomorrow."

She jumped up and headed for the door, before closing it behind her, she peeked in "try not to be late..." and the door closed.

He stood awkwardly for a minute, not sure what to do. He looked up, her eyes were elsewhere. She was staring out the window. He walked closer, sitting where Petra had sat.

"Armin, what happened?" Her eyes never left the window, her voice sounded like it was forced.

He frowned, confused "what?"

"In Trost that day. What happened?"

The hair on his arms stood on end, and he gripped the sheets of the bed tightly. He remembered, seeing all their deaths again, seeing Eren.

"Armin... I need to know." She looked at him with a pitiful look on her face, she was paler than usual, still sickly. "I keep seeing things, keep imagining how it must have happened... It's killing me."

"Mikasa... I don't want to tell you, it's not going to help" he avoided locking eyes with her.

"Please" she whispered desperately "I know it will hurt, but I need to know. I don't want to see the different ways he could have died anymore."

He pulled his legs up and wrapped his arms around his knees, mimicking Mikasa. "An abnormal came out of nowhere, and it got Thomas. Eren went after it... another Titan got his leg and he fell..." his face sunk lower, chin leaned against the tops of his knees. "It went to hell from there... everyone else got picked off, one by one. I just froze... I couldn't move, I couldn't do anything. A Titan got me, dropped me in its' mouth... I thought I was going to die... But Eren, he got inside its' mouth, and he pulled me out... He saved me... He died in my place..."

His eyes swelled, pricking with tears that stung down his face. "I'm sorry... It's all my fault..."

Mikasa looked over, sorrow dwelling over her features. The swelling lump in her throat denied her breath. She pulled herself tighter into a ball, closing her eyes to ease the strain. "It... It's not you fault..."

"It is, I wasn't strong enough to even help any of my friends! I'm still not strong enough... I don't want to lose anybody else because of how useless I am. Even you're changing, losing what made you the way you are. All because I couldn-"

A hand hit the top of his head, pulling his hair a little. "You're not useless, Armin... Stop thinking like that." Her words were choked out. "You saved me and Eren more than once..."

He looked up at her frown "I did?" He doubted her.

"Y-yes... You were always there to keep Eren out of harms way, talking your way out of bad situations... And five years ago, you ask Hannes to go and find us. We'd both be dead now if not for you... We were given the choice of how we were going to die, because of you."

"Don't you hate me, for letting him die?..."

She sat herself closely beside him. "I'm angry, but not at you. Eren cared a lot about you, you were his best friend. Even if I did blame you for what happened, I couldn't take it out on you. You're all I have left from those short good times, it would hurt him to see me hate you."

He rubbed his eyes, the tears slowly coming to a halt. Looking at her, she still didn't look well, like she was ready to be sick at any time. "Mikasa... Is that why you were out the other night? You were thinking about him?"

Her gaze descended to the floor, admitting the truth in his words.

He nodded, looking away to the window "the rain still hasn't stopped. I don't know how you can handle how cold it is in here..."

She shuffled closer, leaning against his side.

He turned his head, surprised. "Are you alright?"

Her head motioned up and down once, slowly.

"Are you cold?"

"A little."

"I'll get a cover" he made to stand, and she stood with him. He took the sheets off of the bed they sat on, and wrapped it around her. She pulled the covers at her chest and sat back down, placing her back against the wall.

"Do you want me to go?" He asked, still standing.

She shook her head and petted her hand beside her. He sat next to her, and she shuffled closer again. "Are you still cold, there's another cover over there" he pointed, ready to get up again.

She pulled at his sleeve, shaking her head. "I'm fine."

His leaned the back of his head against the wall in compiance, as her head rested on his shoulder. It was weird to him, he'd never had this feeling before, not this kind of situation. She'd stopped speaking, probably tired out from it. She never talked much, not to him. He glanced down, her eyes were closed and she was settling calmly by him, slowly falling asleep. "Come on..." He lifted himself up, waking her out of near sleep. "It's not good for your back to sleep like that" he helped her lie her head against the pillow at the top of the bed, making sure she didn't just drop.

"Goodnight, Mikasa..." He headed for the door.

"Armin... Don't go."

"Mikasa..." he tried to say, thinking of the other time he stayed with her and how it turned out.

"Please, I don't want you to leave..." her voice sounded sleepy.

"But Mikasa, las-"

"Please..." she pleaded in a cute voice as she yawned.

Armin sighed, giving in. He walked over to the other bed and pulled open the sheets.

"Armin..."

"Yes...?"

"Can you sleep over here?"

He nearly bit his tongue in surprise, what was wrong with her? "Mikasa, I can't."

"Why not?"

"We're not kids, it's not decent."

She paused a few moments, then looked at him with those sleepy grey eyes "I'm cold."

"Have another cover" he pulled the sheet up.

"No, please Armin."

"No, Mikasa."

She sighed and escaped her sheet prison, getting up to walk over to him. "Let's sleep over here then."

"Mikasa..."

"Armin?" She tilted her head. "Do you see me in that way? Would it be that bad to sleep with me?"

He blushed, thinking back to when he woke up with her on his chest. He looked to his feet. "Do you even know what your saying?"

"All I'm asking is to go to sleep with you, I'll wake up tomorrow morning and we'll get on with our day."

"You're not well."

"It was nice last time, before you know... I won't give you my sickness, I promise, I'll even turn away from you."

What was with all the girls in this place?! Mikasa wasn't acting right, she'd never ask anyone this. She was unwell and grieving, all she wants is some comfort.

She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into a warm hug. His arms were trapped inside the hug, this was a trap, and he was stuck in it. "Please?"

"F-fine..."

She let him go slowly and waited.

Armin watched her carefully, she just looked tired. He got into the bed, in the corner. She got in too, pulling the covers up. "Thank you, Armin... Goodnight."

"Goodnight..." He stared at the ceiling, feeling the tension between himself and her. She just settled against the pillow and quietly fell asleep, her back to him.

The rain still relented outside, it was the only sound that could be heard.


	14. Guilt

It was early morning, Reiner and Bertholdt stood at opposite sides of the room, backs turned to one another as they changed into their uniforms.

"Military Police around, it's pretty unsettling" Reiner finally spoke, fastening the buckle at his chest.

Bertholdt sat on the edge of his bed, pulling on his boots. "Yeah..." he hummed, staring at the second boot. "The evidence available to them points more towards someone else though..."

Reiner looked over to him in a small, but quick jolt of his head. He looked down, clenching his fist. "Those lazy bastards will want to get it over with as quickly as possible. They don't care."

Bertholdt looked up with a concerned gaze, pulling the second boot up his leg. "Would you say that's such a good thing?"

Reiner caught his gaze and frowned. Knowing they both felt guilt for the pain they were causing their so called  _friends_. "Not for them at all... Whatever happens, will just happen. We can't fail, Bertl. You know what we have to do."

Bertholdt nodded slowly, swallowing the guilt.

"We've gotten this far, there's no turning back now..." Reiner added, voice hinting at reluctance.

"There was never any turning back to begin with, I know that..."

Reiner walked over, placing a firm hand onto his old friends' shoulder, a simple symbol of male to male comfort.

...

Armin woke up, the sun had just risen through the window panes. His blue eyes were still filled with sleep as the light was blocked by a mass of short black hair. He knew the scent, it was like a unique blend of mimosa and the fir. He felt inclined to move closer and inhale the inimitable aroma, but stopped as he heard a distinct exhale of breath beside him. His head tweaked back and he pushed it into the pillow, reducing his debauched breathing. His lungs reduced speed, and he turned to look away from her, pulling the covers close to his face. He felt uneasy, unsteady, bothered. He forced the feelings away, it was just Mikasa, it was just Mikasa.  _Just?_ He shook his head, in attempt to disregard the thoughts that came to mind.

A warm hand pet his arm under the covers, his entire body jolted and then stiffened. He moved closer the the wall his front side faced, and the hand fell to his back. His mind rolled back, should he wake her? Should he sneak out? What would be the best option in the current situation; trapped between a wall and a sleeping, creeping Mikasa.

She moved closer, pressing against his back as the hand from before wrapped around his torso, seeking out the warmth omitting from him.

He squirmed a bit, but was held tighter as a result. He turned his head to look back at her, side glancing past his messy blonde hair to see a humbly resting Mikasa. Her nose twitched as a blonde lock tickled it. He inhaled sharply, and shook his head a little, moving more of his hair into her hair. Her sleeping face wrinkled and pulled away from him, but her grasp on his didn't cease.

He let out a childlike growl, and pushed his head back, repeating the action.

She moaned, releasing her hold and rubbing her itching face. "Wh-what...?" She barely breathed.

Her fingers caught in a tugged lock of blonde hair, causing him to give a sharp yelp.

Her eyes opened, meeting his the back of his head, they widened. "Armin?" She moved backwards, creating some space between them. Her hand rested on the pillow. She blushed "morning..."

"M-morning" he turned onto his back, giving a weak toothy grin.

"I'm sorry, this is becoming a habit..." she rubbed her nose again, closing her eyes to avoid awkward contact with his.

He looked away at the wall "it's okay... I know you need the company." He gave a light giggle "but maybe from now on, I should sleep in the other bed..."

She lifted her upper body up, staring at him "from now on?"

He blushed, pulling his hand over his head "uh... I...umm..."

She smiled gently and rested her head back onto the pillow "alright then..."

He glanced over, seeing her smile. It was warm, not lively or energetic, it was like a warm fire on a cold evening.

"Did I say something wrong?" She sounded with buried the lower half of her face under the covers.

"N-no, you just surprised me" his mouth curled up nervously "I just I haven't seen you smile like that in a while..."

"Oh..." she let out a sigh, looking up at the ceiling. Her eyelids drifted down for a minute, then she spoke "I should get ready."

She pulled the covers off of her, and got up out of the bed. The cold air of the room hit her, she held herself a moment then moved to the wardrobe, bringing out her uniform. She looked back to Armin, he was watching her intently half hidden under the covers. "Armin, do you mind..."

"Oh, yeah! Of course." He got up, shaking at the cold.

He opened the door, peeking out to check the hallway. All clear. "See you later, Mikasa"

She gave a little wave as he left the room, closing the door behind him.

...

Mikasa opened the door to her units' private 'meeting' room. Her squad looked up to her a moment, Petra waved "goodmorning, Mikasa."

"Morning" she nodded, closing the door behind her.

"Why is it, that women tend to become instantly more sociable to other women?" Auruo questioned rhetorically.

She sat down at the empty space next to Gunther, picking up a piece of bread from a plate in the middle of the table. "I thought you and Petra talk a lot" she said as if it were a simple observation, half of her intended the insulting joke. She took a bite, not bothering to look up to see if it registered.

Petra let out a quiet giggle, along with Erd. Gunther held back the laugh and looked to Auruo, he wasn't happy to say the least. His face smeared with frustration and annoyance "you little..."

She took another bite, her eyes closed.

"You seem cheerier today, Mikasa? Good sleep?" Petra asked, putting a piece of bread in front of Auruos' face while she leaned over the table toward Mikasa.

Mikasa looked up, putting her bread back down. She looked critically at her, but nodded, taking another bite with a light hum.

A knock at the door echoed through the room, then turned to the abrupt noise. The door opened, revealing a handful of men with the Military Police badges at their chests.

"Mikasa Ackerman?" The man in front questioned.

Mikasa nodded, everyone looked to her, her squad looked back to the men, a couple armed with guns on their backs.

"We would like you to come with us."

"You're interrupting an important meeting." Levi spoke, unmoving on his couch. He flashed a warning glance towards the intruders, but kept still and relaxed in his seat.

"We have been requested to take Ackerman in for questioning in regards to what happened with the two Titans that were captured."

"You're arresting her?" Petra called over, worried for her friend.

"Yes." The man replied "now, if you would come quietly."

Mikasa stood, raising a brow. She knew she didn't do anything, but knew that now wasn't the time to question her situation. They were going to question her, she would explain then, to the cowards that looked at her with lazy and begrudging stares. She walked over to them, and they closed the door behind them without a word of apology or further explanation.

"Corporal!" Petra begged.

"There's nothing I can do, they were brought in to investigate the killings. If Mikasa is innocent, then she has nothing to worry about. If she is guilty, then those dogs will finally leave."

She frowned, settling uncomfortably in her seat.

They were struck silent by the event which had just taken place, never guessing that Mikasa of all people would be arrested and taken in for questioning.

Levi sighed inwardly.  _Teenagers... That damned Ackerman..._


	15. Armin

Armin ambled through the corridors, hunting down his room so he could change into his uniform.

He kept his head low, trying to avoid the occasional glance from his fellow soldiers. He looked down to his casual attire, all wrinkled and tinted with sweat. He pulled at his shirt in attempts to keep it from sticking to his skin.  _Yuck..._ he thought, but gave a sigh  _it could always be worse..._

 _"_ Armin? Wake up in the wrong bed or something?"

Armin jarred back, his throat involuntary let out a squeak. He looked up with wide eyes to see Reiner and Bertholdt. Bertholdt looked as he usually did; quiet and tense in the background of his shorter, but far more bulky friend. Reiner had a straight face to begin with, but it quickly turned into amusement after Armin stared in shock a few more moments.

"I was only joking..." Reiner scratched his head, shifting his short, scruffy blonde hair.

Armin shook his head, scratching his own head. His hair was in knots, tangled and typical 'bed hair'. "I was..."

"Don't worry about it, secret's safe with us. Right Bertl?" Reiner looked back to Bertholdt.

"Yes." Bertholdt nodded to Reiner, then looked back down to Armin.

Armin nodded, appreciated by the gesture. He took a moment, noting the extraordinary difference in height between himself and Reiner and Bertholdt. He felt so small compared to them, reminded him of his childhood when he would get beat up by the local bullies. Of course, Eren and Mikasa normally came to the rescue before anything serious happened. Reiner and Bertholdt weren't like the bullies, he knew that for certain. They were like big brothers, in every sense of the term.

"So is it rude to ask who it was?" Reiner continued, arching his brow suggestively.

Armin looked down, hiding his strained, flushed face. "She'd probably kill me..." He half joked, voice stuck in his throat.

"Oh...  _She_? And sounds violent... We're getting closer now" Reiner grinned, waiting to see Armin look up defensively. He laughed, planting large hand onto Armins' head, ruffling his hair about to make it even messier. His hand was huge too, and pulled almost all of his hair around and in his face.

After Reiner pulled his hand back to his side, Armin blew the hair out of his face, but resorted to swiping the hair away with his hands. "I should really get going, I've got a busy morning and I... I don't think I have that much time."

"Sure, sure. See you around, Armin." Reiner waved him by.

...

After a speedy shower and change of attire, Armin headed for the mess hall.

His mind had crept back to Mikasa several times that morning, the occasional awkward times, but he couldn't help it. She was strong, she was always strong. For the first time ever, she seemed weak. For the first time since before they met, she was without Eren. He understood how she felt in a sense. Eren was his best friend after all, as close a brother to him as he was to Mikasa. So now he was gone, dead. They never found his body, it was likely trapped inside some crystalized vomit of that Titan. He regretted this now above everything that had happened. They couldn't even bring him back, to bury or say goodbye to. It hurt, it really did. Mikasa must have been going through hell thinking about it, no wonder she was slowly breaking. Having to simply be told she was never going to see the most important person in her life again.

"Hey, Armin. What's wrong?" Jean asked, looking up as Armin approached the table with a somber expression.

"This world is pretty cruel, isn't it?" He sat beside Jean.

"What?" Jean strained his face, trying to work out what exactly Armin was talking about. He assumed it might have something to do with everything that had happened, mainly Titans. "Yeah, sure is..."

Armin let out a sigh, shaking his negative thoughts away.

"You want to talk?"

"I just keep thinking about Trost" Armin glanced at him, with a pained expression on his face.

Jean slowly nodded "About Eren?"

He hummed, looking down at the table. "Nevermind, there's someone else I think needs to talk about it as much as I do. Thank you though, Jean."

"You sure? You look like hell... No offense."

Armin smiled half heartedly "everything will be alright, we just have to believe it will or else we won't have the will to keep going."

They both sat there in silence for a while, too deep in thought, caught off guard by the sudden seriousness.

"I just remembered, I have to check up on someone..." Armin got up, taking a loaf and cup of water. "I'll see you later, Jean. Thanks again."

"No problem...?"

...

He knocked the door with his elbow, both his hands were occupying bread and a cup of water. He shifted the doorknob with a little strain, but eventually it turned and the door opened. "Hanji? It's Armin."

"Shhhh Don't shout..." Hanji pleaded, sitting at her desk, holding her head in agony.

"Sorry Hanji... I brought you breakfast..." Armin lowered his tone. He strode over to her desk, holding out the bread and water.

"Oh, you're such a little sweetie" she took the cup and the bread, immediately drinking the entire cup in one swift gulp. "I'll be honest... I don't feel so good."

"You did seem a little drunk last night... I was worried, so I thought I'd check on you."

Hanji let out a sudden loud laugh "HA! A little? I feel like absolute shit today... I must have been pissed out of my mind."

Armin laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head.

"Oh yeah... Did you leave me your jacket too? Wow, I'm blessed with such a little helper" she smiled, pulling his jacket from the back of her chair.

He took it when she offered it to him, he stared at it, puzzled. "It's... wet..."

She giggled "Yeah... I had to clean it... If you understand what I mean."

He nodded, folding it under his arm.  _Yuck..._

"I  _did_  clean it. Trust me on that. I may be a mess, but I can still understand things around me, I knew it wasn't mine so I thought the least I could do was clean it."

"Thank you, Hanji" Armin smiled, reluctantly putting the damp jacket on.

"Sooo... I couldn't help but notice Ilses' notebook on my desk. I take it you read it?" Her voice was low, hunting for his opinion.

"Ah, yes. I've actually gone over it a few times to make sure I got it all. It was very disturbing, but the last record in it was... interesting to say the least. That's why you tried communication with the Titans... I can't help but feel sorry for her."

Hanji motioned her hand for him to continue.

"I umm... There was a name mentioned in her notebook. I've heard the name before. Ymir."

"Someone you know?"

"Yes... But it is very likely a coincidence."

She rubbed her forehead "you should know better, little scamp. Very often, there are no such things as coincidences. We can't afford to think of things in such a way. If we have reason to doubt, quite often we simply must. We'd all have died long ago if not for that basic instinct."

Armin nodded, slowly. Taking in her words, knowing that despite her more than eccentric nature, she was actually quite a clever person. "There is a Ymir in our class from the Training Corps. She joined the Scouting Legion and is always around a shorter blonde girl called Christa."

"Thank you, Armin. I'll look into it" she smiled to him.

A knock came at the door, they both turned their attention to its' direction. A man stood there, unknown to Armin. "Hanji, the Military Police have arrested someone."

"They found the murdered?" Her voice turned up a notch, anxious.

"Yes, she's being interrogated in the basement at the minute."

"I see, do you know the girls' name?"

"I believe it was Mikasa Ackerman, ma'am."


	16. Doubt

It was dark, to say the least.

The faint fading of candlelight tinted the walls with a flickering vapour. The smell of dusted murk infiltrated her nostrils, invoking a silent twitch. It wasn't the nicest of rooms, but it had been cleaned like the rest of the renovated castle. There was no trace of cobwebs or rodents, not to her knowledge or current speculations. Although, the man pacing in front of her was a minor distraction in the otherwise quiet room.

Mikasa glanced up with bored, grey eyes. He had prodded information from her piece by piece, but there was still not enough evidence for clear conviction, no matter how much he wanted it.

He glared down at her expressionless face, his amber eyes glinted with embers, ready to spark a raging bonfire. His hands tied behind his back tightly, he was desperate to reach out and smack the little bitch sitting before him. That smug, calm attitude of hers was constricting his lungs. She was maybe half his age too, yet she replied to each of his questions with such a sense of uncaring reason. He bit his tongue, daring not to strike her.

She could see that he wanted to hit her, she knew that look all too well. He wouldn't dare, would he? Her face lowered, glowering up at him with warning. If he attacked her, she wouldn't hesitate to fight back.

The door opened, revealing another, lower ranked, Military Police soldier. "Sir! Major Hanji Zoe from the Scouting Legion is here" the woman notified, lowering her head in submission.

"Get rid of her, the Scouting Legion has no business with these matters."

Hanji barged through the door, standing tall to face the man who arched his back to meet her dominant stance. "Well, I'd have to disagree with you there, Iscah. This is very much  _my_  business."

He grit his teeth, suppressing a growl. "With all due respect, the investigation of the Titan killings is in the jurisdiction of the Military Police. Members of the Scouting Legion are to go about their daily affairs as usual until our duties are complete."

"Have you found anything on Ackerman?" She shot back, ignoring his mindless speech.

"That is confidential information, Major Hanji."

" _My_   _ass_ , since when would you care?" She answered with a mocking tone.

"Since I was put in charge of this operation. Now, if you would leave."

"So you can beat a confession out of the girl?" She pressed her hands into her hips, staring him down.

His stance lowered defensively, he looked back to Mikasa, who looked up with the same cold stare.

"I see you aren't denying it. Wouldn't it be unfortunate if a member of the Military Police, just promoted too, beat a young girl for unjust accusations which may or may not be righteous in the end? I think that would look pretty bad on that soldier..."

"What is it that you want?" He spat at her.

"I would like to interrogate the girl myself."

"Out of the question, you should leave."

"Oh? It really would be a shame... Tragic in fact for the Military Police to be degraded because of one soldier. And for the Scouting Legion to have one of it's strongest soldiers. I'm sure I could clear some of those unclear issues away."

He couldn't hold in a growl this time "alright, you have ten minutes with her. But I stay, and after that, you have to leave."

"Very well" she smiled, pacing slowly closer to Mikasa.

He nodded to the woman guarding the door "no one else is to get in, understand? I don't care if Erwin Smith turns up at that door, it is to remained shut."

She closed it with a vigorous nod "yes, sir!"

"Mikasa Ackerman." Hanji spoke, voice flowing with harnessed anticipation.

Mikasa looked up, unfazed.

"Don't think I'm here as your saviour. I have heard much about you already. Enough to understand the reason you are under suspicion. Enough to have great doubt about you myself. However, I have reasons to believe you are also innocent. Tell me, Mikasa. Are you innocent, or guilty?"

She looked down, admittedly acknowledging her question. She was far from innocent, nor was she guilty of the crime she was accused. She sighed inwardly, letting out her private despair.

...

Armin growled, less effective than the more physically mature individual but with just as much effort and intensity.

He was in the stables, tending to a few of the three hundred horses available to the Scouting Legion. He brought some of the haynets into the sheltered hallways of stalls. Too deep in thought to notice a dark shadow approach from inside. He stumbled back slightly, but regained balance as quickly as he could.

"Corporal Levi." He nodded, hands and arms too full to salute properly.

Levi met eyes with him, looking up slightly from the inch different in height. He bore a lazy glance in acknowledgement. He proceeded to stride away to whatever duties the mysterious Corporal had, Armin thought for a moment. Was he tending to the horses? Didn't sound right for the Corporal, maybe he prefered the company of horses to people... Still didn't seem right. Perhaps, he was with someone? Still didn't seem right.

"Armin!"

He looked ahead into the darkened hallway of horses, seeing Petra. She looked a little more than surprised to see him, he was nearly as surprised to see her there. Where the Corporal left from? He noticed her face was mostly hidden by shadows, he was unable to analysis her facial features for evidence. He looked down, she was just wearing her uniform as normal, a little bit messy from the stables, but normal. Seemed normal. He walked closer, carrying the haynets with an honest slight struggle. "H-hey Petra."

"Do you need some help there?" She asked, edging towards him.

"No, no, it's fine." he offered a shy smile, tossing a haynet to the ground in front of a stall, moving on to the next.

"Are you sure, doesn't look fine..." she stood still, her head moving from side to side of the hall as he shuffled along, dropping haynet after heaving haynet.

"I'm just about done" he replied, at the end of the hall, moving to the stall she was at.

She clasped the thick string of a haynet he was about to toss. "This is my horse, Argent" she pulled it over to the tall grey stallion, a white strip marked down his long face. She tied a knot around the bars of the stall door, lacing her seemingly delicate fingers through the loops. "Armin, what did you hear?" Her voice sounded cautious, but the words were still a positive request of information.

He frowned, becoming more suspicious of the situation beforehand. "Nothing... Really."

"Nothing like I saw nothing a few mornings ago, or nothing nothing?" She didn't turn around yet, waiting for his answer.

"Nothing nothing..." His brow arched, his fingers twitching nervously. "Were you and...?"

"Nothing nothing" she repeated, turning around to face him. Her amber eyes full and bright. "Really" she smiled.

He stared a moment, before returning a half smile. He turned, heading on to the next stall. His hands were finally free as he began to tie the haynet onto the bars of the stall door, petting the palomino mares' muzzle as she nibbled at the meal he brought. "Petra, did you hear about Mikasa...?" He forced the words out.

Petra stood at the next stal down, tying up one of the haynets he dumped. Her head bounced in his direction, eyes full of concern "y-yes... She was in the meeting this morning when they came for her... How did you know?"

"I went to go see Hanji, and someone came to tell her about it" he looked back with a solemn expression.

"You don't think she could have done it, do you? She always seemed so... not docile... reserved? She didn't look full of hatred or vengeance, she just looked quite lonely..."

Armin shivered, he knew exactly what she was talking about, she had pretty much made the same observation he had. But all the same, he could remember Hanjis' warning about doubt.

_"We can't afford to think of things in such a way. If we have reason to doubt, quite often we simply must."_

"I don't know..."

"Armin?"

"I can understand why they arrested her, she was out there that night, shes' breaking emotionally... They made the best decision they could, and they may be right..."

She pulled at his arms, forcing him to look into her eyes. He didn't even notice her move closer, he was losing his focus, he was getting too emotional. "Armin, she's your friend isn't she?"

His eyes began to sting as he store into hers, he nodded.

"Who else has she got other than you?..."

He thought for a moment "she has other friends, you guys..."

"Would she invite them to sleep over? She trusts you, you should trust her. Regardless of whether or not she did it. You should stick by her, help her through her problems..."

He looked down, feeling his heart clench, his entire body clench. She was right, he had to believe it, he knew it was right. A ragged breath entered his nose, a rough sniff.

Petra released him, and pet his head, resting her hand there. "She was talking to me about you last night, before you knocked at the door I mean. I may have intruded in her business, enticed her into some girl talk. But she did speak fondly of you. Please just remember that, Armin. I know you're a good guy."

_I'm sorry, Mikasa..._


	17. Sick

"Hey, Petra!"

Petra turned from sweeping the stable hallway, hearing the all too familiar deep, but mischievous voice beckon from behind her. She raised a brow and halted her sweeping, however, she kept the broomstick clutched in her right hand. "Auruo? Did you need something?"

His thin eyes were half closed as usual, focused on her with an artful interest. She noted the stupid grin on his face, that dumb look that she knew he had given up hiding a long time ago. She sighed, closing her eyes so she didn't have to look at him.  _Idiot..._ she groaned.

"Just here to see that cheerful face of yours" he teased, folding his arms across his chest.

She turned to begin sweeping once more, rolling her eyes "how nice."

Armin was at the other end of the hall, sweeping his side, as himself and Petra agreed earlier, or rather, Petra insisted upon. He looked over to Petra and Auruo, his brow arched as he couldn't help but overhear their conversation. He didn't know who exactly Auruo was, but judging by the interaction between them, they must have been somewhat close. However, he could hear the disdain in her tone as she replied. It was subtle hint of rejection.

Auruo gave a lowered snarl, looking away from her. He took a mere moment of thought before speaking once again.

She glanced back at him, expecting some sort of arrogant rant as he often did when talking to her.

"The nerve of that Ackerman brat..."

There it was.

"I knew she was trouble from the moment she walked in our meetings room. That smug little attitude of hers... I knew was only a matter of time before she found trouble."

Armins' head lowered, and he couldn't suppress a whelps' growl.

"Auruo, stop it." Petra turned back to confront him, flashing a sharp warning in her amber orbs. "You know better than to question your friends' actions."

He huffed, keeping his face in another direction from hers, anywhere but  _those_  eyes.

"Didn't you think the same about me when we met?" She questioned, digging deep for some sense of sympathy or realisation or  _at least_  something human.

He gave an instant bold laugh, it bellowed out deep from within his throat. "You really think hatred was the first thing that came to mind when I met you?"

She frowned and turned her back to him, returning to her busy sweeping "you really are an idiot."

His grin returned, looking down at her with an arrogant, stupid gaze.

It had caught her completely off guard; what he then proceeded to do to her next. His hands snaked around at her hips, pulling her back against his solid chest. Her own chest elevated involuntary, the heat from her soared heart soaking her cheeks multiple shades of scarlet. His hands moved around the front of her thighs with light force, and his head moved forward around the side of her face so that she could glimpse at his copied hair from the fringe of her vision.

She swung her elbow back into his abdomen, forcing him to hold the pounded spot as though she had just stabbed him. "Shit..." he grunted, glancing up at her with sore eyes.

The smile she presented caught him unaware, it was an innocent sort of sweet sight, but the look in her eyes said it all. She lifted up her right index finger, pointing it up to the heavens, correcting herself. "A pathetic idiot. You should stop joking around like that, it doesn't get funnier the more you do it..."

He rubbed the new bruise on his belly, trying to distract his dignity, so it wouldn't come coughing out of his gullet. "So what is your cheerful self doing around these filthy stables anyway?"

"I'm helping Armin." She huffed back at him, pointing to the other side of the hall, where Armin stood watching them with horridied curiousity as he pretended to sweep the ground, although his bluff was easily called by the older pair.

Auruo was taken aback a moment, he hadn't noticed the kid standing there before. He forced himself upright, back into his more natural, dominant state of being. "Armin...? That names' pretty familiar."

"I'm surprised you forgot. Armin here's a little prodigy" her smile grew larger, more open to the change of topic.

Auruos' eyelids were almost closed as he glared over to Armin, gesturing to him the judging look across his face. "Oh really?... Oi, kid! Come over here will you?!" He ordered.

Armin kept hold of his broom, hesitating as he looked over in shocking contact he had just witnessed between the two. Petra gave him a careful look, like a mother wolf keeping an eye on her pup. He nodded and walked over to them. He had to look up, greatly considering the difference in height they had. He swallowed and caught his breath.

"How many Titans have you killed, then?" Auruo demanded, his voice plain and sly.

"N-none..." Armin answered shakily, avoiding eye contact.

"I've killed 42, all solo."

"Wow..." Armin couldn't help but say, he didn't admire the overly proud Auruo and his large kill count, but at the least respected his abilities, despite his arrogant and generally unpleasant personality. He then took note of his proud, tall posture; his puffed out chest, elevated head and begrudging stare.

"Some prodigy... Not even one kill, huh?"

Petras' arm jolted into his side and he jarred back, gripping the second sharp pain of the afternoon. "Stop it." She warned again.

He seemed to take it to heart, not the words themselves but the overall harsh authority of her words and actions. Armin could see he had taken a fancy to her, to say the least. He'd seen it before, in a sense. His lips parted, looking to Petra. She smiled at him, acknowledging his grateful blue eyes.

"We have to clean up here, Auruo. Want to help?" She asked, looking back at his hurt face, a look only she could recognise and often inflict.

"I have things I still have to do, but you kids can enjoy yourselves here" he tried to retort, but turned and left before Petra could assert herself again.

"Come on, dinner shouldn't be long away, we need to get this finished" she smiled sweetly to Armin, beginning to sweep the ground again.

"Yes..." He nodded. "He's a close friend?" he asked, walking back to his side of the hall.

"I suppose, he may be a ridiculous sort of guy, but I'd still call him my friend."

"Oh..."

"We're in the same squad after all, can't really afford to hate him."

"I know."

"How'd you know?" She looked up curiously.

"He.. uh.. Spoke of Mikasa like he knew her, sort of. She's pretty withdrawn, nobody else really gets to know her other than people forced to be around her. Also, he mentioned a pretty high kill record, so I just assumed he was in Corporal Levis' squad..."

She giggled, he was on the ball "seems smart, I'm guessing you're a strategist?"

"W-well... I'm not that capable physically, I'm surprised I got through those three years of training..."

"Don't bring yourself down. Trust me, brains are often better than brawn. You've seen the more physically capable idiots around here I'm sure..." she let out a humble chuckle.

Armin let out a small twitter himself, but held back easily. A raspy cough escaped his throat, it was rough and sharp, he covered his mouth to prevent the mucus from infesting the outside world.

"You okay there?" Petras' voice hitched, full of concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine..."

...

"Whoa, Armin. You look like shit, man..." Ymir bent over her chair, as a demeaning smirk curved its' way up her face.

"I'm alright" he assured her, letting out another ragged cough. His face had become paler in a matter of three hours; the time since the first cough when cleaning the stables with Petra happened.

He sat opposite at the table of Connie and Sasha, who once again shared their dinner, or rather competed for each others dinner. "Hey, Armin, you should eat something, Ymir is  _kinda_  right, you don't look so good. Got the flu or something?" Connie worded, swatting away Sashas' hand from his plate.

"I was in the stables today, it was kind of cold out there, so I guess it's just the flu or something... I'm not hungry though." He gripped his stomach, it hurt a little, he felt his breakfast churn about in the most unpleasant manner. He really didn't want to eat anything. _I was fine this morning..._

"Armin, here" a soft voice fluttered, before a cup was placed in front of him on the table. He looked up, seeing Christa sit beside him, her blue eyes glittered with concern.

"Thanks Christa, but I-"

"Please Armin, if you feel unwell it's good to drink lots of water" she frowned, lifting the cup up in order to offer it to him personally.

His lips parted, ready to protest.

"Accept the damn offering, idiot." Ymir groaned at the table next to them, keeping watch over her smaller companion. "Before I do."

He nodded, and took the cup from Christa. She smiled warmly as he forced it down his gullet. He then gasped, a look of complacent despair overlapped his features. "Thank you..." he attempted to return a smile.

"Hey... You two look a lot alike now that I notice it, are you related?" Connie stared at them, looking from side to side at them both.

"R-really?" Christa glanced over to Armin nervously.

"You both have pretty much the same hair and eyes. I can't be the only one to be noticing this?!" Connie exclaimed, looking to his companions for confirmation.

Armin looked down at Christa, Connie wasn't wrong, she did look pretty similar to him in regards to hair and eyes. He laughed inwardly at the thought of having a female version of himself.

"You guys might be long lost siblings or something..." Sasha bubbled up through a mouth full of food.

"I'm sure it's just a coincidence..." Christa giggled innocently, holding her small fingers over her mouth so not to be rude.

Ymir let out an obviously exaggerated laugh, clasping her forehead and ruffling her brown fringe.

"I'm not saying I wouldn't like you as a brother!" Christa put her hands up defensively, trying not to be offensive. "You're very nice, Armin."

"I know what you meant... I actually wouldn't mind having you as a little sister though, you're always so thoughtful, kind hearted and you're-"

Ymir cut Armin off as she forced herself a seat between him and Christa. She glared down at him and pushed closer to a poor, flustered Christa. The look in Ymirs' eyes pretty much told him  _this is mine._

"Uh... Well you can't deny they look a lot alike..." Connie finished, picking up his cup to take a drink, hiding himself from Ymirs' deadly stare.

"Hey Armin, where's your girlfriend?" Ymir poked him.

"Wh-what?" He pulled back, rubbing the spot in his arm where she jabbed her finger.

"Wow, she's missing one day and you've forgotten her already?!" She leaned her face into her palm, resting her elbow on the table. She sounded cocky as usual, trying to pry a reaction out of him.

"Are you talking about Mikasa?" Connie asked, keeping his distance.

"Who else?" She lifted a brow to him.

Armin looked away, avoiding their gazes. "She... Mikasa was... arrested this morning."

"Really? Well shit..." Ymir mocked, but she genuinely was quite surprised by this new information.

"No way..." Connie mumbled.

Armin coughed again, covering his mouth.

"Oi, Armin. Could you come help me out with something?" Jean stood in front them, his eyes focused down at Armin.

Armin nodded "sure..."

Jean led him over to a separate table, where he had been sitting by himself. Armin noticed a couple of sheets of paper and a pen, which Jean sat down in front of. Armin sat next to him with a cautious expression. "What's that?" He asked.

"I was uh... Writing a letter to Marco, you know, he joined the Military Police, so I just wanted to let him know how things were going..." He scratched the back on his head and looked down at the letter.

"I don't think-" he coughed but couldn't cover his mouth on time. "Sorry... I don't that's why you called me over, Jean."

"Oh? Well I just heard you say something about Mikasa being arrested, just thought I'd heard wrong is all..."

Armin looked away, his face dropped in mood. He coughed again, catching it this time.

Jean sat there in disbelief, and in slight anger. "Mikasa couldn't have been arrested, she's..." He struggled to find the appropriate words, but settled with "she's Mikasa."

Armin looked up at him "they don't have that much evidence, what little they do have forces them to believe she did it. That's all I know."

"Bastards..." He growled under his breath.

"There's nothing really we can do about it... If they don't find evidence to support her defense, she'll be taken to court in Sina most likely" another cough escaped. "If that happens, we could offer to go to appeal in her defense. It might not help much, but it's the only thing we could do in that situation."

"It's fucked up, Mikasa wouldn't kill those Titans... Even if she did, who gives a fuck? She's been through a lot..."

"Jean?" Armin questioned his words, he was acting weird. He would have dismissed it as his feelings for Mikasa taking over, but he couldn't place it on that. It seemed more like a change of character for him, almost.

"Don't you think the same? She's you're friend too."

Armin frowned "we should calm down about it, Jean... Getting worked up over it isn't helping her..."

He groaned "I know... It's just wrong, I just want to do something about it."

"Me too" he coughed again.

"You alright there?"

"Yeah, just a flu, I'll be better tomorrow I'm sure..." He glanced at the letter meant for Marco. "Could you let him know I said hi?" He pointed to the paper.

Jean nodded "no problem..."

...

The night was tense.

Armin couldn't help but realise how cold it felt sleeping alone. The previous night was warm, undoubtably awkward, but still warm and comforting. Now, in his own room, all he felt was the cold, the beginnings of a headache and and sore stomach. It wasn't good overall. He could blame it on the cold day, he couldn even blame it on the past few days rain. But the more he lay in bed thinking about it, the more he realised he just missed Mikasa.

It felt wrong not to have his childhood friends, the absence of Mikasa made him unpleasantly aware of this feeling. He thought back to Eren, how he had lost him. He thought of Mikasa, how he was losing her now. It wasn't right at all, the strong shouldn't be the ones to fail to survive in this world, the weak should fail. Armin regarded himself as the weak, his friends as the strong. It sickened him, in more ways than one.

Who else was he going to lose in this war? Who was next on the infinite hit list? Jean, Christa, Ymir, Hanji, Connie, Sasha, Petra? How many more had to die? How many more had to be left behind to suffer?

" _Fuck_ " he coughed, pulling himself under the covers.

...

The next day, he felt like absolute shit.

It was like someone had thrown a boulder on top of him, or he'd drank too much alcohol or... He didn't even know. His head hurt too much.

All day, people were asking if he was okay. He couldn't really recognise a lot of them, he was oblivious. They might have been strangers, they might have been his friends. All the same, he told them he was fine, he'd get better soon. Some suggested he go to the infirmary. He rejected the idea every time. He wasn't going to be a burden, he could get through it without putting a strain on anyone else.

The day dragged on for eternity, but as he entered the mess hall for dinner. He realised, it felt like no time at all.

"Armin... You really should go see doctor or something..." a male voice called from a full table.

"I'll be okay, don't worry" he replied weakly as he walked past them. He planted himself at a table by himself, dismissing the idea of friends, they would only worry.

He drank some water from his cup, which was all he had gotten for dinner. His stomach still hurt, he felt like vomiting at any given moment. He shook head head and thought of something else. His mind drifted to the Titans, how being in the Scouting Legion meant having to face them again. He imagined a large row of teeth, all flat and ready to grind away at whatever they caught. Blood filled his vision, his friends, himself.

"Armin... You don't look so good... Not feeling any better?" Another voice spoke, a man sat beside him.

"Jean? I'm fine, don't worry about me."

"Oh come on, you look like shit" he grabbed Armins' shoulder.

"That's kind of mean..."

"Armin, you need a doctor, no way is this flu getting better."

"Shhh... Shhh... My head hurts..." Armin clasped his hands over his ears and shuffled away from Jean, away from his grip on his shoulder.

"Armin..." he groaned, annoyed at his friends' reluctance for help. What the hell was he thinking. "What the hell have you been doing all day?"

"Cleaning up the stables again."

" _Hell._.. You need to take it easy at least..."

Armin clutched his head, it was pounding, as though his heart had found its' way inside there somehow. He knew that couldn't be possible, it was ridiculous, absurd... and other unreasonable words. All he could feel was the pulsing, it began to strain his senses, his hearing, his vision. The world was turning lighter and lighter.

_"Armin? Armin?!"_

_..._

He let out a groan, his body was aching all over. He couldn't pin point exact spots of where the pain emitted, all of it hurt.

"Armin?" A velvet voice tore through the air, reaching his ears in nothing but a whisper.

He opened his eyes, his vision was blurred. The stinging forced his lids shut again.

" _Armin_ " the voice came again, along with the soft feeling of someone stroking his hand.

He frowned, and tried to open them again. He could see better this time round, making out a figure next to him. He noticed he was lying down, and the person was sitting by his side, holding his hand. His gaze moved up to see their face. "M-Mikasa?" his light voice croaked.

"It's me" she answered.

"Wh-what... What's going on?" he pulled his free hand up to forehead, his fingers found a warm, wet clothe.

"You collapsed at dinner, and were taken to the infirmary... Sorry I wasn't there, Armin."

"Ackerman, he's awake now, you should go back to your room" a low male voice ordered, coming from across the room.

Armin looked up, seeing Corporal Levi sitting on a plain wooden chair. He looked uncomfortable, and to say the least, not happy.

Mikasa hummed harshly, keeping her eyes on Armin.

"Ackerman." He ordered again.

She persisted to ignore him, holding Armins' hand tighter.

"Mikasa... You should go" Armin tried to reason with her, knowing she was digging her own grave in arguing with the Corporal.

"I won't leave you again."

Armin was taken aback, she wasn't acting rationally again. She was worried, upset, thinking too hard.

Levi got up from his seat and walked closer, standing just behind her. He tapped his foot impatiently. "I won't ask again."

She turned back to look at him, her eyes pointed sharp daggers into his, warning him to stay away. "I won't leave."

Levi looked as though he was readying to hit her, Armin jumped, pushing himself up to sit. "Mikasa, please go, I'm fine now."

She frowned at him and waited a moment in thought. Armin dared a glance up to Levi, who waited for her with a trained patience. They shared a look and Armin looked at him desperately, hoping to keep him at bay.

She still didn't move or speak.

Armin shook his head and ignored his aching bones, he tried to get up, shifting his legs out of the covers. He groaned, it definitely hurt.

"Armin, don't move" she stood, making sure he wouldn't stand.

"I can get up, what time is it?"

"It's late." Levi answered.

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to cause this trouble, I can go back to my room."

"Don't be an idiot!" Mikasa put her hands on his shoulders and pushed his top half back onto his pillow. She forced the covers back onto him again.

"M-Mikasa!" He protested.

Levi groaned.  _Teenagers..._ "Arlert, can you guarantee she won't leave this room?"

"N-no sir..." he admitted.

"At least your honest, if you said yes I wouldn't be considering this..."

"Sir?"

"Ackerman, if you want to stay with him so badly, then fine... Arlert, you're to keep an eye on her from now on, she's not to leave your side unless I tell you so, got it?"

"S-sir?"

"That's an order."

"Y-yes, sir..."

"Good, now I'll be leaving" Levi turned and walked away, exiting the door and shutting it behind him.

Mikasa sat back in her seat next to him, looking down at Armin again with pitying eyes.

"Mikasa... What's going on...?"


	18. Keep Your Friends Close

"You should rest" Mikasa hushed him, picking up the wet cloth from his forehead to dip it in a bucket of cold water.

Armin watched her from under his brow, seeing her wring out the cloth into the bucket with her pale hands. He closed his eyes for her to put the damp cloth on his head again. It cooled his burning headache a little, at least. She wasn't too bad at the whole nursing thing. "Have you done this before?" He asked, trying to avoid the coming awkward tension.

She paused in thought, considering her answer. "Erens' dad taught me, years ago."

"Oh" he looked away, knowing it was a sensitive topic for them both.

"Just rest, Armin. I'll be here, so don't worry" she took his hand again and pulled his eyes back to hers, they were several shades warmer than grey, deep and soothing.

Armin looked down at his hand, curling his fingers around hers. It didn't feel wrong, even though in his mind he thought it should, but it didn't matter now. He sighed "I really can't sleep right now... Too much to think about."

"You can talk to me if you want" her words pierced through the stillness of the empty room.

Armin nodded slowly and kept his eyes at their hands. "I don't want to bother you anymore than I already have, I can deal with it, really."

"Don't say that" she leaned herself in closer, leaning her elbows on the bedside. "I know that you know better than to say things as stupid as that."

He frowned, trying to glance up at her, but found himself looking behind her. "I honestly thought I was going to lose you as well..."

"I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere."

"I thought... Weren't you arrested, Mikasa?" He finally looked her in the eye.

She hummed in confirmation.

"But... they let you go?"

"I didn't do it." She defended herself, frowning down at him. Her voice was still low and soft, more matter of fact than anything else.

"I-I didn't mean it like that, it's just... They had no real evidence saying you didn't do it. I doesn't make sense that they would let you go..."

"Do you believe I'm guilty?" Her heart jumped and her throat tightened. She tried to hide the sadness she felt, but Armin could see through it.

He lifted a small smile to her "I don't really care about that anymore, whether you did or didn't doesn't matter. You're my friend, that's all that matters to me."

Her lips curved up, repaying his answer with sweet and honest glow. She sighed humbly and her head slowly fell on the bed at his side "I'll keep you safe, that's all that matters to me."

"Mikasa?..." Armin spoke silently, hesitantly. She was happy, blindly so. He knew this, he didn't want her not to be happy, but still he couldn't help but notice it. She never acted like this with him, never. Not with anyone. Except Eren... He wanted to tell her then what he was thinking. He wanted to tell her that he wasn't Eren, he wasn't her brother.

She looked up at him with her eyes half closed. "Armin?" She mumbled a little more louder than a whisper, concerned with the strange look her was now giving her.

"Goodnight..." he couldn't do it.

_"Night night..."_

...

"Wake up, scampy."

Armin grumbled, turning his head away from the noise. He was still so tired, it must have been too early. He imagined he could pretend he didn't hear the voice and stay asleep a little longer.

"Come on, little scamp..." the voice sounded again, although he could recognise a hint of patience running out. unfortunately, his brain was too drained of consciousness to process the meanings of patience or annoyance.

"One last chance."

He dismissed it again for the most part, but the persistance of the voice made his eyes slowly open. Maybe it was important? Maybe something happened?

It was like a tone of water had been poured on his head. He jumped out of the bed, heart pounding out of his chest, his eyes swelling from the water making contact with his irises. The water was cold, absolutely freezing. He shivered on the floor, taking a minute before sprinting his sore blue orbs around to find the culprit. He found that it wasn't a tone of water, but a bucket full. "H-Hanji?!"

"You're alive!" She cheered, planting the bucket back on the ground. "Brilliant!"

He clasped his head, running his fingers through his soaked blonde hair. "Hanji..."

"Sorry, I got carried away" she walked around the bed to the other side, offering a hand down to Armin, which he took without hesitation. "But you have to admit, you deserved it just a little" her voice teased.

"I..."

"Sit, sit" she pushed him backwards onto the foot of the bed, and then turned to go get something out of his view.

"Hanji?" He tried to question, almost terrified by the oddness of the current situation taking place.

"Here" she offered a dry towel to him, but before he could take it, she slammed it onto his head and began rubbing.

 _"Hanji?!"_  his voice was muffled under the towel, which covered his entire head. He tried to struggle and grab the towel to dry himself off but she swatted his hands away and back to his sides. He growled under the roughness of her relentless scrubs.

"I'm helping you here, scamp, it's my fault your all soaked. So the least I can do is this" he heard her tease again.

He was relieved when she finally stopped.

She burst out into a maniacal laugh, clasping her stomach for support.

He looked up at her in confusion. He was oblivious to the fact that his hair was standing up and ruffled around like a scruffy pup.

"Hanji? Is something wrong?"

She lowered down into a snigger "nothing, nothing." He could work it out himself, eventually.

"You seem... a bit over excited today..." he tried to fish for information.

"You're a sharp one, aren't you scamp?" Her hands found her hips, and settled there. "I'll tell you after breakfast. I'm aware you haven't eaten in... what? Around two days?" Her head gestured to his bedside table, where a plate of food and large mug sat. "I won't accept refusal, I need you fit and healthy."

Armin reluctantly nodded and took the plate and mug. He stared down in wonder, he hadn't seen such a good meal in years. It was a buttered loaf with pork slices and cheese. In the mug he looked to see and darkened liquid of a light brown colour. "Hanji, what is this?"

"It's food, sustenance, something you eat to survive and keep your strength up."

He frowned, then looked up at her with worry "I mean, how...? why?"

"I have my ways, Armin. Just eat, and drink, it's a type of herbal tea, should calm any nerves. Best I could get, unless you want some sort of tranquilizer or illegal substance?"

"Thanks Hanji" he began to eat, sensing half of her tone being serious to the final part of her speech. He choked on the third bite. "Mikasa! Where's Mikasa?" He was supposed to be keeping watch over her... If she'd gone somewhere without him... No she wouldn't, why would she leave?

"Levi came and got her. She left you that scarf of hers, it was kind of touching. Levi wasn't having that shit though, grabbed her off down the hallway as soon as she wrapped it around your neck."

"Wh-what? Her scarf?" He reached for his neck, finding the soft, and slightly damp red cloth. His brows furrowed, and his grip on the fabric tightened.

"Important momento or something?" She asked, sitting on the bed opposite him, crossing her legs.

He glanced up and nodded. "It was Erens'... He gave her it when we were kids..."

Her head lowered "oh... Sounds pretty symbolic."

She had no idea. Armin was never told the details of what happened involving the passing of the scarf from Eren to Mikasa, but he knew enough to make an educated guess. She was giving him the strength that Eren gave her. That was the most basic way of putting its' symbolic connotation.

"Drink some tea" she offered a lighter, warmer tone. He complied and drank. "How do you feel anyway?"

"Alright."

"You're such a liar! You look like shit, and your still trembling. Body still aching?" Damn that observant Hanji.

He sighed, and nodded, taking another sip.

"Well, if you promise to get better, I'll share some big news with you..."

He looked up, raising a curious brow.

"Promise?"

"I promise..."

"Great! Well, to start, I requested you work with me on a more permanent basis, and Erwin said yes, so you're now in my squad, on a trial run until you prove yourself. Let me say, you're off to a bad start, I expect you to make a speedy recovery and get to work!" She grinned, holding her head up in her palm. "And, in about a month, we're heading out on another expedition."

"You mean, outside the walls?"

"That's right, kiddo. Excited?"

"A little..."

"Don't worry, you'll be with me, and you know Titans love me" she smiled.

He shook his head with a dumbfounded grin. Hanji was strong, she wasn't a squad leader for nothing, even with her... strange obsession. What dulled his once cheerful thoughts of seeing the outside world, was the thought that he wouldn't be able to see it with his best friend. He touched the scarf around his neck, holding his in his sweaty palm.

"Armin!" He heard his name from the doorway. He turned to see a que of his friends, walking in one by one closer to his bed.

"Major Hanji!" They paused, readying to salute.

"Don't mind me, just checking up on my little scamp here. I should be off now anyway" she lifted herself from the bed and ruffled Armins' hair, before exiting the room.

Connie was first to speak "why was Major Hanji here?"

"She was checking up on me and giving me updates..." He responded, unsure of Connies' suggestively questioning tone.

"Bumping close to the higher ups, Armin?" Ymir teased from behind Christa.

"What?" He blushed, hoping she wasn't meaning what he thought she was meaning.

Connie sat on his bed and jumped back up, screaming "the bed's soaking!"

"We brought you some breakfast!" Sasha cheered, then pouted when she saw Armin with breakfast already. Her eyes quickly turned demonic as she compared his middle class meal to her less than poor meal. "I'll swap you..."

"Sasha, you shouldn't take his food... he's sick" Christa reasoned, holding Sashas' arm carefully.

"Hey, isn't that Mikasas' scarf?" Jean leaned closer, with a puzzled look on his face.

Armin looked down, letting out a sigh.

...

The walk from the infirmary was silent, neither Mikasa or Levi spoke a single word, or even looked at one another. They were both tempted to hit one another, at the very least. Mikasa hated having to be dragged and ordered around by the arrogant chibi of a Corporal, taking her away from Armin when he needed her the most. Levi hated having to babysit a stubborn, over emotional brat that Erwin compared to a younger female version of him. They were both sickened by one anothers' company.

Levi ignored her for now, rejecting the urge to beat the stubborn, rebelious teenager out of her. That was yet to come, with the Military Police still wandering around, keeping an eye on Mikasa, he'd get his chance soon enough. He had to show them he could handle her, keep her under control, but that could wait for now.

"Corporal" she demanded his attention.

He glanced back, catching a glimpse of her features. She looked reluctant to speak. "Hm?" He was reluctant too.

"Why was I released? I don't fully understand" she asked,  _trying_  to keep a nonchalant tone of voice.

He ignored her for a moment. He didn't want to tell her, it was a dumb question. "Why do you want to know? Aren't you satisfied with just being released?"

She frowned at him.

"I can put you back in your cage if you want."

"I think I'll pass..." she reached for her scarf, then realised she had given it to Armin. She wanted it back, she felt cold without it, empty almost. She shook the negative impulses away, Armin would understand when he saw it, he'd feel better quicker having it. Wouldn't he?

"Ackerman, hurry your ass up, I haven't got all day" he called a few metres ahead of her.

"Why do I have to be around you? I know you hate me, and I'm not all that keen on you."

He rolled his eyes, without wasting his time on any other gestures. "I never realised you were that stupid."

She snarled and at the wall on her left, it was dull as hell, but still more pleasant looking than him.

They reached a door, a familiar door. The Corporal opened it, revealing his squad sitting at the table inside as usual.

They acknowledged their superior accordingly as he entered the room, he shrugged them off.

They looked at one another, confused, he seemed less cheerful than usual, if that was possible. Then it hit them as Mikasa entered the room, she hesitated a second as they looked at her with surprise, then she sat beside Erd and opposite Gunther.

"Mikasa, weren't you arrested?" Petra asked, leaning closer from between Gunther, and Auruo at the far seat.

She nodded, glancing at all of their faces for a moment, too quick to take in their opinions of her. She understood they were judging her.

"So they found you innocent, right?" Erd asked, raising a brow, he offered a smile so she felt less uncomfortable.

"I guess" she honestly didn't know, but they must have done otherwise she would be half way to a courtroom by now, or even prison if they couldn't be bothered enough.

Gunther and Auruo shared a glance.

"She wasn't found innocent." Levi stated, sitting at his couch as usual, legs crossed casually. "They couldn't get a confession, couldn't get enough evidence. What they got was an eyewitness."

"Eyewitness?" Mikasa asked, too eager for information to hate him.

"Erwin saw her out training that night." He finished, leaning back in his chair to relax.

"Is that why I'm being babysitted?" She growled, mostly to herself.

"So the Military Police don't even trust the Commander?" Gunther mused, offering himself into the discussion.

"I'm surprised those lazy bastards are caring so much about this, they should've pissed off back to Sina by now" Auruo added.

"Are you alright, Mikasa? Did they do anything?" Petra asked.

Mikasa remembered Captain Iscah, the Military Police soldier who interrogated her. She remembered the look on his face, the spiteful glint in his eyes. He had threatened her, but he hadn't done anything, Major Hanji had turned up just as he was losing his self control. "It was fine, you shouldn't worry."

"Where's your lucky scarf, though?" Petra continued, suggesting it got torn or ripped or damaged in some way during the interrogation.

"Lucky scarf?" Mikasa raised a brow, reaching for the scarf that wasn't there again.  _Stupid_ she called herself, pulling her hand back to her lap.

"You're never without it..." Petra twitched a smile "I just thought it was like a lucky charm or something."

Mikasa couldn't help but smile, thinking back to the memories that stupid scarf held within its' red fibres. "I gave Armin it, until he gets better."

"What's wrong?" She followed, more concerned.

"I'm not sure, I wasn't told much. He seems to be getting better though, when I saw him."

"Well, I hope he gets better soon" Petra smiled, remembering how cute she found him.

"Me too" she nodded, keeping contact with her amber eyes, appreciating her care.

Erd gestured to the food in the middle of the table "let's eat, then."

As they tucked in, Levi glanced over to them with the back of his head resting against the back of the coach. He didn't care for how lazy his position looked, he was tired already by the idea of keeping an eye on Mikasa all day long. He thought of getting someone else to do it, like he did with Armin the previous night. He locked eyes with Petra, who looked back down at her food "are you alright, Corporal?" She took another bite.

"Mhm..." He hummed back to her.

"You look a little more tired than usual" she looked back up at him, noting his overly relaxed posture.

"Cutting flesh is my speciality, I'm not overly keen on looking after a teenager with issues" he glanced over to Mikasa.

She shot back a glare and tore into her food in one sharp bite.


	19. Keep Your Enemies Closer

The Special Operations Squad trotted on atop their horses, riding outward of the main section of headquarters and toward the forest on the outskirts. Erd was up front, leading the way, followed by Petra and Auruo, who were both arguing as usual, then Gunther and Mikasa, with their trusted Lance Corporal Levi at the rear.

Mikasa kept herself and her stallion at a distance from Gunther, partly because of Dubois and his bad attitude towards other stallions. She rubbed his neck roughly, receiving a hardened nicker from the chestnut brute.

" _Shut up_ " Petra growled over to Auruo, keeping her head low in a pout and her eyes fixed at Argents' turned back ears.

Auruo looked over to her with his usual smug grin "Okay, I'll stop... I don't want to upset your boyfriend."

She glared over at him and he smirked, pulling the reins so that his horse bumped into Argent, causing him to jolt and Petra to hold on tightly to his neck. She growled, looking over to Auruo just to see the stupid look on his face. She couldn't be mad for long, not when she knew he was being an idiot. She let out a small chuckle "you used it up."

"Huh?" He frowned.

"I no longer owe you one, you big dumbass" she gave him a grin. "Bullying me like this..."

"Pfft, you still owe m-" Auruos' horse jarred, nearly tripping on a rock below. He held his mouth in shock and agony, having bit his tongue again.

"That's what you get" she whipped her hair as she turned away from him, having a silly smirk spread across her face.

Mikasa raised a brow, catching the end of their long conversation, partly argueement.

"This happens all the time, just so you know" Gunther spoke, looking down at her.

She nodded, giving him a side glance.

"You're not a people person?" He asked, nonchalantly. He didn't want to hate her, not really, but talking to her was a little more than difficult, almost as bad as trying to communicate with the Corporal. His mind drifted toward the mission at the current time, reaching the spare training circuit in the forest.

She hummed, looking down at Dubois. "My horse doesn't like other stallions, I'm just trying to keep my distance from yours."

He looked over to Dubois "oh. That's not right... These horses were bred to be quite calm tempered."

"I know, I think he needs gelded."

"Ouch..." he grunted, thinking of poor Duboiss' stallionhood.

"I can think of several people that could benefit from being gelded actually..." She half joked.

"I better not be one of them" Gunther choked.

She rolled her eyes, giving a short smile. At least she seemed to be getting on with someone else in her squad. Petra liked her, Gunther seemed to like her, since he was talking to her. Erd seemed to like her too, although, he looked like he would like anyone. Auruo seemed to like not getting on with anyone, in a mad attempt to act like Corporal Levi, which didn't work. Mikasa suspected he was fond of Petra, but she wouldn't judge yet. And then there was that dispicable Corporal, he most certainly didn't like her, and probably never would. She suspected they were too alike and they collided in their stubborn, withdrawn natures. He was a dick, that definately needed gelded.

 _"Dubois..."_ she growled, pulling up the reins. Her horse was shaking his head and jumping around aggressively, trying to pull away from the group.

"You okay there, Mikasa?" Petra looked back, hearing her struggle to control her beast.

"My horse... He's having issues."

"He's probably picking that up from you" Auruo teased.

"Oh shut up..." Mikasa snarled, pulling Dubois back into line.

"Give him a kick" Levi ordered, looking over at her in annoyance.

She quickly kicked into his flanks and his head lifted, eyes peeking back at her. He seemed to obey her, although was still acting over excited about something.

"We're almost there" Erd called back, keeping his eyes at the road ahead of them.

...

Armin sat in his bed, writing on some paper he had requested from the doctor. He leaned against the wooden bedside table, holding the pen to his mouth in thought. He was writing a letter, to someone rather unexpected, and he had no real clue what to write. He sighed, looking up and around the room for ideas.

"Oi, Armin. You doing alright there?" Reiner called from the doorway, Bertholdt walking in behind him.

"I'm feeling better" he nodded, turning back to see them more clearly, and to not be rude.

"Sorry we didn't come see you earlier" Bertholdt added, lowering his head apologetically. Although, he still looked tall as hell.

"It's okay" Armin offered a smile.

"Mind if we visit for a little while?" Reiner asked, walking closer anyway.

Armin shook his head, sitting the pen down on the table and turned to sit so that he was facing them. "Aren't you guys missing training? It's only noon."

"Trying to get rid of us?" Reiner joked, sitting at the bed opposite him. Bertholdt sat beside him quickly after, resting his hands between his legs sluggishly.

"No, no" he raised his hands in apology. "I just thought you might get in trouble..."

"To be honest, we woke up not long ago, we'd already be in trouble so we thought we might as well check up on you while we're at it" Reiner leaned back, making himself more comfortable.

Armin grew suspicious, Reiner was always a dutiful sort of person, the good soldier. Something must have been up for him to be acting differently. "Did you not get enough sleep last night?"

Reiner hesitated, sharing a glance with Bertholdt.

"We were up talking all night, about old times" Bertholdt spoke slowly, staring down at Armin.

Armin cocked a brow, but didn't speak.

"Is that Mikasas' scarf?" Reiner noted, pointing his head toward his neck.

Armin reached for it, touching the old, soft farbic. "Y-yeah, I think she thought I'd get well sooner if I had it..."

"Hey, she wouldn't happen to be that violent girl you were sleeping with, would she?" Reiner sniggered.

Armin looked away, hiding the tint in his cheeks. "It wasn't like that, nothing happened..."

Reiner exchanged another look with his old friend, but it seemed he was the only one amused in the room. He sighed "if you say so, Armin."

There was a stagnant pause and the three sat there in silence.

"Are you writing something?" Bertholdt asked, looking over at the paper and pen.

Armin looked up and his smile returned. He reached over and grabbed the pen and paper, showing them what he had wrote "Jean was writing to Marco a little while ago, and I got thinking maybe I should write to Annie. She was always by herself, I thought a letter might be nice for her."

Reiner burst out laughing, holding his hand over his mouth so he wouldn't spit over them.

Bertholdt let out a smile and took the paper, reading it.

_Dear Annie._

_This is Armin, I was just wanting to say hello and maybe cheer you up. The Scouting Legion is good so far, we're heading out on an expedition soon, so I thought I should write to you before then, just in case. Everyone is coping, although you know I can't help but worry. Connie and Sasha have pretty much become attatched at the hip and acting more and more strange. No change there though, right?_

"Annie isn't the most social girl in the world, you know. I wouldn't suggest sending her a letter." Bertholdt looked up, holding Armins' saddened gaze.

"I was just worried, if I joined the Military Police, it would be nice to hear from my friends, especially if they joined the Legion..."

"She probably wouldn't" Bertholdt tried to convince him, knowing that they were going through enough struggle without having to deal with someone caring about them. It made it that bit more difficult.

Armin shifted uncomfortably, frowning down at his feet.

"You what that girl's like, she's a tough one..." Reiner added, scratching his head.

"Were you guys close?" Armin asked, glancing up.

They paused, then Reiner answered "Berty here had a mad crush on her, did ever since he met her" pointing at his friend with his thumb.

Bertholdt turned away from them both, avoiding eye contact.

"See? He's shy about it" Reiner joked, looking back to Armin.

"So you were close" Armin nodded, taking note.

Reiner and Bertholdt looked at him questioningly, both hiding their concern that Armin was slowly working it out.

"I... I don't really know what to write to her, I was wondering if you could help...?" Armin shyly asked.

"Sure, whatever." Reiner folded his arms, glancing over to Bertholdt, who looked down at the floor. "Tell her your in love with her or something" he teased.

"I have a feeling she would rip up the letter if I wrote that..." Armin blushed, laughing.

"She'd rip it up regardless" he added, but halted his teasing when he saw Armin sadden once more. He felt quite guilty, Armin was a little trooper, he didn't need to be shot down by them. "Sorry" He said in an honest tone, it was their fault, for it all. He couldn't say that to him, he couldn't tell him their secret.

"We should probably go" Bertholdt grasped Reiners' arm and pulled him up. "Just write whatever comes to mind, she won't mind, she prefers an honest opinion, even when she doesn't like it."

...

"Two ten metres on the right, one siz metre straight ahead" Gunther noted, pushing his the top front botton of his gears' handle, forcing the grappling hooks to staple into a new tree, he pushing the metal bar in with his thumb, forcing the gas to push him forward. "six metre is mine"

"Petra, with me" Erd called, heading toward the two ten metre practice dummies. Petra followed, extending her swords.

Mikasa passed them, hooking onto tree after tree. She spotted another ten metre class, and headed straight for it.

Auruo smashed into her as she nearly hit the nape of the neck, and they both collided into a nearby tree. Their gear hooked into the bark on time, and they hung in suspension before they could fall a final five metres to the forest floor.

"Watch where you're going!" Auruo barked.

Levi landed on a branch above them, and stared down. "Ackerman, you need to keep an eye out. If Auruo were an Abnormal, you'd be dead."

"I know!" She yelled back at him and took off again, back into action.

Levi took after her, keeping a short distance behind her. "Fifteen metre class, hard left."

She looked to her left, seeing the oversized dummy. She headed for it instantly.

"It's mine" Levi warned, passing her with ease. He landed a blow at the back of its' neck, cutting deep and into the wood.

She growled and headed past it, searching for another target.

Levi kept following, annoyed at the idea she wasn't taking in everything she was being taught. He'd tried teaching her to keep an eye out for her squad mates, tried making her work with them and tried making her understand she had backup. It didn't seem to sink in. Maybe she would start cooperating if she worked with someone she was closer to.

"Petra!" He called, and quickly she arrived.

"Sir?" She made to dodge a tree, and they separated for a moment.

"Work with Ackerman, and make sure she gets it this time."

"Yes, sir!" She smiled, and headed after Mikasa.

Levi still followed, but kept more of a distance to observe the new plan of action.

"Mikasa, ten metre on your right" Petra said, making sure Mikasa knew.

She nodded and headed for it, Petra following closely. With one quick slash, Mikasa finally got one. It was almost like they had all been trying to keep her from getting a hit all day. Gunther and Petra seemed to avoid her, Erd was more of an encouraging challenge, but Corporal Levi and Auruo had been making sure her training today was hell. Stealing her kills and making sure she didn't get a single hit.

"Mikasa, there's another to the left! Cover me!" Petra called, heading toward another dummy, this time it was a 13 metre.

She followed her closely, and watched her make the kill.

Levi nodded, the new plan seemed to work, mainly because Petra was pretty easy to work with on a team. He needed to make sure his plan was working. He pulled down the gas bar with his thumb, pushing himself toward them faster. He charged into Petra and grabbed her, and she let out a scream before realising who it was.

Mikasa glided forward and kicked Levi away, he of course let go without strain or being harmed. Petra maneuvered onto another tree and headed up onto a tall branch. Mikasa followed, standing next to her "you okay?" Petra nodded with a smile.

Levi flew past them, making sure that they saw him.

"What was the hell was that about?" Mikasa growled.

"I think he's pretending to be an Abnormal..." Petra suggested.

"So we should cut him down, right?" Mikasa watched him as his silhouette flashed through the trees, barely even visible.

Petra grimaced at the sadistic look on Mikasas' face, realising she was only half joking when she spoke. "We need to work together, and find the others. Levi won't make it easy for us to win, so we need everyone. And let me say this... Please don't try and kill him... In fact, we should put away our blades, just in case. Just punch, kick, shove and smack him with the back of the handle."

Mikasa looked at her a moment, noticing that she had called him by his name instead of the usual 'Corporal'. She shrugged it off and nodded, sheathing her blades back into the black boxes, releasing them as she pressed the second trigger.

"We should separate, he'll go after one of us and the other can find the rest of the squad" Petra spoke, as they left the 'safety' of the branch.

Petra took to the right, and Mikasa to the left. And of course, Levi went after Mikasa, knowing Petra was headed in the direction of their squad.

She glanced back to see where he was, but caught no sight of him. She looked back ahead of her. He was right in front of her, halted at a tree. She quickly spun around him, avoiding his attack. She scanned around the trees, searching for Levi and her squad, with no luck in finding either.

Levi charged into her, hitting her against a tree. She pushed at him, and got her right arm free. She quickly hit the handle of her gear into his back. He released, allowing her to get away for a headstart.

Her heart was racing, this was a different sort of training. But no doubt she was enjoying it, being able to hit the Corporal she oh so disliked.

"Mikasa!" Petra called, heading in her direction, the rest of the squad around her, with their blades also sheathed.

Mikasa caught up to them and they retained an almost circular formation and they rushed up the trees onto high branches.

Erd took charge as soon as he saw they were all ready for a plan "stay on your toes, and keep your eyes open!" He jumped from his perch, and everyone followed.

"Trust us, okay, Mikasa? We have to work together" Petra looked over to Mikasa, before they both jumped, following behind Gunther.

"Movement at my left!" Erd yelled, causing Auruo to race in that direction, Petra following. Gunther stuck beside Mikasa and indicated for her to follow him forward in the opposite direction.

She followed, trying to comply to what Petra requested.

Auruo and Petra went after Levi, he attacked Auruo, and Petra shifted behind him, readying a strike. Levi turned to her, moving to attack her instead, but Auruo hit into his back with his handles. They herded him in the direction of the others this way. He spooted Erd in front of a tree, and charged for him, who dodged, sprinting upward. Mikasa and Gunther rushed at him from behind the tree, lifting their empty handles to strike. He dodged them easily, pulling himself to a hard right and spun back around, hitting Gunther blindingly. He readied to attack Mikasa again, she dodged, releasing her hooks from the tree and allowing herself to fall.

Levi looked down, and landed onto the tree they were hiding behind. He watched Mikasa hook to a nearby tree and head towards it, he made chase once more.

They continued to exhaust this plan through the entire rest of the day. Levi was satisfied it helped, Mikasa was slowly working more and more with her team at least, and letting out her aggression. Now all they needed was real Titans to practice with, that would be better practice than having dummies and a Corporal hunting after them.


	20. Tension

"Well then, how about steak? No, no no! Venison! Or even pork, or just ham? Or-"

"Stop it, Connie! I'M FREAKING STARVING!" Sasha screamed up to the roof of the stables, where Connie, herself and several others were grooming the untacked horses after a day of working them. "I'm gonna eat this horse is you keep mentioning meat!" She pushed her hand onto her palomino mares' neck.

"Whoa whoa whoa, fine, not meat then. How about toasted bread covered in cheese, onion and mushrooms? No, no, I got it... something sweet, like chocolate!" Connie dug through the recesses of his mind, picturing the most brilliant of feasts. He didn't at first intend on torturing Sasha with the distant idea of food they knew they couldn't have. It wasn't like he wasn't dying a little inside either from the thought, but the look on Sashas' face made the drooling torment worth mentioning.

 _"Connie... Please stop it!"_ She cried, clasping the sides of her head in despair, covering her ears from his words.

He sniggered to himself, looking away from her and at his black stallion, brushing down his thick neck. A brush hit his shaved head, hard and sore. He yelped, gripping the new bruise. "OW...!"

She pouted, folding her arms across her chest. A wet sponge slapped her in the face. "AH!" She yelped in surprise.

"That's what you get!" Connie grinned.

She snarled playfully and picked up a long brush that was used to sweep the floors, pointing it at him as though he were a filthy stray dog. "It's on,  _Con!"_

He picked up the bucket of water he was using to wash down his darkened steed, holding it in front of him in a sly manner. "Come at me!" He challenged.

And she charged with the brush extended in his direction, trying to hit him with the sharp row of bristles on the end. He dodged her assault, running out of the stall with some of the overflowing water spilling out of the bucket. "I'm gonna soak you!" He warned, laughing.

"I'll smack you!" She retorted, charging after him.

They ran down the hall in a playful dog fight with the bucket and brush, trying to hit each other with their alternative weaponry.

Ymir and Christa were at the end of the hall, brushing their own horses down, when they both were nearly hit by the two playful idiots.

Ymir dodged without hesitance or failure, remaining unscathed from the insanity racing up and down the hallway. Christa however, was knocked back onto her bottom as they passed by.

"Oww..." She moaned quietly, picking herself up to rub her sore rear.

"Christa?" Ymir asked, raising a worried brow from the stall opposite, with a noticable tang of aggression roaming the air she breathed.

"I'm alright" she smiled nervously, wary of the feeling she knew well from her friend.

"Hey, cut it out!" Ymir barked, baring her teeth.

Connie and Sasha ignored her, but took their fun outside, where the sun was slowly starting to set. Sasha chased after Connie, who still carried the bucket that was now half empty, he looked back to see where she was. He failed to notice what was in front of him, before he tripped into it, with the bucket flying out of his hold.

He dared to look up from where he fell, seeing two soldiers with the crest of the Military Police, still at HQ investigating the Titan murders.

"What the fuck?!" The taller blonde man snarled, looking down at his soaked uniform.

"It's one of those Scouts" his black haired friend growled, pulling at his wet jacket.

"I uh-" Connie was at a loss for words, he couldn't get up, dwarfed by the two older soldiers that glared down at him with rifles readying to fire in their eyes.

"Connie" Sasha spoke a little louder than usual, but it wasn't quite a shout. She shifted closer, stepping at his side, looking from him to both the Military Police soldiers and back again with frigid nervousness.

"I should beat you for this!" The black haired soldier spat, swinging his foot forward to kick into Connies' shoulder. He swayed from side to side, face flushed with the faint whiff of alcohol. Connie held his hands over his head to protect his head, he gasped, sucking in a sharp yelp.

"Wait, stop!" Christa pleaded, running out and over to the three. She stood between the two men, and Connie and Sasha, holding her hands up in surrender. "Please, I'm sure this was all an accident, a misunderstanding!" She tried to reason, looking up at them with her big blue eyes.

They looked down at Connie and Sasha with daggers in their eyes, nearly biting their own tongue in disgust, but the daggers were sheathed when they caught full sight of Christa. They hesitated, but didn't back off.

"We're very sorry" she added, her eyes pleading up at them.

The two men shared a glance, biting their lips and letting out low, frustrated growls.

"Oi, back off" Ymir spat, walking closer slowly with an ominous shadow draped over her face, hiding her hardened glare. She stopped beside Christa and they backed off a couple of steps, taking the hint of controlled rage. "Or do you want that picnic of yours to be mentioned to someone..."

They pulled back, staring down at her in rage and fear. She hinted behind them, where a slightly opened crate of stolen food and alcohol was hidden.

"I can only imagine what a commanding officer would do to his subordinates when they act like disobedient dogs."

"What?-" The blondes' voice shivered.

"We'll just beat the shit out of you as well..." The other man hissed.

"Oh?" Ymir grinned, lifting her head higher. "I don't believe it! You're shivering and everything! I haven't even done anything to you yet..."

"Please, we are sorry, we won't bother you anymore..." Christa begged again, holding onto Ymirs' arm so she wouldn't attack them, although it was unlikely to hold her back if she did decide to beat them. The men caught Christas' eyes, sweet and glistening. Then they looked back at Ymirs' fiery orbs, readying to exert hell upon their souls.

"Get out of here" they spat, relaxing their aggressive stance a notch.

Christa and Sasha helped Connie up and they hurried back to the stables, Ymir following after.

"Fucking bitch..." One of the men growled under their breath, but Ymir heard it, looking back with a sadistic glint of pleasured conspiracy.

Upon entry of the stables, Christa checked Connie over for injury, he held his shoulder in pain.

"Connie, does it hurt?" Christa tried to lift his hand to check, but he pulled away from her.

"It's fine! Just a little sting, that's all" he assured her.

Sasha lowered her head apologetically to him.

Ymir entered, and glared down at them all, critically.

"Thanks Ymir" Connie nodded, offering a smile.

She rolled her eyes towards Christa. "I wasn't helping  _you_ " she answered him.

"Oh... Of course not" he looked away, losing the smile.

"We could always get revenge on them..." Ymir suggested, grinning again.

"Ymir?" Christa looked up questioningly.

"Yeah, I actually agree with you there" Connie looked at Ymir with a glint of vengeance in his eyes.

"Let's steal their haul" she suggested "free food and drink. Lucky for you kids, I can get those those things without them ever knowing what hit them... But, I'm going to need a distraction."

"What are you on about?" Connie rubbed at his still aching shoulder.

"Free food?" Sasha lifted herself up, a glint of excitement spread across her features.

Ymir sighed, leaning her hand on her hip.

"Maybe you could just beat them up... You know, you're pretty tough, Ymir..." Connie cocked a brow.

"That's not as fun though... I want to see their faces when they realise they've been had. Drunken idiots..."

"I could-" Christa began.

"You" Ymir booped Christas' nose with her finger "are not getting near them again."

Christa rubbed her nose, looking up shyly in frustration. "Why?"

"You saw the way they were looking at you..."

She looked away, hiding her bubbling red cheeks. Knowing she got those looks from a lot of people. Including Ymir.

"You want me to annoy them... Don't you...?" Connie lowered in both mood and stance.

"Of course not! You're a little shrimp compared to them! We'll have like ten seconds before they turn back from your bloodied corpse!"

He growled, looking away from her.

"Me?" Sasha pointed at herself, eyes open wide with anticipation.

"Right on the money, potato girl" Ymir grinned.

"What is Sasha gonna do?" Connie looked back between Sasha and Ymir, curious and still worried by the devious womans' plan.

"Use her feminine charm. What else?"

Sasha looked confused, and Connie jumped in surprise, trying not to laugh  _"Sasha?"_

"Maybe, let your hair loose and get rid of the jacket..." Ymir grabbed Sasha by the shoulders and swung her around, undoing her high ponytail to let her cherry brown hair fall past her shoulders.

"You're serious?!" Connie gasped.

Sasha looked back nervously, trying to understand what was going on. Ymir removed her jacket and tossed it on her arm lazily. Sasha turned around hesitantly, eyes still wide.

"Do you want the food, Sasha?" Ymir asked, teasingly.

"Yes!" Sasha nodded vigorously.

"Ymir, this isn't right..." Christa intruded.

"Oh come on, it's not like she'll end up in trouble or anything. You're alright with this, right Sasha?"

Sasha was ready to nod, but Connie planted his hand on her shoulder. "Do you know what she's telling you to do?"

"Distract the soldiers?"

"Uhuh... By?"

She raised a brow, looking around for answers, but finding none. She shrugged, lifting her hands to emphasise the empty space in her mind.

"Ymir..." Connie warned.

"Okay, Sasha. Go out there, flutter your eyes at them, play with your hair and start by saying something like...  _'Sorry about earlier, our monkey is an useless idiot, not like you two big boys...'_  yeah something like that. Got it?" Ymir emphasised the quote with a low, suggestive tone.

"I... uh..." Sasha slowly understood, on as innocent a level as she would allow herself.

"Don't you want the food, Sasha? Who knows what food they have in there... Meat maybe?" Ymir flashed another sly smirk, moving closer to Sasha.

Sasha looked down thoughtfully and then nodded "Yes!"

"Ymir..." Connie judged her wicked trickery.

"Oh shut up, monkey... Now off you go, Sasha!" Ymir encouraged Sasha onward, pushing her out the stables.

Sasha walked slowly back to where the two men were, fumbling her hands behind her back. She refused the thoughts within her head that Ymir suggested to her, she wanted the food and the food she would get. She just had to be... charming?

"E-excuse me?" She looked at them with near wide eyes, focusing on the food she was promised.

"Huh? Oh, you, you after a beating are you?" The brown haired man turned to her, adopting an aggressive stance as he stood above her height, if but a few inches.

She closed her eyes and remembered what Ymir told her to say "I, I'm sorry about earlier, our monkey is a useless idiot..." Her voice couldn't reach the low tone Ymirs' did, but at least she remembered them. Although, she struggled to remember the last part. "Big boys" she said as though it were a foreign language.

The two men paused, looking at one another. "Whatever, now, beat it before you get yourself hurt."

She opened her eyes, looking up with surprise, she couldn't give up, she needed the food. She began playing with a lock of hair.  _Improvise..._  she told herself. "I... I'm a girl."

They stared down at her, half in disbelief and confusion. "Yeah... I can see that."

It wasn't working, what else did Ymir say? She fluttered her eyes, and then shook herself from side to side happily, and quite nervously, hoping it would work.

"Um..." They looked down at her, beginning to sway in time with her, thinking of what she was doing. "What are  _you_  so happy about?"

Her smile grew and she nudged herself forward, thinking of the food, the  _juicy steak_ , the  _smooth_   _chocolate_ , the  _toasted bread_.

It idea dawned on them, and they took a step back, cautious of what they should do.

She walked around them, and their eyes followed, until they turned their backs to the crate.

Ymir crept towards it, keeping low to the ground, she tucked her hand into the crate and began picking away at the treats inside. She tucked several small bottles of wine in her jacket pockets, down her shirt, and into her boots. She found the food, picking up chunks of pork, boiled potatoes and bread. She carried them in her arms and crept back towards the stables.

Sasha began to play with her hair nervously again, she didn't like it down, it got in the way.

"What do you want?" One of them asked.

She shrugged, using too much energy in the simple gesture.

"Oi, Sasha! Hurry up, we're done here!" Connie called out, hoping to get her away from them before they were caught out. "We're heading for dinner soon!"

Sasha burst forward, jumping over the two men, using them like a fence or rock to jump over. "FOOD!" She cheered, running towards the stables.

"What the  _fuck_  was that about?"

"I dunno... Weird buggers here, right?"

"Yeah... Let's hurry up, we might get caught by someone important..."

"Hey! Where's it gone?!"

"You drank it, didn't you?!" He accused his friend.

" _NO_ , you probably did, dick!"

"I'm gonna kick your ass, man!"

Inside the stables, Sasha rushed around frantically, eager to eat her prize. But Ymir shook her head "that was boring... I was expecting something a lot more out of you, potato girl..."

"Ymir!" Connie yelled, waving his arms to emphasise his detest.

"Oh, calm down... You can have some, have a party or something... But I want half for the effort I put in."

"Fine, fine..."

"I need to ditch this in my room though, don't want to get caught with it, or for it to get all dirty in this place..."

"So you want us to finish up your work here?"

"Yepp" she smiled "I'll leave half of this in your room, don't worry. I always keep my word... Come on, Christa."

"But-"

"Come on" Ymir took her arm and looked down at her with care. "They don't mind, do you?"

"It's alright, Christa, just go" Connie sighed, heading for the horses.

Reluctantly, Christa left with Ymir.

"Hey, Sasha, here's your jacket, and your hair... thing" Connie handed her the items that he picked up from a small seat.

She took them, and stood still, staring. "But, what about the food?"

He frowned "don't worry, we'll head straight back and get the food then, alright?"

She nodded, pouting sadly.

...

"Did you enjoy training today, Mikasa?" Petra turned her head to Mikasa happily.

They walked towards the infirmary to visit Armin, after having an ordered shower that they admitted they needed badly from the sweat they produced during the days training. They wore their casual attire, Petra in a white shirt and tan skirt, Mikasa in a white shirt and red blouse and near black pants.

Mikasa shrugged a reply, too focused on getting to Armin.

"I don't think we've had that kind of training in a while, was kind of fun actually..." She smiled, tangling her fingers behind her back.

"Fun?" Mikasa asked slowly.

She giggled "yes, you finally started working with us."

"Oh."

"I mean, I understand you're strong, Mikasa and I don't know how many Titans you've killed so far, by yourself I assume. But we need to work together, trust each other, you know?"

Mikasa looked to her side, locking eyes with Petra. She nodded, giving her a half smile.

They found the infirmary, but found it empty. Mikasa quickly scanned around the room, looking for hints of life. She found none, and her breathing hitched. "Armin?"

There was no answer.

"He's probably feeling better, maybe he's gone for dinner?" Petra encouraged, turning to leave.

"Yes, he must be... That's good then" she followed.

...

They neared the mess hall.

"Hey, Mikasa?" Petra asked, hoping she would listen to her.

"Yes?"

"You really should trust Corporal Levi as well. I know you don't get on with him" she reasoned.

Mikasa sighed at the thought "you might jinx it... He'll be around the corner if you mention him."

"He's not all that bad, you know" she laughed, despite knowing Mikasa never really meant it as a joke.

"I don't doubt that, I just get a bad feeling from him, reminds me of something I try not to remember. I can't shake the feeling off..." Mikasa tried to explain, blocking the memories.

"He gives everybody a bad feeling..." She admitted, trying not to pry any more as she noticed the sad look on Mikasas face.

They entered the mess hall and Mikasa quickly found Armin in the crowd, sat beside Jean as usual. Mikasa near enough ran in his direction, slamming her hands onto the table, causing Armin and Jean to jump in surprise.

"M-Mikasa?" Armin stuttered.

Mikasa looked down at him, smiling as she saw her scarf still wrapped around his neck.

Armin saw her eyes wander to his neck and he reached for it "oh..." He unwrapped it and offered it out to her.

"Are you feeling better?" She asked.

He nodded "I still have a sore head, but I'm alright."

She took the scarf and wrapped it back around him, covering his face with it "keep it for now."

"Hey, Mikasa. Everybody's going up to Connie and Sashas' room, you coming?" Jean asked, glancing down at Armin as he fixed the scarf around his neck again. He shook his tan eyes back up to Mikasas, awaiting her very important answer, which would dictate whether or not he would go to the little get together.

They caught sight of Petra, who walking over to stand next to Mikasa.

"Maybe" Mikasa answered, looking down at Armin.

"I think it'd be nice for us all to hang out again, like back in Training" Armin said, giving a smile.

"Mind if I tag along?" Petra asked happily, knowing she would have to follow Mikasa around anyway, at least until she went to her room to sleep, as Lance Corporal Levi ordered. She didn't really mind, Mikasa was nice, although, she hoped they wouldn't stay up too late, she wanted to sleep soon.

"Nobody will mind" Mikasa assured, knowing Petra was charged with keeping an eye on her. At least she was being followed by the kind hearted Petra, and not by the detestable Corporal Levi. "Who is all going?" She sat opposite Jean and Armin, Petra sitting down as well.

"Well, obviously Connie and Sasha will be there. I'm going, Jean?" Armin turned to his friend.

"I'll be going" Jean answered, smiling, intending it to reach the raven haired girl opposite him, although he didn't dare look at her for fear of her uncaring stare.

"Alright, I know Reiner and Bertholdt said they would go, I think Christa convinced Ymir to go. That's everyone I know about" Armin finished, folding his arms on the table in front of him.

"Sounds like fun" Petra smiled, looking around at the three around the table.

...

The group walked down the hall. Ymir lead the way, with Christa by her side, followed by Jean, Mikasa, Armin and Petra, with Reiner and Bertholdt at the back.

"You have quite a few friends, Mikasa" Petra noted out loud, looking around at everyone.

Mikasa raised a brow at her, as if questioning whether or not it was an insult.

"I didn't mean to sound surprised, it's just, you're really withdrawn..." Petra frowned, trying to smile her way back into Mikasas' good side.

She hummed, looking down.

"This is us!" Ymir shouted back at them, opening the door she stopped in front of.

From inside they could hear Connie and Sasha singing, their voices were clearly off tune, and swaying.

_"O, mein Freund!_ _Jetzt hier ist ein Sieg._ _Dies ist der erste Gloria._ _O, mein Freund!_ _Feiern wir diesen Sieg, für den-"_

"Everybody!" They called over to their friends, standing on one of the two beds.

"Are you guys drunk already?" Ymir walked over and sat on the bed, picking up a bottle for herself.

Everybody hovered at the door, but quickly Christa shuffled over beside Ymir, and Reiner and Bertholdt went over to stand at the end of the bed where Connie and Sasha stood. Reiner took a bottle, and opened it, but didn't drink it.

"We aren't drunk!" Connie exclaimed, jumping down from the bed.

"Of course you aren't, monkey" Ymir took a drink, rolling her eyes over to Christa, who pulled her knees up to her chest.

"Everybody, come take a seat, have a drink. We  _did_  have food as well" he looked over to a bubbling Sasha, who fell onto the bed sheepishly "but  _someone_  ate it all."

Mikasa went over to sit beneath the window, between the two beds. Petra followed, sitting against the bed where Sasha was, while Jean took the sitting beside her against the bed where Ymir and Christa sat. Armin followed, sitting beside Petra.

"Where'd you hear that song before?" Armin asked, looking at Connie as he sat beside Sasha on the bed.

"We umm... We heard some soldier singing it to himself earlier, one of the uh... Squad Leaders... I think..." he grinned.

"The Wings of Freedom?" Petra asked, remembering the tune, she began to hum it to herself, shaking her index finger in time with each note. "Now that one I know, sort of... Wow, that's an old song" she gasped, trying to remember the words.

"It's about the Scouting Legion, I'm guessing? 'Cause of the title and the crests?" Jean asked, grabbing a bottle himself.

"Yeah, seriously old song, from back in the early days of the Legion" she nodded.

Jean took a drink, but spat it back out with a pained expression "what the hell! How can you guys drink this?!"

"It 'ad a bit'r like taste to begin with, but it really does get  _better_!" Sasha giggled, rolling down and onto her belly.

"Just drink up,  _Jean_ " Ymir teased, pronouncing his name like 'Jeen'.

He growled " _Jean..."_ He forced himself to swallow some.

Reiner and Bertholdt sat down closer, leaning against the beds, opposite one another. Reiner took a drink, and hid a ragged cough.

"Poor  _little_  Reiner, can't handle it?" Ymir tried another tease, receiving no reaction but a cocky grin from him.

"So why did you all join the Legion anyway?" Petra tried to converse, hugging her knees.

Nobody answered her, looking away from one another.

"I want to be able to help, I couldn't get into the Military Police, I didn't reach the top ten... And I couldn't join the Stationary Guard, I just, thought it would be better here. I'd be more useful, somehow. I always wanted to see the outside world too... That's pretty much how it all started. Staying inside the walls feels wrong, like being in a cage, almost." Armin explained, hoping to satisfy the silence.

"I want to help too, help my friends." Christa added with a sense of sweet duty.

"I've just found myself here, I guess" Ymir hushed, keeping the bottle on her bottom lip.

Mikasa picked up a bottle herself, opening it with a light pop. She brought it to her lips and took a small sip, with a bitter expression on her face.

"I don't even know why I joined! Why did I?" Connie questioned, scratching his bald head.

"Me either, like... I dunno!" Sasha cried, remembering when they had to choose branches.

There was a silence between them as they heard Sasha whine. Connie shook her, and she nearly fell off the bed onto Petra, but regained her balance on time.

Jean began to speak, in a serious tone "I wanted to join the Military Police, was dead set on it from the very beginning. I suppose, I don't want them all to die in vain, don't really want what happened in Trost to happen again... It's not like I'm not afraid." He took another drink. "I can't really believe I actually joined, even now." He sighed, drowning out the thoughts.

Petra looked down at her feet "I joined three years ago, I was an idiot back then, my dad calls me starry eyed. I believed there was a hope, a victory waiting to happen. Admiration for, to be honest. I was scared too, but I believe things will be alright in the end."

"Three years? Long time." Jean said, hinting at his surprise for such a long survival.

"Not as long as some, but I've gotten by this long because of those I trust, my comrades, my superiors, my friends. A little bit of faith can go a long way" she smiled at him, encouragingly. "Even if you have reason to hate some of the idiots around here..." She joked.

Reiner and Bertholdt shared a glance, both thinking the same thing. Reiner took another drink, giving a light hearted chuckle to let something out that wasn't as guilty or dejected as he felt. "Sounds encouraging" he stated, voice low.

"I'm glad you think so" Petra smiled to him, and his eyes looked elsewhere.

"Pass me 'nother bottle, will ya?" Sasha pulled her arms out, trying to reach the bottles.

"Uh... sure" Armin said, then picked up another bottle and passed it to her.

"Cheers, cheers, Armino!" She laughed, drinking up the bottle as though she were a baby with a bottle of milk.

Jean and Mikasa drank at the same time. Then shared a glance.

"Cheers?" He offered his bottle up, and she nodded, tapping her bottle against his. "Cheers."

Armin looked over, worried. Mikasa never drank, well, to be fair, they never received the opportunity... But it still didn't seem right for her to drink. Peer pressure? Perhaps bad memories she wanted rid of. He tried to conclude, he'd make sure she got back to her room okay though.

"J'ai toujours voulu vous tuer, vous savez?" Jean spoke with a light tint to his face, directing the strange speech towards Mikasa.

Everyone stared at him as though he were possessed by a Titans' ghost.

"Hey, uh, Jean? You really can't handle a little bit of wine?" Ymir rolled her eyes.

"Go 'ome, ya drunk!" Sasha yelled and burst into little giggles.

"I'm not drunk" Jean spoke in as steady a tone as he could manage. "It's an old language, my mother taught it to me. It's  _French_. I am  _French_ ,  _français."_

 _"_ What the hell is  _French_?" Connie asked, throwing his head as he spoke.

"A race of people, a language..." Jean tried to explain.

"I've heard of it" Armin spoke up for his friend.

Sasha suddenly jumped up from the bed and charged for the door, nearly tripping over Armin and Reiner. She slammed the door behind her as she left.

"Sasha?" Connie questioned, as though she could somehow hear it from a distance of walls and doors, like a secret friendship telepathy. "Sasha?!" He made for the door, opening it.

"I'll help you" Reiner made to stand, following behind, closing the door behind him.

"I hope Sasha's alright..." Christa nearly whispered, pressing her hands against the bed sheets.

"Maybe the wine is making her feel sick" Petra added, hoping for the best.

"She probably ate twice her weight in food too..." Jean said, taking another drink.

"Connie and Reiner will take care of her" Armin said as a matter of fact. "She'll be fine."

Bertholdt looked around, feeling uncormfortable without his old friend in the room. He just had to be the good guy? The hero? He sighed inwardly, looking down at his feet, knowing his friend just wanted to feel something positive. He was too nice for his own good sometimes.

...

Mike travelled down the hallway, heading back to his bedroom to finally get some sleep. Erwin had kept him at the office late, concerning the upcoming expedition, not that he minded, he liked Erwin and his scentless company. He yawned, picturing his sweet, comfy bed.

His nose twitched, catching a faint tang of alcohol and vomit. He travelled further down the hall, finding one of the new recruits, sitting next to a pool of her own sick. He raised a brow at her, seeing her look up stupidly.

"You... You remind me of my third... no, no... fifth husband!" The brunette girl cheered, trying to stand, but failed.

"Do I?" He humored her, leaning down. He resisted the urge to leave, as the smell was strong, hitting not his nose now, but deep in his brain, as though he had eaten a bowl of wasabi. He moved a few inches closer, getting a better smell. He looked away and smirked. "Come on" he insisted in helping her up, hooking her arm around his shoulders.

"You're such a sweet young man, Barry" her toothy grin widened.

"Alright, let's find your room" he laughed to himself at the recruits' alcohol driven mind.

She burst out laughing as he carried her through the halls.

"Sasha!" Connie called, sprinting towards them, he froze when he saw Mike, frightened by the idea of being caught.

"Sasha, is it?" Mike asked. "I assume you're up to no good, both of you?" He gestured to Reiner who stood behind Connie, also worried.

"We uh..." Connie tried to speak.

"Con! This is Barry, he's helping me back to my room!" Sasha smiled.

"My name isn't Barry, if you remember" Mike stated, knowing Sashas' two friends had also been drinking. Was it wine? Smelt like wine.

"Umm..." Connie tried again nervously.

"Do you know where her room is?" Mike asked.

"Yes, she's with me" Connie replied.

Mike let out a short laugh "what ever happened to gender seperated dorms? Nobody seems to get it nowadays..."

He moved closer, taking a sniff at Connie, then another at Reiner. He smirked, noticing a faint heather scent behind the alcohol from Connie, but a strong smell of something like birch and musk from Reiner. Suspicious.

"Alright, lead the way" he gestured for them to go.

"I could carry her, sir" Reiner suggested.

"I'd like to make sure she gets back personally, please don't take offence."

...

"Petra Ral?" Mike was surprised to see Petra, surprised to see a party going on as well.

"Sir?!" Petra jumped, surprised to see Mike.

"I found her in one of the upper halls" he lead Sasha over to the bed, she was of course sleeping at this point.

"Is she alright?" Petra asked.

"Might not be tomorrow morning" he smirked, lying her on the bed. "Wine?" He turned to look at them all.

"We were just heading back to our rooms, actually..." Petra giggled nervously.

"Oh?" Mike smiled, knowing who had and hadn't drank. "That sounds best, I'll be leaving then." With that, he left the room with hesitation.

"We should all go now, before any more harm is done" Petra suggested, looking down at Mikasa.

She nodded to her, getting up with a sudden feeling of unsteadiness.

Armin got up too, holding her arm so she wouldn't fall, although Mikasa wouldn't allow herself to fall anyway.

"Thanks, Armin" she smiled, holding her dizzying head.

"Come on" Petra rolled her eyes with a smile.

...

"I can walk myself" Mikasa insisted, and Armin let go cautiously, ready to help her if her body decided to collapse. "I can still control myself, don't worry."

"You sure?" Armin asked, worried.

"Yeah, I only drank one little bottle. I can still speak properly too, right? Not like Connie or Sasha?"

"The fact you have to ask, says a lot" Petra couldn't help but giggle.

She blushed, looking away "I'm fine."

They continued on, Mikasa forced her body to walk straight, and she did with the slightest wobble here and there. Until they found their room, in which she opened the door, proving her steady mind and hand-eye coordination.

"Well, I should be off to bed too, don't stay up too late. You know the Corporal will come get you..." Petra frowned, but kept her voice light and pleasant.

"Night, night" Mikasa waved her fingers, entering the room.

"Goodnight, Petra" Armin waved also, and entered the room after her.

"Night" she waved back and walked off.

...

Petra entered her room with a long sigh, leaning against the door as she closed it, eyes closed.

"Where were you?" Came a low, cocky voice.

She kept her eyes on the floor and walked towards her bed, falling onto it lazily, lying on her belly. "Mikasa went to a party..."

"Seriously?"

She turned her head from her pillow, looking over to Auruo sluggishly. "What's that?" She asked quietly.

He looked down at the paper in his hands "letter from home."

She smiled "that's nice, everything well then?"

He nodded, yawning.

"You didn't have to stay up, it's really late" she yawned herself, liting herself up to sit.

"Didn't realise, besides, you know I'm always waiting for you" he smirked.

"Uhuh" she rolled her eyes, and got up, walking over to sit next to him. "Mind if I read?" She tucked a loose lock of ginger hair behind her ear.

"Go ahead" he handed it to her, without a care.

She scanned each line, a warm smile on her face, she gave a laugh when she read what mischief his little brothers got up to every now and again. "Sweet" she said softly, thinking of her dad.

"Mhm" He hummed.

She handed the letter back to him, careful not to damage the sheets in any way, understanding the values of home. "Reminds me, I need to get to writing my dad another letter, he must be getting worried by now."

"Not tonight" he almost questioned, but made sure he said it as a statement.

"Tomorrow then, I am quite tired actually" she emphasised it by holding a hand over her mouth to yawn.

"You gonna sleep over here?" He half joked.

She rolled her eyes "just when I was getting comfy as well..." She picked herself up and went back to her bed, tucking herself under the covers. "Night, night then. Thanks for staying up." She closed her eyes and relaxed into the mattress.

"Goodnight" he replied, sitting the letters onto his bedside table.

...

"You sure you're alright, Mikasa?" Armin questioned, still standing as he watched Mikasa sit on top of her bed.

"Yes" she nodded, not tired yet, so she sat her back against the wall and played her fingers around her ends blouse.

"Okay..." He walked over to the other bed, sitting down, with his back against the wall like her. He sat in his casual clothes, white shirt, tan pants and grey cardigan.

"It's a really nice night" Mikasa spoke, wanting to talk.

"I guess?..." He was puzzled, wondering if the alcohol was beginning to talk and not his friend.

She frowned, ready to start again when a knock came at the door. She almost growled at the intruder.

"It's open!" Armin called to the door, getting up to walk over and open it. "J-Jean?"

"Uh, hey Armin" he sounded nervous.

"Is everything okay?" Armin asked, concerned.

Mikasa moved over to the edge of her bed, peeking her head forward to catch a glimpse of Jean.

"Y-yeah... I was wondering if I could see Mikasa for a few minutes?" He noticed her looking at him, and his gaze dropped to the floor.

"What do you want?" Mikasa asked, almost uncaringly, but she definitely was curious to why he'd turn up now.

"Could I talk to you, just you and me, just for a couple of minutes!" He looked up, becoming unsure of his own words.

Her dark brow arched, and she nodded "sure?" She made to stand, walking over to the door. "I'll be back in a couple of minutes, Armin, okay?" She turned to him as she spoke, and then walked out of the door, closing it behind her.

Jean stood back, giving her room, not knowing if she was going to be aggressive or not.

"Is something wrong?" She asked cooly.

"N-no, it's just..." he looked away, unable to say what he wanted to say.

"Are you drunk?" She bluntly asked.

He chuckled shyly "not that much. You?"

"Only a little" she admitted, giving a half smile.

"I didn't expect you to drink..."

She looked down "I was curious, and wanted to forget something..."

He bit his lip "sorry, if I brought that something back into mind."

"Not your fault, all mine" she looked back up. "Why did you want to see me?"

"Être stupide ..." He sighed.

"Something stupid?" She asked, tilting her head. "French, was it?"

"Y-yes. I'm just being stupid."

"I can do that too."

"What?" He almost laughed, she could be stupid too?

"I can speak a dead language."

Oh, that's what she meant. "You're oriental?"

She nodded "half Japanese."

"On your mother or fathers' side?"

Her face looked away, saddened. "Mother."

"She teach you?" He couldn't help but want to confirm.

She nodded.

"She sounds really nice" he tried to compliment.

"She was."

He pulled back, realising "I'm really sorry... I didn't mean to..."

She nodded again, looking down.

He had to change the subject, quickly, or leave.

"Is this what you wanted to talk about?"

He shook his head, feeling bad "Je devais te dire que tu es belle."

"I don't understand."

"You probably wouldn't even if I told you normally..."

She frowned, and turned to leave "I should g-"

"Wait" he grabbed the sleeve of her blouse, not wanting to leave it at that.

"Yes?" She turned back, concerned.

"I'm sorry" he replied, pulling himself slowly closer, closing the distance between them as he leaned in for a kiss.

Her eyes widened as his lips made contact with hers unexpectedly. She searched his eyes for answers, but they were forced closed. She didn't know what to do, pull away? She just couldn't do it.

He tucked his hands at her waist, and licked at her bottom lip. Her lips parted slightly, curious about this new sort of contact. His tongue slipped into her mouth, making contact with hers. She played around with the idea of what was happening, and kissed him back.

He didn't expect her to return the kiss, but enjoyed it all the same, keeping up the moment as long as he could. He made several more attacks on her mouth, trying not to let her go. She didn't reject any of them, and in fact met with the battle head on.

He reluctantly pulled away to let her breathe, panting, he wiped his mouth.

She looked down, wiping her own mouth, hiding her flustered face. "I should... Go to bed now."

He was a little disappointed, but agreed, knowing she had to go back.  _With Armin..._ he dared to growl in his mind. "Yeah, me too." He answered, releasing his hands from her hips and pulling away a few steps.

"That..." she shook her head and turned from him, curling her fingers around the doorknob.

"Goodnight, Mikasa." He said, his voice calm, but hinting at pride.

She looked back, but her hair hid her face from him "goodnight..." She opened the door and stepped inside, leaving Jean to walk away with a smile spread across his face.

 _That could've gone better... But it worked, it actually worked!_ he thought as he walked away, back to his room, forgetting his worries about Armin, he wasn't anything to worry about.

...

"Mikasa, is Jean alright?" Armin asked, sitting up on his bed with some paper and a pen lying in front of him. He moved them to the end of his bed, out of the way.

"Y-yes... He's fine" she whispered.

"Are you alright?" He became immediately worried, noticing she was avoiding all eye contact him, moving away to the opposite side of the room to sit on her bed.

"I think so" she answered shyly, finding the corner of her bed to sit in.

"What happened?" He asked, nudging from closer where he sat.

She shook her head, refusing to answer him.

He stood and moved over to sit beside her, she seemed to shuffle even closer to the wall, further away from him. He frowned, and took off the red scarf he was still wearing, offering it out to her. She grabbed it without any hesitation when she spotted it and hugged it tightly. She moved a little closer to him, with her back still against the wall. "...Can I ask you something?"

"Yes" he nodded, kneeling next to her with his hands on relaxed on his lap.

"Have you ever been kissed?" She burried her head into the scarf, hiding the embarrased look on her face.

He blushed, and jarred his head back "b-by you... That morning..."

Her head shook, whipping her silky black hair from side to side. "Not like that..." She looked up, and pointed at her lips  _"here?"_

He understood what was wrong immediately, Jean must have kissed her, finally. He looked down, thoughtful "no."

"Neither had I..." She paused, staring at the scarf unable to think properly. "I don't understand."

"Jean always liked you" he gave a light laugh.

"I know, but I... I don't get what just happened..."

"Do you think you like him?" He asked, sitting back.

She glanced up at him, looking for answers "I kissed him back."

Armin kept eye contact, keeping himself steady.

"I don't know why I did it" she began to wrap the scarf around her neck, wanting back the warmth she had missed.

"You could be a little... tipsy? I know you said you're fine but you clearing drank a little bit too much..."

"I guess I did, could that be it?" She seemed to ask herself more than him.

He smiled "maybe in the next few days you can find out, you'll see more clearly when your sober."

She smiled back at him "maybe... I feel a little bit weird."

"You mean drunk?" He rolled his eyes playfully.

"No, happy."

"And that's weird?"

"This kind of happy is... I've never felt it before, I don't think..." She whispered to the air around them, pondering the right words for the feeling she had.

"You should probably get some sleep" he frowned, starting to get up.

She pulled him back by the arm, without a word, and put her hand back onto her lap calmly when he was sitting.

He raised a brow at her, and made to stand again.

She pulled him back again, a playful look on her face.

"Mikasa..." He tried to reason, smiling at the unusual look on her face.

She didn't speak, closing her eyes and tilting her head to the side with the same smile still there.

He tried to get up.

And he got up.

He looked back at her, she was watching him intently. He cautiously walked over to his own bed, sitting down. She was still staring. "Umm..." He didn't understand what was going on.

She picked up her pillow, and tossed it at him. It hit him, and he fell back with a yelp. "Mikasa?!" He questioned her actions, trying to get up.

She pushed him back down, sitting beside him. She seemed to put in little effort in keeping him down. She let out a soft giggle.

She was playing with him, he decided. Drunk Mikasa was now a playful Mikasa? It was better than an upset Mikasa. He flung the pillow back at her, hitting her in the arm.

"Ow..." she rubbed her now sore arm.

"I'm sorry, Mika-"

She smacked him again with the pillow, laughing.

"Mikasa! That was a cheap move!" He laughed with her, weakly throwing the pillow back, not really intending to hit her.

She held the pillow a moment, then placed it on top of the one behind her gently. "Watashi wa, anatagasukidesu."

"What?" He looked at her, puzzled.

"I said that to you the day we met, do you remember? Eren want me to meet you, I wasn't all that keen... Even when I did meet you. You seemed nice though, and you were his best friend."

He frowned, searching her features. She didn't seem saddened by the mentioning of Eren, at least he couldn't see any sadness in her eyes. She was just smiling happily.

She lifted the ends of her scarf, and hit him lightly in the face with the loose ends. It tickled him, and he rubbed his nose, making her smile grow. She leaned against the wall with her legs flat against the bed, Armin sat beside her, too used to having to do so.

She leaned into his shoulder, like she had done before. She exhaled "Armin, arigatō" and began to tickle his face with the scarf once more, teasing him as though they were children again.


	21. Still Alive

The morning sun was inching over the horizon, draping the sky and landscape in a brilliant shade for red. The air was still, no sounds pierced the convenient silence. Lance Corporal Levi paced slowly through the hallways, with the light sounds of footsteps for company.

He nose twitched, catching the scent of something fowl and rotten. Whatever it was, it smelled like shit. Someone had to fix it, clean it, whatever was necessary to obliterate the offensive odor.

He turned his mind away from it, struggling to keep his mind on his destination. He didn't want to go, but he knew he must, he told himself he would. Luckily, he'd gotten a long rest the night before. Being up so early would have bothered him so much more if he hadn't had a proper nights sleep.

There was no one awake at this time, he reckoned. Maybe someone was, but it didn't matter.

 _Mikasa Ackerman. Number one graduate of the 104th Training Squad. Was born in a rural area in the mountains of Wall Maria, her parents' were both killed when she was nine and she was kidnapped, but along with Eren Jaeger, also aged nine, killed the kidnappers in cold blood. She was then adopted into the Jaeger household up until the day Wall Maria fell. At age twelve, herself, Eren Jaeger and another child Armin Arlert joined the Training Corps and graduated three years later._ He went over in his head, from a report he had read over from the Training Corps.  _She displayed an almost limitless potential during those three years, of course she did... She shared a 'deep relationship' with the Jaeger kid, sharing almost no real interest in anything but him. The day after graduation, Trost, the district the 104th Training squad was sent to was attack by the Colossal Titan. After five years of 'peace'._  He rolled his eyes at the word 'peace', but noted the suspicious nature of the 104th Training Squad being in the Trost District the same day as the Colossal Titan showed up after years of absence, when it could have attacked again. He could smell a rat.

 _On that day, amongst the confirmed dead was Eren Jaeger. Ackerman reportedly lead the remaining soldiers on the front back to HQ, but ran out of gas. She survived, obviously._ He became curious to what exactly happened, perhaps he would ask her today during their training.  _Clearly she must be disturbed in some way about her 'brother' dying, possibly imprinting herself on this Arlert, as they were both close to Jaeger. But why would she join the Scouting Legion? Perhaps she wants to die, but not a pathetic death. Or maybe, she wants revenge for her 'brother'. Either way, she needs to cut the immature shit out. She'll die a quicker death if she doesn't, and for absolutely nothing. I detest pointless deaths._

He stopped outside her door, finally, and opened it. He was hoping not to walk in on another weird cuddling session, or even something worse. But low and behold, one of the beds was empty and both the two rookies were lying on the other.  _Lying_  wasn't quite the word.

Mikasa had her upper body leaning awkwardly over the edge of the bed, with her face on the floor. She looked as though she must have been on the bed, on her stomach, properly, but slid her upper body off during the night and not noticed. Armin was also in his stomach, but on the bed properly. He looked as though he had nudged her off in the night as his head was close to the edge. Mikasas' legs were also trapped under his, that must have been what kept her lower half up.

Levi internally palmed himself in the face, but kept an outwardly uncaring expression. He walked over and lightly kicked Mikasas' shoulder, but she didn't wake. He kicked again, a little harder "Ackerman." She still didn't wake, she looked lazy and humble with her face smudged against the old wooden floorboards.  _She needs to clean this room_  he noted.

Armin was the one to wake up, as he jumped up with a small scream when he opened his eyelids to see the Lance Corporal in the room.

As Armin jumped up, his legs lifted and pushed Mikasa off of the bed. She let out a little scream herself, but it sounded more like a groan. "Wh-what's?" Mikasa nearly growled, lifting her head to see a pair of boots next to her face. She glanced up, slowly recognising the Corporal. "Levi?"

His brow twitched " _Corporal_  Levi."

She pounced up as quickly as she could, and tried to hide her blurred, dizzying vision as she got up too quickly. She couldn't allow the Corporal to see her in this state, he already disrespected her, this would only give him a real reason to give her hell. "Sir-" she began.

"Save it, Ackerman. Go wash up, your disgusting."

Her nose wrinkled and her brows lowered, eyes baring an embarrassed wrath.

"Sir, are we late again?" Armin intervened, catching a whiff of the tension between the two master Titan killers.

He kept his eyes on Mikasa "no."

"Oh... Isn't it still very early, sir?" Armin looked outside the window, seeing the sun just waking up in the distance.

"Yes" he replied with stagnant displeasure. "Ackerman has a busy day, however. An early start is in order."

She sighed, looking down at Armin.

 _She looks tired still_  Armin thought, nodding for her to go.

She slowly nodded back and headed for the door, ignoring Levi as he followed her.

...

"Mikasa" Petra walked into the meetings room, followed by Auruo. "You're here early."

Mikasa looked up from her silent cup on the table, where she sat beside a silent Erd and opposite a silent Gunther; who had arrived after herself and a silent Corporal Levi, who sat at his couch casually thinking over something. Mikasa nudged her head towards Levi, who paid no attention, expecting her attitude.

Petra followed her eyes towards Levi and silently mouthed 'ohhh...' with one slow nod of her head.

"You look like shit" Auruo smirked, walking over to sit next to Gunther. "Must've been some party."

Mikasa glared at him menacingly, her eyes twitched over to Petra, who sat herself beside her. She must have ratted her out.

Petra raised her hands defensively "what am I supposed to tell him at that time of night? I went for an evening stroll?"

"That explains a lot" Erd noted "you've looked depressed all morning."

"Oh" she ignored them all, taking a drink with a bored expression.

"A party? Bet you were drinking too. Ridiculous." Gunther remarked.

She ignored him, she still felt the echoes of the previous night. She could remember everything that happened, why she drank and why she felt like pouring lemon juice over herself to feel better today.

"Corporal, will we be training again in the forest today?" Erd asked, breaking the build up of clouded judgement.

Levi looked up "not today, everyone should go about their business as usual. Except Ackerman, you're with me today."

"Great" she spoke in a bland tone, hinting at sarcasm. She had to deal with his happy self for the day. She wanted to smack her face onto the table, repeatedly until she was asleep again.

"Well aren't  _you_  special?" Auruo teased, before getting hit on the head by Petra as she leaned over the table.

Mikasa took another sip of her cup, needing the lovely plain water to rehydrated her. She shared a quick glance with the Corporal. Was that a challenge she detected in his eyes?  _Great..._

_..._

Armin sat patiently at his table, eating his breakfast as he waited. He was polishing up his letter to Annie, it felt too wrong before, too unlike himself. What he had written now felt a lot better.

_Dear Annie,_

_I know you're considering to rip this up, but since you're reading this, you probably won't. I just wanted to write to you, when I saw Jean writing to Marco, I just got the idea to write to you, in case you missed us. I'm hoping the Military Police was the right choice for you, and that you're feeling well. We've had some troubles so far, I got sick for a little while, but I'm better now, so please don't worry about me :) There was a party last night, Connie and Sasha got some wine, got drunk and Sasha sort of got into some trouble with one of the top Squad Leaders... No real surprise there. Mikasa and Jean had some to drink, and Jean is apparently French, he ended up saying something in that language to Mikasa and he ended up kissing Mikasa last night when we went to our rooms. I'm a little worried about them. I feel bad for telling anyone that, but you can keep secrets, right? I know you will, Annie, thank you. :)_

_We're heading out on an expedition soon, so I thought I should send you a letter before then. Thanks for reading this, we do miss you, I think you might be missing us, or maybe are worried, if you read this far. I honestly tried to keep this as short as possible, knowing you must be busy._

_Also, Reiner and Bertholdt said hello, I think they are really missing you._

_Thanks again, Armin._

Seemed fine to send now.

"Oi, Armin. What's that?"

Armin looked up, finally seeing Jean. Now he could talk to him. "I was writing a letter to Annie, when I saw you writing one to Marco I thought I should send one to her."

"Really? Annie?" He sat down beside him, placing his breakfast on the table in front of him. "She's gonna tear it up you know."

"I know she probably will, but isn't it nice to at least know someone is thinking of you?" He reasoned, lifting his palm to point at the ceiling.

"I guess it depends" he shrugged, looking down at his food, ready to eat.

"Hey, Jean. I was meaning to talk to you about something..." Armin started, looking hesitant.

Jean glanced at him, worried "what's the matter?"

"About what happened last night" his voice became quieter, know Jean wouldn't want people to know just yet, or Mikasa, she would be horrified if their relationship didn't bloom and people knew this.  _"About you and Mikasa..."_

Jeans' face flushed, thinking back to last night. "Oh, yeah... Do you like her or something?"

"Not like that" he said slowly.

"So, she told you, right?" Jean hushed, moving closer to whisper.

"Kind of, she was acting funny" Armin stared at the table, thinking back to Mikasas' state of 'happiness'.

"What you mean 'funny'?"

"She was acting like a girl."

Jean snorted in a laugh "she is a girl, man..."

"I mean, like... She asked me if I'd ever... you know."

Jeans' brow gave a spasm "done it?"

"No, no, no! Kissed!"

"Shhh!" Jean clapped his hand over Armins' mouth, as people around them looked over. "Alright... Then what? Did she talk about me?"

Armin nodded, and so Jean removed his hand. "She said she's confused, that she doesn't understand, even though she kissed you back. I think she's trying to work it out when she's sober. No offense by that from me or her."

"You're speaking like you're her brother or something..."

They both paused, and Jean knew he'd unintentionally brought Eren into the conversation. "Armin, sorry."

"I think we should all stop apologising about those sort of things" Armin frowned, speaking his honest opinion. "Eren did die, and a lot of us still will die. It was his choice to risk his life, and he lost the bet. It hurts, and I miss him, Mikasa misses him. But we should stop blaming and deluding ourselves about what happened or could have happened. It only leads to more suffering and hesitance..."

Jean nodded, thinking back to everyone he watched ripped apart, eaten alive and swallowed whole. "You're right..."

"But thank you Jean, I'm glad you care" Armin tried to smile.

Jean nodded, returning to his food.

"Just let Mikasa work things out herself, she still has a lot on her mind, including you now."

"You make me sound like an asshole..."

"So long as you respect Mikasa and her decision, then your not. I  _will_  be a defensive brother if you don't though" he looked down at his breakfast, still smiling.

"Yes, Arlert, sir!" Jean smirked, taking to heart what he said beneath the light humor.

...

"Sir, where are we going?" Mikasa asked, mounting her not so loyal steed Dubois. She looked over to Corporal Levi on his black mare, a noble, loyal, strong breed.

"You'll find out if you keep up" he answered blandly, kicking into his mares' flanks, causing her to rear with a triumphant neigh.

Mikasa growled, kicking her own stallions' flanks, he slowly rose into a gallop, staying behind Levi as they rushed through the gates and into the outer wilderness. She kicked Dubois harder, forcing to keep up with Levis' steed. She was surprised when her chestnut ruffian passed Levis' black beauty. It took her a minute to realise that he had slowed his pace. She looked back, and he was watching her and her horse, he indicated for her to keep looking forward, and she snapped her head back.

Dubois was acting differently, more obedient, more calm tempered. What did Levi know? What had he done to her horse? It may just be the fact there are no other stallions for him to be annoyed about. But Levi was still up to something, or had been, she just knew it.

The ride she imagined took about three hours in total, they had slowed down to a walk every half hour for around five minutes, to let the horses rest, then started up again. They went around the whole of HQ twice.

"Ackerman, that's all for today" Levi strode ahead of her and dismounted while the mare still trotted.

"Show off..." She grumbled under her breath.

"What was that?" Levi heard her anyway.

"I said you were showing off" she answered, knowing he heard her anyway.

He pulled the reins of his horse waited for her to dismount "of course I was, Ackerman. Now, you wait here with the horses. I'll be back."

She dismounted and walked Dubois closer until Levi handed her his reins. She stood there with both horses as he walked into the stables. Dubois nibbled at her green cloak playfully. She looked to see a troff full of water, and she walked both horses towards it, allowing them to drink.

Levi returned with several items "Ackerman."

She looked over to him, noticing his shorter height, again.

"I thought I told you to wait over there."

"You did?" She raised a brow, and the side of her mouth.

He was not amused, throwing a sponge in her direction. "Wash your horse down."

She let go of the reins to catch the sponge and he planted a bucket of water between the two horses.

"Aren't you a clean freak or something?" She questioned, taking the tack off of her horse.

He paid her no attention, taking the tack from his own.

"Fine then" she sighed, dipping her sponge into the bucket, and washing it down Dubois' back. "Hey, why's Dubois acting differently? I know you know."

"I know you know I know" she could feel him grinning, trying to confuse or at least annoy her, she wasn't going to have any of that.

"Well?" She asked, watching him wash his own mare.

"I had one of the veterinary officers geld him yesterday" he sounded bored.

She stopped and glanced around at him, without speaking to him though. She turned back to washing down Dubois, shaking her head. "About time." She tried to thank him, but couldn't allow those words to get out.

They continued grooming for about twenty minutes in silence, it wasn't an awkward silence though, more like 'I'm watching you, so don't try anything stupid' kind of silence.

"Are you trying to bond with me again?" She half joked with an emotionless voice.

He ignored her outwardly, but found himself eventually answering "of course, and later we will have tea and biscuits, Ackerman."

"Your a jackass, you know that?" She sighed.

"That's 'your a jackass, sir', Ackerman."

"I'll just call you Levi, will I?" She answered, trying to keep herself from sniggering menacingly. She hated him so much, she didn't care if she beat up.

She was going to be the death of him, he swore.

...

"Hanji, are you alright?" Armin asked upon entry to her office, where he heard Hanji laughing in a creepy pitch.

She turned around from reading some papers he didn't recognise. "Oh, didn't see you there, scamp. You feeling better already?"

"Uh... Yeah. But Hanji, you were laughing just a minute ago, I don't want to mean offense when I say it sounded a little disturbing..." He walked closer into the room.

"Sit down, Armin, over there, anywhere you want" she grinned, and he sat on a couch close to the window.

"Hanji, you seem a little excited again, has something happened?" He sat with his hands on his lap, keeping his eyes on her for change or information.

"Well, well, well, well, well... I just want to say that I love your amazing little mind, little scamp" she cheered, resting her face on her knuckles. "I was just rereading a report about Trost. And there's something about a theory of yours my little scamp... Something about the Armored, Colossal and new Female Titan being human?"

"Oh, right, yes it's just a theory though..."

"Tell me, tell me" she repeated with excitement "what brought this theory into your head?"

"The report should tell you-"

"I want to hear  _your_  point of view, Armin, that's an order there... Now start from after the part where you made the Armored Titan trip, loved that part by the way."

He nodded, knowing she would only make an order when she needed to "the Armored Titan seemed to be struggling to move when it fell, and the canons pushed it down further. Mikasa charged for it, ready to kill it, but there was a really loud noise, like when lightning strikes, and the Female Titan was running for it. Mikasa would have been crushed or hit by it if our friend Jean hadn't saved her. The next part I can barely believe myself... The Female Titan grabbed the Armored Titan, and bite into the nape of the neck, ripping out what appeared to be a man... Once she ate him, she ran off back the way she came, and the Armored Titan melted away."

Hanji stared a moment, genuinely intrigued by the concept of a human inside the neck of a Titan. "I want to capture one of them."

"Wh-what?" Armins' eyes went wide, worried for his superior sanity.

"I'm thinking... The Colossal Titan seems a bit big to restrain, would take too much effort, too much of a risk. But if we find the wonderful bastard in human form, he would be much easier to reprimand... The Armored Titan, notably strong, fast and obviously covered in armor... Again, seems like too much effort, but in human form possible. Now, the Female Titan... That beauty, she's who I plan to capture. She seems quick, and intelligent, and set on getting the job done and getting the fuck out of there, no matter how dangerous. I think I could catch her in her Titan form. She seems attached to the Armored Titan, an accomplice, perhaps friend. Perhaps, if we figure out one of their identities and use it as bait for the others..."

"Hanji, I know where your getting at, and I want to capture them too, so they don't do anymore damage or kill anyone else."

"But?"

"But, I don't think using one of them as bait is a good plan of action. If they really are spies amongst us, they must be willing to give up their humanity to deceive and kill so many of us. They might be willing to sacrifice one of their own too... For the sake of this 'mission' they have."

"Fair point" she agreed, smiling at his sharp mind.

"Do you suspect Ymir? Because of her name in that book?" Armin asked, understanding why Ymir is looking more and more suspicious.

"I do suspect her. What about you? Is she the suspicious type?"

He thought a moment, before answering "she seems to be by herself or with Christa all of the time, and isn't the most friendliest of people, she's all about self preservation in a way... She doesn't resemble the Female Titan though... In basic appearance and personality. The only person I can see her wanting to save is herself or Christa."

"Perhaps it's a really good poker face?" Hanji reasoned.

"I have my doubts, but they seem unjust" Armin thought about her teasing and joking.

"I would like you to keep an eye on her, and everyone in the 104th Training Squad who joined the Scouting Legion, but don't cause reason for suspicion. I don't want the spies to know that we've narrowed them down yet."

"Narrowed them down? How can you be sure they are soldiers, and specifically in the 104th Training Squad?"

"Five years ago, Armin, five years ago they appeared. Why five years ago, not sooner? Or later? They must have infiltrated the walls then. And don't you find it suspicious that the next attack doesn't come until the day the graduates are working the walls in Trost? Too many coincidences, my little scamp." Hanji stood, stretching her arms into the air. "Erwin called it, but the Military Police don't know yet. They wouldn't allow us to go anywhere if they got the whiff of a traitor in the Legion. They tend not to see reason when it comes to the scarier things in life."

Armin looked down, staring at the floor. One of his friends was a traitor, a spy. But who? Who was strong? Who was suspicious? Who all were close, but would abandon each other if need be?

"We just need them to slip up once more, any hesitance or suspicious actions, you let me know their names, and I'll look into it."

Armin nodded, looking up at her, conflicted, but obedient in the cause.

"I can rule out you and Mikasa, you both are trustworthy, I believe."

"And what will happen to those I think are acting suspiciously?"

"Don't worry, they'll just be observed more clearly, put in conveniently far away from importance. Definitely not allowed near the walls. Nothing until it can be confirmed."

"Okay..."

...

"Ackerman" Levi called, returning after stalling his mare.

Mikasa quickened her pace over to him, from inside the stables where she had just stalled her horse. "Sir?"

"Follow me" he ordered, walking off.

She reluctantly followed him into a courtyard where several other soldiers stood, some Scouting Legion, and some Military Police. Corporal Levi stopped in the middle of the courtyard, and turned to her. She stopped, confused about what was going on.

"Ackerman, spar with me."

"What?" She frowned, folding her arms.

"Quit pouting like a child, you heard me. Now, draw a circle, exactly three meters in width, on the ground."

She growled, scraping the ground with her heel, making a circle, pretty much three meters in width. She purposefully kicked him on her way around, as if it were an accident, a very convenient accident.

He glared down at her, he held back hitting her, he could beat her up in a minute. "Now, Ackerman. Stand in the circle, facing me."

She did so, keeping a meter between herself and him in the fighting ring.

He took of his green cloak, calling to one of the Legion soldiers for him to take it, Mikasa handed the soldier her cloak also, keeping her eyes focused on Levi.

"The goal is to get the other person out of the circle, or get them to give in. Got it?" Levi explained, clenching his fists and then relaxing them.

"Is this sparring, or fighting?" She asked, lowering her face so it was covered in shadow from her dark hair.

"Call it whatever you want, at the end of the day" he answered, watching carefully.

She nodded, glancing up with a venomous glare.

He raised a brow expectantly.

She lifted her balled fists, and punched the right at him.

He caught it, and pulled her behind him. She kicked his leg as she passed him, knowing his grip on her wrist was solid and unmoving. His hit leg moved back slightly, but stayed in place. He pushed her out of the circle, and she barely caught herself from falling.

"Is that all? From the number one?" He taunted.

She snarled, looking around at everyone, they were all staring. She knew what he was doing, trying to make her look bad in front of everyone, so he would look better. She knew then, that she couldn't hold back. She charged back at him, raising her arms, she swung a kick.

He kneed her in the gut almost effortlessly. "Left yourself open, too slow."

She held her abdomen, grunting at the sharp pain she felt there. She lifted her leg, ready to kick him again. He caught her leg and lifted her out of balance, she struggled to hold herself up, but refused to fall again. She pushed herself forward against him, and landed a punch to the side of his face. But he didn't let go, and pushed her leg away from them, and she fell.

He crouched down beside her "give up, Ackerman?"

She made to punch him again, but he caught it and gave her a punch in the face. She let out a low, deep sound, the cross between a scream and a snarl.

He lifted her with him, kicked her out of the circle again.

She picked herself up.

Before she could walk back into the circle, Levi spoke "lose that scarf."

She paused and felt the scarf "no."

He walked closer, right at the edge of the ring. "Let it go, and fight properly."

She bared her teeth and kept eye contact "no."

"I know it was  _his_ , I know he gave it to you after your parents were slaughtered, after you and him killed their murderers. Eren Jaeger is dead. He is gone and isn't ever coming back. Deal with it."

She screamed at him and she put all of her rage into a single punch. He caught it again, and with the other hand, slammed her onto the ground, face first. "You bastard..."

"You're weak, because you can't accept that you'll never see him again. You're going to die on your first expedition if you don't let it go."

"Like you give a shit, short little bastard..."

He twisted her arm, causing her to hiss, not allowing herself to scream in front of him, in front of everyone else. "I detest pointless deaths."

He let go of her arm, and she slammed it against the ground, caring little about that pain.

"Do you want him to have died in vain? Because you couldn't be strong? He may be dead, but you should remember him, his strength, his existence. He is the reason for you being here this day, that your even alive. You owe him your survival, nothing more and nothing less. Guarantee that you won't allow him to have died a pointless death, or lived a pointless life to save a pointless girl from pointless slave traders."

Her eyes watered up, and she stared at the ground, hiding her face. "I know that... Your dead... I'm sorry, Eren... But I'll do it for you, I'll live, I'll see the outside world, I'll kill all of the Titans..." She whispered while her voice tightened at every inching syllable.  _You existed for me to live this life, for me to be strong, and fight in this war, for me to save everyone. You may have died, but will live on this way, you can be remembered this way, as the savior of mankind. You can still save everyone, Eren._

Levi heard the words she spoke, she was finally getting it. He was interested in her words, no matter the cliché. "Get up." He ordered, and she stood.

She wiped her eyes with her sleeve "thank you... Let me keep the scarf..."

He nodded and took a few steps back, allowing her into the circle.

"I will fight, and I will win. Anything that opposes that, will lose. I promise" she stared at him, her eyes still glistening. She wasn't speaking entirely to Levi though.

"Then fight" Levi ordered, noticing the bruising forming on her face.


	22. Bruising

"Hey, big brother."

Armin looked up from his dinner, hearing a sweet, angelic voice seemingly call towards his direction. His gaze found his 'sibling'.  _Christa?_ He returned her smile. "Hello, little sister."

She giggled, pressing her fingertips against her lips. "Mind if I sit with you? Ymir got into trouble, so she won't be here for dinner."

He budged over, closer to where Bertholdt was sitting next to him. He was awkwardly staring into space when he felt Armin shuffle against him, making room for Christa.

"Sorry" Bertholdt said quietly, shuffling along to the edge of the table.

Armin shifted his gaze around the table. To his left, there was Bertholdt, looking more awkward than usual. To his right, a naturally happy Christa. He shot a glance at them both, watching their eyes, their gestures, their facial features.  _Christa, if she's the spy, she's a damn good one. Always so kind and cheerful. It feels hard to believe that its' an act, her actions feel genuine and from the heart. But she feels almost withdrawn in a way, its' hard to place it... Like she's afraid to do something wrong._

_Bertholdt, he's acting like he always has; nervous, withdrawn from action, even if it's just a conversation. He seems intent on not being the one to speak first. Yet he did ask to sit with me when Reiner wasn't around. Where was Reiner? Everyone in fact?_

_Ohhh... We were the only ones who were at the party last night, who weren't drinking. Squad Leader Mike Zakarius had caught us, so he must have ordered some sort of punishment. But how did he know who did and didn't drink? Perhaps he asked one of us, maybe he just has a good sense about things. Sounds useful if he has some sort of sense._

_"_ Hey, Armin? Has everybody gotten into trouble?" Christa asked, frowning worriedly.

Armin and Bertholdt glanced over with their right brows raised. "Yeah, I think so" Armin replied. "I guess, that's what happens when you overdo it... The Scouting Legion is pretty disciplined."

Her head lowered "I'm just worried about Ymir, about everyone. We were all just getting together and having fun, like old times."

"You shouldn't worry, they wouldn't be given a punishment they couldn't handle" he assured her, patting her head lightly.

Her eyes twinkled, and she blushed "I know, I know. I'm just being silly, aren't I?"

He smiled.

Bertholdt looked down at his food.  _Reiner likes her..._ He felt saddened, not from jealousy, but from the idea of attachment. It was sure to be shattered like glass or torn like fabric.

"Arlert, here's Ackerman, she's all yours" Levi seemed to appear from nowhere, with Mikasa standing by his side.

"Sir?" Armin looked up, but then froze at the sight of them both.

Mikasa had a burst lip and her right cheek had turned an awful purple colour.

Levi wasn't looking much better, with a black eye and slightly less purple cheek.

They didn't seem upset at all, they seemed perfectly calm.  _Why are they so calm?_ Armin thought.  _They look like they've just tried to kill each other._

"Corporal" Mikasa spoke nonchalantly, nodding as Levi turned to leave, several people had started to look over, chattering about his injuries.  _Dammit, I shouldn't have let her get those hits... This isn't going to look good. Wait until Hanji sees this, fuck... She'll have a field day. Erwin's going to see this..._ Levi internally sighed as he left the room, making sure to keep a straight face in front of everyone. It didn't look good to have humanities strongest soldier bruised due to sparring with a new recruit.  _She does have some potential though... Harnessing her emotions, controlling herself... Quite interesting._

 _"_ Mikasa, are you alright?!" Christa stood, running around the table to sit beside Mikasa, inspecting the damage.

"I'm fine, Christa" Mikasa blinked twice at her, then held her gaze.

"You and Corporal Levi were fighting?" Armin asked rhetorically, more like he was asking  _why_  they were fighting.

"We were sparring" she answered, her voice lightening to a sugary tone.

"So it got carried away?" He pointed to his lips and his cheek, showing her where her injuries were.

She shrugged. "I didn't completely lose, I got a good couple of swings at him."

Bertholdt stared at her, eyes slightly widened, he was bewildered in a sense.  _She's strong, physically and mentally, even after what happened to Eren..._ He felt himself sadden again, but hid the emotion from his friends.

"Mikasa, you look really hurt..." Christa lowered her head, staring up at her with big blue eyes.

Mikasa slowly blinked down at her.  _I'm really fine, so please don't feel bad for me._

"Did he do that because of last night? Because you were drinking?" Armin asked.  _Seems like a severe punishment... But maybe Corporal Levi would do something like that, if he felt he had to. Maybe he felt she needed to learn something, deal with something. Maybe it was an issue of dominance, Mikasa doesn't seem to treat him with that much respect, even though he's the Lance Corporal._

She locked her eyes with his, keeping herself steady "maybe. I get the feeling this was coming for a while now though."

"Why do you say that?" He continued.

She shrugged "he seems to like it, sadistic little chibi. It was one of the rare times he's showed any real emotion, or put any effort into anything. And he always gave me a challenging look, like he was daring me to punch him in the face, or abdomen, or anywhere."

"You seem to like him now" Armin smiled.

She wanted to laugh "not quite, but I hate him a little bit less, in a way."

"That's good" Armin nodded.  _I don't think you should have hurt each other so much though... The expedition is coming soon, we need to be in top form. It's probably hurt his pride to have those bruises, considering how he is humanities' strongest._

She glanced around, then took in the obscure image before her "where... is everyone?"

...

_How is this going to go?_

_Knock knock. Who's there?_

Petra groaned, walking along the hallway carrying a bucket of cold water with her right hand, and a freshly cleaned towel in her left.

_I can't not do it now... I've gone all the way outside to get this water, all the way to laundry to get a fresh towel._

_What if he's already patched up? Had someone to patch him up?_

_He's too stubborn to admit he needs help, he'll probably be sulking in his room by himself, making sure nobody sees him in such a state. I bet his pride has been damaged a little, maybe just a little._

_He can take care of himself, he's not some child in need of a mother._

_I know that... But I just have to help him._

_Why?_

_I know why._

She found the door she was looking for, and stopped, just staring at it for a minute or two. She exhaled, closing her eyes.  _You can do it. What's the worst that can happen?_

She rested the bucket on the ground and chapped her hand against the old wooden door four times.

 _Who's there?_ Her mind teased. She shook the nervousness out, there was definitely no turning back now. She was a woman on a mission.

She waited a minute before the door opened wide. The opening revealed her superior, in his casual attire; black pants, white buttoned shirt, and his usual cravat. She thought down to her uniform, which she was still wearing.  _Is it that late already? I must have taken longer than I thought... Considering Corporal Levi's not in uniform anymore._

"Petra?" Levi pulled her out of her thoughts.

She looked up, seeing him put on that bored expression as he usually did. She knew better than that, she could tell he was confused, by the look in his blue eyes, they weren't dull and bored. They were focused down at her, the eyelids slightly parted, blinking at a faster speed than usual, but only twice before she noticed the darkening around his eye.

She looked down and picked up the handle of the bucket, lifting both her hands to her shoulders height. She smiled shyly.

He cocked a brow, knowing she must have seen the bruising.  _Petra..._ He internally sighed.

 _I know, I know. But I knew you'd be too stubborn to get that seen to._ She understood the new look in his eyes, the way his head pulled back several inches. "I just want to help, sir" she finally spoke, lowering her full hands.

"With what?" His body slumped, barely visible, if not for Petras' keen vision.

She frowned, lowering her head.  _You know what..._

His eyes closed and pulled his head down, just low enough so his fringe barely hid his eyes in the dim light from the hall. "Is that bucket clean?"

"Cleaned it before I filled it, sir. Clean water, and a cloth fresh straight from the laundry" she kept his gaze, determined to hold onto it as long as possible.

He moved away from the door, walking back into his room. "Close the door after you."

She smiled, and followed him in, closing the door behind her like he ordered. She found him sitting on the edge of his bed, lazily perched with his legs parted and hands falling in between.

 _Is he trying to act like this is nothing? His pride must be hurt quite badly if he's resorting to this with me... Then again, would this be normal any other time? Me being here?_ She walked closer, trying to avoid his gaze now, searching around his immaculate room. It was a pretty big room. She placed the bucket on the ground, between herself and Levi, and sat down.

 _I need to talk, say something... Before this gets creepy or awkward._ She dipped the cloth into the bucket, soaking up the cold water. "So you were sparring with Mikasa?"

"Yes." His answer was low, and painfully blunt.

She nodded, wringing out the excess water back into the bucket. "This might sting a little" she warned, lifting the cloth to her lap. She searched to find the exact spot of the bruise, on the upper lid, carving slightly towards his ear.

He closed the eye as she brought the cloth towards it, it did sting as it touched, it was cold. He restrained himself from flinching, but she could see the twitch in his other eye.

"Why were you two sparring?" She asked casually, trying to keep things light hearted.  _Why would you be sparring with Mikasa? I know you don't seem to get along, but..._

"She had to be taught a lesson." His voice hardened, if only a hint.

She nodded slowly.  _What lesson?_

"Everyone has heard by now I imagine" he sounded, looking ahead at the blank wall in front of him.  _Mike, Hanji, Erwin..._

"I think so" she removed the cloth and dipped it back into the water. "Just means you have to get better quicker" she smiled again.

"I'm not ill or injured, it's only some mild bruising."

She nodded "it still needs to be tended to, it could get worse if you don't keep the swelling down."

He wanted to make a remark, something to annoy her. But the look on her face stopped him, she looked concerned, genuinely caring. He openly sighed.

"Is something troubling you, sir?" She readied the cloth in front of his eye, before holding it down gently.

He was quiet, blinking more slowly now.

 _He might be tired, maybe the fight took it out of him today... I doubt it, he's pretty tough, he can deal with it._ She shuffled a little closer, getting a better look at his face. The bruise on his cheek was small, inching just below where the black eye ended. "Do you want to lie down, sir?"

He glanced back at her, meeting with her quiet, patient amber orbs. "I would. But I'll wait."

She nodded swiftly.  _So stubborn... But at least he's listening to me._

They remained silent for another ten minutes, Petra dipped the cloth back into the bucket twice in said time.

 _He must be tired of me by now, maybe I should leave..._ She frowned, looking down.

"Petra" he called.

"Sir?" She glanced up.

He was quiet again, and kept her gaze held in place.

_... I don't get him sometimes. He acts cold, then suddenly, seems to crave company, even if it's the most subtle hint that only people who knew him would begin to try and try to understand._

She bit her lip, watching his eyes move down to see it. Her heart hitched, and she looked away, hiding the blush in her cheeks. She managed to glance back, he was still looking at her, noticing the tint to her cheeks. He didn't pull away, or do anything in fact.  _Should I...? No... I couldn't, no..._

But she pulled her face back, and closer to his.

A hand pressed between her shoulder and neck, thumb pushing against her throat lightly, holding her still.

She was inches away from a kiss when he stopped her. She frowned.

"Petra, I've told you already" he broke the cold silence.

She thought back to the stables, when they were interrupted by Armin. She pulled herself away, looking down. "I know, I'm just being stupid."

"You are."

She glanced back up, and cracked a smile. He was joking with her, like he sometimes did when it was just them both.

"I can't" he lowered his tone, looking back at the severely cleaned wall.

"I know, and I'm sorry. I know you don't like it..." Her own voice lowered.  _I really do like you though..._ "I should patch your eye up, it doesn't need to be damaged further in the night. And don't worry, you can take it off tomorrow when you wake up." She smiled warmly, reaching into her pocket to bring out a small cloth and wrapped up bandage.

She placed the cloth onto his eye and began wrapping the bandage around his head. "I made sure it's clean too."

"It's not that I don't like it."

"Hm?" She paused.

He looked up into her eyes with his remaining one. "This is just what I believe I'll regret least."

She let her eyes close slowly, before finishing off the wrappings.  _Sometimes you can't avoid the most regretful. We all know that, Levi._ "I trust you, and I believe in you."

He nodded.  _I know that._

...

Bertholdt waited in his room, changed from his uniform into a blue shirt and brown pants.

The door opened, revealing his life long friend. "Hey, Bertl." Reiner shut the door behind him.

"Hey" he sat cross legged on his bed, holding his knees. "You received a punishment?"

He yawned "yeah, had to muck out the entire stables by ourselves. Nothing I can't handle though. As a soldier, I should've reserved myself from drinking last night. It was idiotic."

Bertholdt frowned. "Reiner."

"What is it?" He began to change, flinging his green cloak on the table at the end of his bed.

"You... You've forgotten again, haven't you?"

"Forgotten what? Have  _you_  been drinking?" Reiner joked.

"You're a Warrior."

"Warrior?"

He looked down at his hands, his blood soaked hands.

"Oh... I- I guess... I remember now."

Bertholdt thought back to Trost, when they were about to leave HQ for the safety of Wall Rose.

_"Reiner, what are you talking about?" Bertholdt grabbed his friend by the shoulders, trying to get him to focus._

_"He's lost it, can't you see?" Annie looked up at them both, hiding her own worry for her old friends._

_Bertholdt looked down at her, looking for worry or sympathy._

_"Bertl, what's up with you? This is my duty as a Warrior" Reiner answered. "I have to break down the Walls."_

_"We don't need to, Reiner. Trosts' gate to Maria is destroyed, they can't use this district anymore. We have to escape now" Bertholdt tried to reason._

_Reiner snarled "I have a duty, and I have to follow it through."_

_"Reiner, you can't. We don't need to" Bertholdt pleaded._

_"Guys, aren't you coming? We have to run."_

_They sharply turned to meet with Armin, who remained behind to check on them, appearing concerned, and trying to work out what was going on._

_Reiner growled, and Bertholdt was strained for words._

_Annie looked up at her two idiots, then back at Armin, seemingly bored. She folded her arms._ _"We'll catch up, don't worry, Armin."_

_Armin left after that, but the concern remained. Would he work it out? Knowing they were the last to leave or get over the wall?_

_Bertholdt looked down at Annie, knowing she had a soft spot for Armin, he frowned at her._

_Reiner broke free of his hold at went for the exit._

_"Reiner, are you-"_

_"It's my duty."_

_Bertholdt was left behind with Annie as Reiner sliced his blade into his hand, before a bang of green lightning struck the earth where he stood. The Armored Titan slowly formed around him._

_"Reiner..." Bertholdt whispered, watching his friend helplessly._

_"He's lost it, I told you" Annie broke._

_He looked down at her, seeing her eyes, seeing her worry. She hid it well, but in all the time he'd watched her, he knew her far too well to not see it. "Annie... I'm sorry to ask this, but could you get him? Before something happens... I can't stop him, not in my Titan form, but you-"_

_She nodded "he will ruin the mission at this rate. We'll never be able to find the coordinate if we can't get into Wall two already lost us Maria."_

_"But that was for you to get in-"_

_"I'll stop him, so just shut up."_

_He lowered his head submissively. She changed so much from when they were just children, she was always withdrawn, but never so cold._

"Bertholdt, I-"

"It's alright... You just forgot, that's all. Just try to remember who you are, please..."

Reiner nodded still. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too, Reiner. But everything will be okay, we'll all go home together, like we promised."

...

Armin waited outside the ladies washroom, sitting on the floor thinking over his classmates.  _Maybe I should talk to Mikasa about this? I'd hate to worry her... But perhaps, she needs to know? Hanji said she's ruled out her, and myself. Five years ago, it began in Shiganshina. What else happened that day? The Scouting Legion returned from an expedition, earlier in the day. Either the spies come from Shiganshina, or they may have followed the Legion back to the Walls... But, if that's the case, how could people survive outside the Walls? Their Titan shifting ability perhaps? Maybe, the Titans recognise them as Titans, not humans... Maybe in the next expedition we could test that out? See who the Titans are less drawn to, maybe, even more drawn to? I don't know..._

The door opened to his left, revealing Mikasa, wearing a light skirt and plain dark shirt. Her hair still looked damp.

He stood as she closed the door behind her. "It's good that there was so much rain a while ago, we have a lot of water supplies for washing and drinking, it's difficult since there are no rivers nearby."

"Oh" she murmured, beginning to walk down the hall, carrying her uniform and towels.

"So, Mikasa, are you feeling better after a shower?" He scratched the back of his head.

"Much better" she nodded, but sounded like an obvious liar.

"Does it hurt?"

"Not really" she licked her lip, where the wound had turned soft from the shower.

"I'd be too used to them, you know?"

"Whoever caused them, would be punished."

He laughed nervously. "There's no need for rash action, Mikasa."

She frowned "are you okay?"

"What do you mean?" His head tilted.

She paused, and thought, staring at him "I'm not sure."

He watched her hair bounce with every step, then looked back ahead of him.

"I might just be thinking too much."

"I know the feeling" he agreed, looking over to her again.

...

Mikasa and Armin reached their room, opening it to reveal pitch darkness.

"It's so dark... I'll light the candle" Armin said, moving over to the candle on the windowsill, bringing a lightened match to the tip to allow it to burn. He sighed, the light wasn't that bright.

He settled down onto his bed, lying his back against the pillow. He sighed quietly, looking over to Mikasa, who lay down onto her own bed for once. "Mikasa, are you okay?"

"Yes..." She shifted onto her side, looking over at him.  _Is there something wrong with my face? Other than the obvious?_

"It's just... You're going into your own bed?"

She looked away, blushing. "Do you want me to sleep over in your bed? Or you in mine?"

He looked away, blushing. "You... You've never slept by yourself since I moved in here. I just thought it was unusual, that's all..."

"Oh, so then, neither?" She sounded far too innocent for the connotation going through his mind.

"Actually... I was wondering if I could talk to you about something?..."

"Alright."

He turned back to look at her, lightening up as he could share his thoughts with his friend. "Hanji wanted me to keep an eye on our classmates, she suspects that the Colossal, Armored and Female Titan are among them..."

"Who is at the top of the list?"

"I don't know, but only twenty of us joined the Scouting Legion. It's confusing, why would spies join the Legion? Maybe to get information, or to have access to the outside again if they need to run. Perhaps they are even looking for something, but lost it in Maria when they broke the gate? The Legion is the only way back into Maria, so it makes sense..."

Mikasa listened quietly to his rambles, she'd missed them.

"It all started in Shiganshina, we know that or certain. So I think they might come from there, like you, me and Eren."

He looked over, pausing, but she didn't seem that upset by the mention of Eren as she usually did. She almost seemed humble, awaiting him to continue.  _Is that what the Corporal was trying to make her learn? Did he say something to her?_ "So, it makes us suspects in a way, and witnesses. But, something has been bothering me... Nobody we know comes from Shiganshina, that we know of. Earlier that day, the Scouting Legion returned from an expedition, a few hours later, the Colossal and Armored Titan shows up. It doesn't feel like a coincidence. I mean, of all the districts, they appear hours after the Scouting Legion at the same district they entered. The spies could very well come from the outside, and followed the Legion back to the Walls."

She nodded. "Someone is keeping secrets. Or lying."

"I know, that's what worries me."

"I suspect Annie."

"What?!"

"I think she looks like the Female Titan."

"Is this because you didn't get along with her in our Training days?"

She frowned "no. I'm just speaking my mind."

He looked away. "We shouldn't jump to conclusions. Annie isn't that bad a person."

She hummed, turning onto her back. "Who do you suspect?"

He exhaled, not wanting to admit it out loud, or even within his own mind "I don't think it's Jean, or Sasha, or Connie. They were with everyone whenever the Intelligent Titans appeared."

"Everyone else is a suspect then."

"You neither, I know you aren't obviously."

"Obviously" she half laughed.

"Fifteen suspects."  _Three in particular. I hate to even think about it, but weren't Annie, Reiner and Bertholdt arguing about something before I left? And were the last to scale the Wall? A while after the Intelligent Titans disappeared? No... It can't be them._

_I have to keep an eye on them. I have to tell Hanji._

"Armin?"

"Yes, Mikasa?"

"For tonight, just relax, tomorrow we can act. I'll help you. But for now we need to sleep" her head faced him, eyes locking with his.

He nodded slowly, entranced by her calm demeanor. "Thank you, Mikasa."

She smiled, closing her eyes. "You don't need to thank me, Armin."

He stayed awake, looking up at the ceiling.  _It has to be someone._

_"Goodnight, Armin."_

_"Goodnight, Mikasa."_


	23. MAMA

"Hannibal?! Hannibal is such a good name! I will call him Hanni! No... Han? How about Hannes?!"

Moblit sighed, brows furrowing as he watched his Squad Leader charge around the room, waving her hands frantically and beyond exaggeration. He didn't even bother to question her insanity, she was far too lost in it all now, for a while now in fact. He also understood it was far too late to deny or ignore the fact this crazy woman had helped gain information about the Titans that only someone like herself could find.

"Oh, oh, oh! Moblit! What do you think?" Hanji exclaimed, focusing her entire being on him.

He shrugged  _please leave me out of your insanity, Hanji... It's likely infectious..._ "I don't know, Hanji, any name is best."

"Bwaaa, you're no help! Armin, what you think?"

Moblit looked down to the far smaller, fresh recruit.  _How'd he end up at a higher rank than his classmates already? With Major Hanji? It absolutely alludes me... I understand he was involved in Trost and aiding the plan of recapturing the city. Little guy looks almost lost in battle, but he does have a sharp mind, noticed that I have a different shirt for different daily moods the second time he met me._  It felt like this little blonde kid walked over his grave whenever he locked eyes with him.

"I know a soldier called Hannes, he saved my friends five years ago" Armin mumbled, almost shyly.  _Don't choose Hannes, Hanji... Please take the hint... I need smart Hanji right now... Take the hint._

"AHAHAHA! Hannes it is then! For he will save your friends in the times to come!" Hanji clasped her hands together and rejoiced in the naming of the Titan they were to capture.

 _I knew she would take it the wrong way... I'm such an idiot sometimes, I should have told her straight._ Armin sighed, letting go of all composure to show his disdain.

"Take it easy, she'd named one after an ex-girlfriend of mine..."

"I remember Bethesda... She had a giant mouth, full of sharp teeth, a serpents tongue and eyes like ice" Hanji mused, smiling cheerfully. "Poor Beth... She..."

"Hanji! Tell us more about what  _Hannes_! What's he gonna be like? I forgot..." Armin burst out, before the wild look of horror erupted from Hanjis' heart and lungs.

She laughed, leaning against her desk "Hannes will be... Different, to say the least, a real tough guy, but soft around the eyes. He'll likely try to rip us apart, but he'll be very very clever about it. He may be quick, he may be agile. But most of all, he will know you, he'll see into your eyes, see your worth... Your very soul..."

 _She's losing her shit again..._ Moblit frowned, looking down at Armin, who stared into the cherry orbs of Hanji's excited vision.

"An Abnormal" Armin confirmed, not needing to ask her.  _So we will capture an Abnormal type Titan, so we can discover more about their types. It's dangerous, but perhaps worth the risk._ His eyes glazed over, he was lost, no longer in the room.  _Should I do it? Should I confront them? I have to confirm it myself, I have to understand better. If I'm correct... If they... I can't tell Hanji, not quite yet. It's been two weeks since the first letter was sent... She still hasn't replied, but, they don't know that._

"Scamp?" Hanji calls, staring at him, more calmly.

He shook his head, waking out of his thoughts "sorry... Was over thinking it again."

...

"Sir?" Mikasa asked, looking beside her at Corporal Levi.

"No" he answered, ignoring her otherwise as he continued through the courtyard.

She nodded, but proceeded to follow him.  _I don't want to say please, I don't. But you're forcing me to, you know that, right, chibi?_

"Ackerman, you no longer have to be kept in my sights, the Military Police have left."  _What the fuck is chibi?_

"Mhm..."

He glanced over to her, nonchalantly. She kept her eyes forward, kept exactly by his side, and her hands by her sides, clenched into fists.  _She's far too anxious, more eager in fact, too much energy she can't release. Like hell I'm going to be her release._ "You don't appear to take hints. I despise you for forcing me to spell this out for you."

She smiled again, a cocky grin.  _Fight?_

"Beat it, Ackerman. I've seen enough of that stupid face to span several lifetimes of suffering."  _It's healed nicely since the last sparring._

"Mhm" she nodded, still following him.

His brow twitched unconsciously, she was pushing his buttons on purpose. He wouldn't give her it, she would go back to dinner this evening with yet another disappointing day. "I refuse to spar again, Ackerman."

Her lids almost closed as she looked down at him "are you... afraid, Corporal?"

He wasn't even going to give her the satisfaction of an answer to that. "I hate teenagers."

She huffed a laugh "I hate chibis."

 _I must be a chibi, must mean a bastard, or fucker, or something along those lines. Since when did she get so bold? She was always proud, confident, majestic almost. A bird of prey readying for it's first flight. But this boldness... Likely when I first sparred with her, after that, she just wanted to fight again and again. She hasn't stopped her insults or persistance to test my patience. As if I would snap, I can deal with this for as long as need be._ "You won't win, Ackerman" he almost sighed.

"You know I need to fight, Sir, regardless of whether I believe I can win or not."

He walked into the main building, and of course, Mikasa followed.

"I've completed my duties today, Sir."

He looked back "do you want a gold star, Ackerman? Perhaps even a cookie?"

She scowled.

He cracked a brief smile, very brief. "I will spar with you again, if you return back from your first expedition."

She raised a brow.  _If?_

He ignored her, and walked on.

"I promise I won't die. You can't get rid of me that easily, I apologize for the inconvenience,  _Sir_."

He continued to walk on, hearing her words. "Don't be an idiot, Ackerman."

...

"Annie Leonhardt. Marco Bott."

"Sir!" Marco nodded energetically, saluting his Captain, who to be fair, was looking far less zestful.

Annie stood in the line of her fellow recruits to the Military Police, looking up cautiously to her Captain.  _Lazy, lethargic, detestable..._ She listed off the names for her Captain for eternity, as though she were reciting her ABCs.

"We appear to have some delayed letters for you both, from the Scouting Legion apparently..." He mused, handing the envelopes to them both as though they were a random childs scribbles.

Annie and Marco took the envelopes, noting that they had been opened previously, as there was some unhidden tearing along the top.

Marco's smile grin, as he opened the letter. "Jean."

Annie glanced over, holding her letter up to her chest defensively.  _Who would send me a letter? It couldn't be Reiner or Bertholdt, the Military Police must have checked the letters, they'd have heard by now if they leaked information. Even those two aren't that stupid... Well, actually, nevermind..._

"Could that be a love letter or something, Annie...?" Hitch stood beside her, peeking over to get a better look. "You're holding it so close to your chest, is it from someone dear to you?..."

"Hm." She answered, stuffing the letter into her pocket, out of sight.  _It would be none of your business regardless. But still, what idiot would send me a letter? From the Scouting Legion... Marco appears happy about his letter, so it's not news of death. It must be a genuine letter from someone with care or interest. Who cares about me? Who knows me?... It's from an idiot all right..._

_Armin Arlert._


	24. Confessions

"Jean, are you okay?" Armin asked, sitting beside Jean during dinner as he usually did when Mikasa was nowhere to be seen.

"Yeah, yeah" Jean dismissed, looking deep in thought as his eyes stuck to his untouched bowl of soup.

"You're a bad liar, sorry to tell you" Armin mumbled, tilting his head.

Jean cracked a smile "I know that already, I'm far too honest."

"That's not always a bad thing" Armin replied plainly.

" _Not always_  you said?" He finally turned to look at his friend.

Armin hummed a reply, looking back to his bowl before taking another sip from his spoon.  _The sooner I do this, the better._

"Are  _you_  okay?" Jean questioned, raising a brow.

He paused before answering.  _It's Reiner and Bertholdt, I'm going to talk to them about my suspicions._ "I'm... Just thinking."

_"About?"_

_I'm going to lie to them, I'm setting myself up in a dangerous bet. And... I'm scared, not because I could be right, but... Because I could be wrong about them._ "The expedition, just going over the formation plans."

"Oh?"  _And you called me a bad liar? Something's up..._ "Yeah, I'm part of the Relay on the right side, spare horses, close to the Vanguard."

"Most of the new recruits are being put down as Relay, for their first mission and their lack of experience in the field."

Jean nodded, finally taking a sip of his soup. "Let me guess, you and Mikasa aren't in the Relay, are you?"

Armin shook his head. "I'm in Hanji's squad, close to where the Commander will be.

"And Mikasa?"

"Maybe you should ask her yourself?" Armin suggested gently.

"Huh?" Jean paused, staring questioningly down at Armin.

"You were going to talk to her when she turns up anyway"  _I could see the look on your face, your thoughts were written all over it._

"Maybe..." He rolled his eyes.

"You'll be able to talk to her in private, I need to talk to Reiner and Bertholdt about something anyway."

"How convenient" he scratched the tanned scruff on top his head.

"Speaking of which, here she comes..." Armin eyes glanced up towards Mikasa.

Jean's head pounced up for him to gaze at her as she sat down opposite them "hey, Mikasa."

She glanced up at him almost curiously. "Hey" she nearly whispered, before beginning to eat in attempts to distract herself.

"Looks like everyone's got their problems today" Jean observed keenly.

She glanced up, then back down at her meal.

Armin could visualize the knife entering Jeans' heart at Mikasas' nonchalant attitude, but was surprised, and comforted, to see that he wasn't making much of a fuss about it.

Jean sighed, and began to eat away at the soup.  _Alright then, Mikasa, I'll wait to talk. The suspension is killing me though... Distract myself... yeah, that should help. What's everybody doing?_ He looked around slowly.

Sasha and Connie sat together, like always. Sasha appeared to have already eaten everything in front of her, and was looking rather suspicious. She glanced left and right, then moved her hand closer towards Connies' bowl. Her hand was smacked by a spoon, which she rubbed sorely, before trying again.

He rolled his eyes and chuckled inwardly. typical.

Christa was talking to Ymir, seeming as happy as usual. Ymir noticed Jean watching, and gave him a sharp glare.

Jean looked away quick with a nervous cough. Scary.

He then looked over to Reiner and Bertholdt, both sitting quietly eating dinner. He raised a brow and looked back to Armin. "Hey, Armin. Weren't you gonna go talk to Reiner and Bertholdt?"

Armin looked up half heartedly "y-yeah, but I was thinking after we all eat and clean up."

"Uh...huh."

Mikasa looked up, chewing of a piece of carrot.  _What?_ "Why are you going to talk to them?"

Armin looked away from her questioning gaze. "I wanted to thank them for something, but kept forgetting to do it."

"Oh?" She paused, resting her hands against the table.

"...They came to visit me when I was in the infirmary a couple of weeks ago, and they missed some training to check up on me... So..."  _They did. If they are the Armored and Colossal Titan, who've killed hundreds of thousands of people... Why would they care to check me? In fact, everything they've done for us... Reiner looking out for everybody... Annie pretending she doesn't care when I know she does... Bertholdt... Being Bertholdt... Those moments, those simple acts of kindness... **They don't feel like lies.**  Perhaps, it's my own feelings clouding my judgement, but still... It doesn't feel right._

"Armin?..." Mikasa asked with a sudden sisterly concern.

"Sorry, did I say something wrong?" He noticed her grey eyes twinkling from the candlelight.  _Crap, I made her worried..._

She frowned "you look upset."

"Just thinking again, that's all" he gave a half smile.

"Thinking?..."

"Yeah..."

"..."

He looked away nervously.  _She's doing it again... That look she gives me sometimes..._

"You can tell me later tonight" she nodded, locking her eyes with his.

Armin slowly nodded.  _I can't..._

"Don't know about you two, but I'm almost finished here. What about you Armin?" Jean interrupted a little too obvious in his annoyance and slightly jealously.

"Y-yeah..." Armin replied.

...

They had finished cleaning up after dinner, at last, to Jeans' relief.

"Good luck" Armin whispered to him as he walking away to find Reiner and Bertholdt.

"Thanks, man..." He barely spoke, before searching the room for Mikasa. She was nowhere to be seen.  _Shit... I know where her room is, that's fine, okay, let's go get her._ He hurried out of the hall, and unexpectedly stumbled into Mikasa with her back turned to him.

"Mikasa" he called in the calmest voice he could, while his heart trembled.

She stopped in her tracks and looked back at him "yes?"

He walked closer, with just less than a metres distance between them. "I was wondering if we could talk."

She waited a moment or two before nodding. "Let's walk..."

"Sure" he smiled, grateful she was finally hearing him out after a week or two of ignorance. "Where to?"

"Wherever, I don't care" she began to walk.

He walked beside her for a while, not sure where he was going, likely she didn't know either. But that worry could wait until later. "So what's your day been like?"

She smiled at the memory...

_Waiting on the Corporal, following the Corporal, nagging the Corporal and messing around with his head. He ignored it for the first while, until it was noon and she was still behind him, waiting. She never for a minute thought it was creepy, at all. Annoying him was the best dark pleasure she'd ever experienced, the way he acted as though he didn't care all the time. She could tell his patience was slowly cracking. She'd planned doing something worse to annoy him, messing about with his cleaning 'rituals'. But that could certainly wait._

"It was fine."

"..."  _Shit... What should I say?_

"What's wrong with Armin?" She couldn't help but ask.

He shrugged. "No idea, he been acting like that around you too?"

She didn't answer, frowning down at the floor.

"Who knows, he's probably found something out and doesn't want to tell us. It's not the first time he's kept something to himself because he doesn't want to bother others."

"I hate it" she mumbled.

He nearly grinned.  _Cute..._ "It's always worked out in the end."

She hummed, conflicted about his statement. "Was there a reason you wanted to talk?"  _I know what you want to talk about, I think I can handle it now..._

"Yeah... About the kiss..." He looked away when he spoke.

"Do you regret it?" She asked calmly, hinting at a saddened tone.

He stopped, and stared at her.

She stopped, looking at him worriedly.

"I do, yes" he answered, looking her in the eye.

"Oh."  _Was it that bad? It's not like I've done that sort of thing before._

"What about you?" He asked through nervous teeth.

She thought a moment. "Not really..." She spoke gently.

"Really?" He sounded cheerily, but more surprised that happy.

She smiled lightly "it happened, and there's nothing I can do to change that fact. So I don't regret it. I... I guess I'm almost glad, in a way."

He didn't want to speak, if he spoke he would interrupt her soft voice.

"I didn't really think it would happen, and I didn't really mind that. Things were always a little more complicated than I'd wished them to be, but no one gives a fuck what you want right?" She lightly shrugged, looking down.

"Maybe" he huffed a near laugh.  _I give a fuck._

She looked back up at him. "Is it really that wrong to have liked it, even if it wasn't quite what you expected?"  _Entirely different to how you wanted it._

"I'm sorry it wasn't what you expected" he sighed, lightly blushing. "Wasn't how I wanted it to happen."

 _You wanted it to happen? Then why do you regret it?_ "What exactly... Are your feelings towards me?" Her brows furrowed, but her voice was still like soft silk.

He forced himself to keep eye contact, wanting to tell her  _I love you_ but what came out was a nervous joke "three years and you never noticed, huh?"

She slowly nodded, guessing his real answer. "What exactly are you expecting...?"

"I don't  _expect_   _anything_ " he answered bluntly and honesty.

She looked away, readying a heavy sigh.

"Mikasa" he hummed roughly as he took a step closer to hold her upper arm.

She looked at his hand that not too firmly grasped her arm, then back up at him.

"I won't tell you that I love you. I care about you a lot, and I mean a lot. It's not like I know exactly what love is, because I can only guess."

She wanted to cry, but couldn't, her eyes only widened. "Love..." She whispered, wanting to spit the word for all it's bastard horrors.

He let go of her arm, and she held the same spot. He frowned, worried about her reaction.

"Love is nice, it's warm, comforting, when it's there... It's  _everything._ Unfortunately the world isn't kind to such a gentle thing like love. It's cruel, with a sick sense of what it thinks is mercy.

"Mikasa..." He lowered his head wearily.

"I hoped you didn't love me."  _Everything for the sake of love will end savagely._ She thought of her parents; to her adoptive mother;  _Eren_.

He waited a while, looking at her grim expression. "I want to be with you."

She tugged on her scarf, lifting it to her lips.

 _She was in love with him..._ Jean thought, knowing it for the worst part of three years. It haunted him, knowing he could never even hold a conversation with her because of Eren. He hated him, to an extent. "You're still in love with him" the words slipped out.

Her eyes flashed, confused but secretly knowing. "Who...?"

He paused. "Eren."

She lowered her hands to her sides and spoke sternly "he was my brother."

"Adoptive brother" he corrected.

"He was family, the last of my family. I love him."  _To love or be in love? I love him, that much I know._

He flinched, knowing he crossed the line.  _I want to understand, I want to help._

"Jean" she returned to a soft voice once again. She took his hand in both her hers. "I can't."

Her hands were so soft, her voice was so soft. He wanted to feel content with this moment, but her words tore that feeling away from him.

"You're not a bad person, not to me. Maybe, if things were different, I would have said yes... But they aren't and I just can't commit to a relationship now. There's something I have to do."

He was desperate for the slightest glimmer of hope. "What is that something?"

"Win this war against the Titans" she spoke with certainty.  _That's what I owe him. I couldn't save his life. Defeating the Titans and liberating humanity from these Walls is the only thing I have to do now._ "It's my duty."

Jean studied her eyes, she was so serious about her statements.

"Jean, it's your duty too. You joined the Scouting Legion, knowing the risks, knowing what you were going to face. Didn't you say that you didn't want all those soldiers to die in vain?"

"I didn't like the thought of you being one of them."

She pulled back "is that... Why you really joined...?" Her voice was in disbelief and horror.

He held her hands with his free one, stroking her fingers. "Partly."

"Jean..."

"Three years and I finally got a kiss. I hate the circumstances, but I'm happy you didn't regret it, at the very least" he smirked.

She frowned, staring up at him.

"We'll fight then, right?"

She slowly nodded.

"I'll fight, with you, and everybody else and do my best. Nothing's going to change that, you know. I know what I have to do, and I know to keep that separate from what I want to do. Even though I've done a shitty job so far."

She forced a smile but released honest words from her lips "you saved my life, back in Trost. I don't consider that a shitty job, do you?"

He reluctantly grinned. "Not a chance."

"Friends?" She asked slowly.

His head tilted into a nod, with a slightly pained expression on his face. "So long as there's no awkwardness after this... I do still want to be with you, even if you don't see it that way."

She pulled her hands away and tucked them in between his arms, wrapping her arms around his torso.  _No awkwardness._

Jean was caught by surprise when she suddenly hugged him. He found himself frozen in place, looking down at her black hair.  _Just hug her back, dammit!_  So he listened and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer. It felt nice. Not magical or spectacular or wonderful. Just really nice having her pressed against him in what she thought was a friendly hug. To him, it felt more like a final farewell to his possible love life.

She released herself and he was forced to reluctantly let her go.

"I'll see you tomorrow then?" She asked.

"You mean I can't come back to your room?" He tried to joke, giving a smirk.

She didn't notice the joke, only hearing the words as plain as day. Her eyes widened and her face reddened.

"Uh, shit, sorry. Kind of emotional there... I thought a joke would... Just forget it" he sighed, hitting his head.

She smiled, finally understanding "okay."

"I'll see you tomorrow" he nodded. ... "Wait, where are we exactly? Shit..."

...

"R-Reiner, Bertholdt... Could I talk to you?" Armin followed them to their room. He had no choice but to look up at the too giants.

"What's up, Armin?" Reiner asked, looking far down at a nervous looking Armin.

"It's Annie." He answered quickly.

Bertholdt seemed more attentive, more awake. Reiner looked down, frowning. "Annie?"

"She told me."

Bertholdt unconsciously flinched, with his lips parted to take in a small, inaudible sharp breath.  _Armin knows... He knows about us. Annie told him? What? I don't understand, she wouldn't tell anyone, she barely even talks to us anymore!_

Reiner folded his arms, and lifted a brow. "What are you talking about? Told you what?"

Armin studied their movements, their body language, their expressions. He noticed Bertholdt tense at his words, he was always the more nervous of the two, or rather, less confident. Reiner, however, seemed genuinely confused in his opinion. "You're..." He bit his bottom lip, and glanced up and down the hallway. No one else was there. "Titans..."

Even Reiner stubbornly flinched at the accusation, staring down grudgingly at Armin, but with a rueful sense of fear.

Armin looked up, fearful himself, his eyes almost pleading, not wanting to see or hear what he knew was true.

"Wh-what did you just say?" Bertholdt breathed.

Armin couldn't bring himself to repeat the accusation. "I've been writing to Annie for a while now... She wrote back in her last letter, she told me about you guys..."

"Bet she didn't say anything about herself, heartless as always..." Reiner spoke, more to himself and Bertholdt than to Armin.

"So it's true..." Armin breathed, pulling himself back from them slightly.

They both stared down at him a moment, unsure of what to say or do.

"I've told some other's where I've been, if anything happens to me, they'll know" Armin lied again as convincingly as he could.  _Why? Why you guys? You're not killers, or traitors... Your friends, your comrades... You actually cared..._

Reiner finally spoke "Armin, Annie's playing a sick joke on you, she's cruel that way, gets a kick out of mischief."

Armin didn't speak, only stared without blinking.  _You've already had a gap of time to deny it, why now?_

"Relax, Armin. We're not Titans." Reiner spoke deeply.

Armin glanced over to Bertholdt, who still looked nervously between himself and Reiner.

"Honestly, just go to bed, you must be tired or something" Reiner concluded.

Armin bit his lip and backed away. "Night..." He barely managed to say as he left.

Reiner and Bertholdt stared at each other worriedly.

"Shit..." Reiner finally said. "Has she seriously told him?"

Bertholdt looked down, not wanting to believe it.

...

Armin had been in bed for nearly an hour, he couldn't sleep.  _Bertholdt was so nervous... But he's always like that under pressure... Reiner, he was shocked by what I said too... It was too calm though, if they were really innocent, wouldn't they be a little more upset by being accused of something so serious? They didn't deny at first when they had the chance... Not until I mentioned I told people where I was... Did they suddenly feel threatened? Does that mean they were thinking of doing something to me before I said that? I can't think that. I know it's them... They're the only ones that could be..._

The door clicked and creaked open, he glanced up with a racing heart.  _It's just Mikasa... Where's she been?_

She closed the door and stood silently looking in his direction, almost completely shadowed in the darkness of the room, if it weren't for her obvious frame, he would be worried. "Armin, I can see you're awake..." She sighed.

"Y-yeah... Where were you? It's quite late..." Armin pulled himself up to sit.

"With Jean" she answered, walking towards the cupboard to find her night clothes.

"Oh... How-how did that go?" He asked, rubbing his sticky eyelids.

"Fine" she picked out some random long shirt and baggy pants.

"So are you and him..."

"I said no. Could you look away for a few minutes?"

He looked away "I can't see anyway, you know..."

"I know" she smiled, beginning to undress.

"So... You don't like him."

"... Not in that way"

"Oh... He was upset, I'm guessing..."

"... Do you want all of the details?"

"Do you want to tell me all of the details?"

She finished changing into her night clothes, pulling her shirt over her head. "I think I might have took one of your shirts by accident, Armin, sorry." She felt the fabric, it was unlike her own.

"It-it's alright..."

She strode over to his bed and hopped in next to him, to his shock and surprise.

"Mikasa!" He said above his usual tone.

"Shh" she put her finger over her lips.

He nodded, she hadn't slept in his bed in a long time, he hadn't expected it. "Is something wrong, Mikasa."

"Is there?" She asked, tucking herself in.

He frowned, uncomfortable.

"Could you sit with your back against my chest?"

"What?!"

"Shush, Armin" she nudged. "I'm not going to hurt you."

He reluctantly shifted between her legs with his back against her chest like she said.  _What are you doing, Mikasa? This is weird..._

"Just moved forward a bit" she sort of asked.

And he did so. "Mikasa... What are you-"

Her fingers laced through his blonde hair, playing with it gently. "If I give you the details on my evening, you have to give me the details on what your so worried about, okay?"

This felt nice, awkward, but nice. It was such a nice feeling to have your hair played with. He didn't want to tell her, she had enough problems; Special Ops Squad. training, Lance Corporal Levi, the expedition, Jean... But knowing her, she would worry more if he didn't tell her, and a worried Mikasa is a dangerous Mikasa. "Okay..."

"Good" she nodded, looping a curl in his hair. "You start."

"Couldn't you...?"

"It'll take too long to talk about, and you'll fall asleep and won't tell me."

He sighed, there was no escaping it. He took a deep breath and began. "Hanji asked me to keep an eye on everyone in our class who joined the Scouting Legion, to find out if any of them were spies or Titan Shifters..."

"Mhm" she nodded, tucking some loose locks around front behind his ears.

"Back in Trost... We were leaving HQ, Annie, Reiner and Bertholdt stayed behind, they were arguing about something... Annie told me they'd catch up, so I left. And then the Armored Titan appeared, then the Female Titan... They were the last ones to scale the Wall after that, nobody had seen them during the attack. I... I confronted Reiner and Bertholdt earlier about my suspicions..."

"You what?" She stopped, speaking fearfully.

"I told them me and Annie were sending letters, and she told me they were the Titan Shifters... I was bluffing, I only sent one letter, a while ago, and never got one back. It was just a bluff, to see what their reactions would be..."

"Did they hurt you?" She stroke his hair again.

"No... But they didn't deny it... Reiner just said  _bet she didn't say anything about herself, heartless as always..._ They only started to deny it when I told them I'd told others where I was and that if anything happened to me, people would put the pieces together."

"They are the spies" she nodded, confirming it out loud.

"I... I'm more sure now... I'm going to tell Hanji tomorrow. If they turn out to be innocent, I'll feel really bad, but they have nothing to worry about really... But if they are spies, that killed so many of us..."

She felt him tremble "don't worry Armin, I'm here." She wrapped her arms around him tightly, resting her chin on his shoulder.

"Could you... Could you tell me about what happened with Jean?" He asked quietly, wanting to move on from the worry.

She nodded against his shoulder, and then rested her head back against the pillow, letting Armin free from her hold. He didn't move though. "We went a walk somewhere, I asked about you, he said you didn't want to burden us with your problems" she flicked the top of his head "then we started talking about the kiss, he said he regretted it, and I said I didn't."

"And you don't?"

"No, I won't say I didn't enjoy it, it was messy, but full of life..."

Armin chuckled lightly at the thought.

"Then he said  _it wasn't how I wanted it to happen_ , and then I asked him how he felt towards me... Is something wrong, Armin" she looked down at him.

"I was just thinking... Jean won't be happy about me knowing all of this..." He grinned.

She smiled "he said that he doesn't love me, but cares a lot about me, because he doesn't know enough about love to call it that in front of me... I told him about love... I remembered... everyone I loved, and how they were taken away from me. I told him, that I hoped he didn't love me, and he said he wanted to be with me."

"And you said you didn't want to be with him?" His voice was quieter, more careful in choice of words.

She waited a minute, remembering his accusation. "How do you think I viewed Eren?"

Armin shifted his head to looked up at her, but couldn't quite see her face. "You cared deeply for him."

"Do you think I was in love with him?"

... "... I read that being in love is for you know... lovers. Feeling strongly towards someone else, you apparently idolize them in a way, unable to see their flaws, think less of yourself in trying to impress them, have sexual desires for, and put their them before yourself. Like our parents went through that sort of thing."

"..."

"I think you were in love..."

"Oh... So that's what being in love is..."

"It's only my opinion, Mikasa, not a fact."

"You're always right though... I'm in love with my brother."

"You weren't really related though... I think it's normal that you fell in love with him."

She was silent, thoughtful.  _Makes it harder though, knowing I loved him like that._ "I really do miss him, still."

"I do too..."

They stared at the ceiling for a while.

Mikasa licked her dry lips and thought back to her evening, she said she would tell him. "Jean made the same guess... I told him I couldn't be with him, that I had to defeat the Titans and free humanity from the Walls."

"Isn't that what Eren wanted... Not what you wanted" Armin noted gently.

"...It's all I can do now. He saved me all those years ago, kept me safe, gave me a home when I lost mine... When he died... He lost those dreams of escaping, of saving everyone. But I'm still here, still owing my life to him. I have to do this, it's what I was supposed to do, all I have left to live for."

"He wanted you to be safe though... He never wanted you to join the Scouting Legion, me neither... That's why he stopped mentioning going outside the Walls..."

"Yet here we are, Armin. You, me and everyone else. Humanity finally won in Trost, Eren helped, he's still here, with me, I know it. We can win."

"I guess..."

"Armin, I need to tell you something, and I don't want you to forget it... Eren told me, he taught me how to go on even when I feel helpless. You must fight, if you win; you live, if you lose; you die. But if you don't fight, you can't win. I've never forgotten."

"I might not be able to win, but I refuse to give up again."

She smiled "good. I've said it before, but you're all I have left of my family, in a way. I'll take care of you."

"Please just remember to think of your own safety as well, Mikasa..."

"Do you want me to tell you the rest of what happened with Jean?"

"If you want..."

"Okay... I told him he had a duty as a soldier too, and that he joined because he didn't want people to die in vain. He said I was partly the reason he joined, because he didn't want me to end up like them. He then told me he was happy I didn't regret the kiss, and that he was going to fight, even though he's done a bad job so far, so I told him he saved me in Trost from the Female Titan and that it wasn't a bad job, he seemed happy and agreed. He said he still wanted to be with me, even if not in that way, I hugged him and went realised we were lost. That's why I'm back so late."

Armin nodded "Jean's in love with you, you know. It developed from back at the beginning of training. He's really serious about you now."

"What do you want me to do, Armin... Tell him I love him back when I don't?"

"No, no... Just, understand he'll do anything for you."

"... Goodnight then, Armin."

"Will you be sleeping over here?" He asked, rolling off of her.

"If it's alright..."

"Of course" Armin nodded, pulling the covers close to his face. "Night, Mikasa."

"Night, Armin."


	25. Stress

Annie let out a long and stagnant sigh.

She sat in her bed, as it was late in the comfortable district of Stohess. Her fingers laced around the single sheet of paper, wondering whether or not to tear it into a million pieces. Why would she get some sort of letter?

Her curiousity got the better of her this time, again.

She focused her eyes of the neat and steady writing.

 ** _Dear Annie,_** _Dear?_ she thought with a frown.  _Why dear?_

**_I know you're considering to rip this up, but since you're reading this, you probably won't. I just wanted to write to you, when I saw Jean writing to Marco, I just got the idea to write to you, in case you missed us._ ** _I'm considering it, yes, the more you talk. You can be a real idiot, some of the time._

**_I'm hoping the Military Police was the right choice for you, and that you're feeling well. We've had some troubles so far, I got sick for a little while, but I'm better now, so please don't worry about me :)_** _Worry about you... Why should I worry? You're nothing of special importance to me._ A voice itched inside of her, almost foreign.  _You're still reading though, Annie._

She pushed the paper down onto her covers, away from her view. She was more tempted to rip it up now.  _Why, Armin? What is this? Why bother with this?_ She clutched the paper, pulling its sides apart.  _Annie, you're actually a good person, aren't you?_ She heard him say, and stopped. He said that to her once before when he told her he was joining the Scouting Legion, and she, to her own surprise, subtly suggested against it.  _You pretend you don't care, but I can tell you do_ his voice echoed again.

_Armin, I hate you._

_**There was a party last night, Connie and Sasha got some wine, got drunk and Sasha sort of got into some trouble with one of the top Squad Leaders... No real surprise there.** Not in the slightest._

_**Mikasa and Jean had some to drink, and Jean is apparently French, he ended up saying something in that language to Mikasa and he ended up kissing Mikasa last night when we went to our rooms.** How adorable. _Her nose wrinkled.

_**I'm a little worried about them. I feel bad for telling anyone that, but you can keep secrets, right? I know you will, Annie, thank you. :)** _

She stopped reading again, and scratched her nose.  _You have no idea, Armin. You're far too innocent. far too caring._

**_We're heading out on an expedition soon, so I thought I should send you a letter before then. Thanks for reading this, we do miss you, I think you might be missing us, or maybe are worried, if you read this far. I honestly tried to keep this as short as possible, knowing you must be busy._ **

She found herself letting out a sigh. Acknowledging the fact Armin was getting quite a reaction out of her with something as stupid as a letter. So what if she so happened to care about him, if just a little.  _I'll tell you what; he's going to die, like everyone else._

_**Also, Reiner and Bertholdt said hello, I think they are really missing you.** _

_Bastards._ She thought, cringing.  _What are they doing? Idiots, talking to Armin. Reiner, losing his mind, and Bertholdt, looming over everything with that aweful stare. Them, missing me? Far from it, they just want to keep an eye on me, make sure I'm doing my duty. What right do they have to judge me and my place in the mission? What happened to those old times..._

**_Thanks again, Armin._ **

She rubbed at her nose with her sleeve.  _Don't be an idiot._

_..._

The morning leaked through the window, highlighting the many different shades in the room.

Mikasa was first awake that morning after her talk with Jean the night before. She lay on her back, looking up at the ceiling with half open lids. After a few minutes, her eyes glanced down, feeling a weight on her. Armin had his arm tossed over her torso, with his face resting against her rising chest. Her eyes at first widened at the sight, but soon softened when she heard light breathing and felt each and every breath he took while his chest rose and fell slowly in time with hers.

She smiled warmly.  _Armin..._ It didn't feel that weird, she had moved him closer to her during the night, she just wanted him close to her, where he was safe and warm and peaceful. "Armin" she whisped down at him, while her fingers laced through his blonde hair like they had done the night before.

Armin stirred, hearing his name being called softly and feeling a gentle rumble beneath him. His eyes opened slowly in a daze  _it's so warm..._ "Hi..." he answered in a low yawn, closing his eyes again.

Her cheeks fluttered. "Armin..."

His eyes opened again, and he turned his head to find the source of the more than pretty voice. "AH!" He screamed, jumping away from her faster than his conscious mind could calculate.

She flinched with surprise "Armin!" She called to him, moving closer to where he pressed himself against the wall. She stopped in front of him, leaning on her knees. "What's wrong?"

His lips parted and both of his brows elevated "n-nothing."  _Did you not see where I was?! My face was on your-_... His face flushed instantly, and he turned himself away from her instantly "Sorry" he forced out of his teeth.

She tilted her head to side, pulling a face. "Sorry?" She dug through her memories, trying to work out what he was apologizing for.

"I was... I must have just moved in my sleep... Nevermind it, I don't know what I was-"

"I moved you, Armin, while you were sleeping" she quickly understood. "Did I make you uncomfortable?"

He looked back at her, his body visibly relaxing.  _No, you- Yes, I-..._ "Why did you move me? Were you cold again?"

She looked down at her hands "no, I don't know why." She turned from him, getting out of the covers and up from the bed.  _Was it bad?_  "I won't do it again, sorry" she hid her faint, but still there, blush.  _Have I just been pushing boundaries again?..._ She stood there for a while, thoughtful.

 _It's okay, Mikasa..._ Armin nudged closer, until his legs hung off the edge of the messy bed.

Mikasa looked down at him, meeting his eyes.

He offered a smile.  _Please don't be gloomy._

She returned it.  _Thanks, Armin, I'm glad you're here._

_..._

_"I HATE YOU!"_

Mikasa could help but hear behind the door to the Special Operations Squads' meeting room. She had been walking along the hallway, rather calmly and almost peacefully when the screech infiltrated her ears.  _What was that?_ She paused, waiting outside to listen further. A crash was heard, a loud and obnoxious smash of what sounded like pottery.

Her eyes widened, she was both confused and shocked. She opened the door, peering inside cautiously.

Petra was trying to hit Auruo, at the other side of the room from where everyone else was sitting. She walked over quietly, raising a brow at Petra and Auruo's squabble.

"Every. Little. Thing. I've put up with it for I don't know how long, years, years! How much of this do I have to take, huh?!" Petra yelled, kicking him in the leg.

Auruo cringed, the kick must have hurt. "What? Can't you even take a joke every once in a while? Is your brain as small as your height that you don't-"

"This is what I'm talking about, Auruo! Don't get me started on the other stuff, that I will most certainly not mention here!"

"You're such a brat sometimes..."

"Yeah?! Well you can be a real asshole!"

Mikasa stared, noticing the rest of her squad doing nothing about the fight.  _I don't think I've seen them fight like this..._ She looked back to Levi, who she expected to do be the one t act, but he looked like he wasn't getting up anytime soon.

"What's going on?" She asked them quietly.

Gunther turned to her "can't you see?"

Erd glanced between them, before speaking "Auruo must have done something, and set her off. No idea, we were just sitting, he said something I couldn't quite hear and she just started shouting at him."

She nodded once, looking back towards the happy couple.

"This isn't the first time this has happened, so don't worry."

Auruo held her head back, while she attempted to punch at him.

 _Screw this_ she thought, getting up.  _I can't just sit here and watch this._  She walked over to the two and picked up Petra, throwing her over her shoulder. "Corporal, I'll be back a little later." She addressed Levi, heading for the door.

Levi watched them leave, giving a slightly nod.  _I can think again._ He didn't like interfering with others relationships, that was something they had to sort out themselves.

The rest of the squad watched with surprise as Mikasa carried Petra out of the room.

...

"Mikasa, you can put me down..." Petra sighed, her head falling down Mikasa's back.

"Alright" Mikasa agreed in a low tone, they had made it outside, close to the stables. It was a good place to cool down, so she dropped Petra in front of her with an audible plop.

"You didn't have to be so forceful, Mikasa..." Petra stood, rubbing the dirt off of her uniform.

"Are you okay?" Mikasa asked, raising a brow, hinting to what happened with Auruo.

Petra pulled some ruffled ginger locks behind her ear, looking over to Mikasa shyly. "He's just been driving me crazy."

Mikasa stood still, waiting for a reply Petra didn't want to give. "He's always drove you crazy though."

"Well I've been having a bad week, that's all. I just... got a bit overemotional... You know?"

"Oh..." She understood, but kept herself stern. "But I've never seen you and him like that before, even the Corporal looked surprised."

Her head lowered, and she gave a nerving sigh "Auruo just likes to tease me, he goes too far sometimes... It's all those little things he does, just to annoy me. And the worst part about it is it actually works! He knows just how to get under my skin."

Mikasa slowly nodded. "I think you threw your cup at him..."

"Don't worry about that, he probably enjoyed it..." She growled. "Dammit... I told Levi I'd clean that up!" She whined.

"Do you want me to beat him up for you?"

Petra honestly couldn't tell if she was joking or not "um... That won't be necessary... I'll just deal with him tonight."

"You sleep in the same room?" She asked in a quieter, more curious tone.

"Yeah, you sleep in the same room as Armin, don't you? Swap?" She smiled.

Mikasa shook her head silently.

"Only kidding" she sighed, looking away "to be honest, I don't think I could stay mad at him, even if I really want to, and believe me, I do. He makes me so mad sometimes..."

"What did he do to set you off?"

Petra closed her eyes, scratching her head. "Promise not to tell anyone? Not even Armin, and I mean it..."

She nodded.

"He said..." She shuddered at the memory. "It doesn't matter the details... He's just a bit of a perv sometimes... But not in front of others, in front of others he just winds me up... Normally."

"Hm."

Petra shook her head "he's probably just frustrated, or something, he's actually not too bad a guy, you know? I mean, why else would I share a room with him?"

"I would never share a room with him."

She giggled "If I met him now, neither would I. But he wasn't always so much of a..."

"Asshole?"

"Yeah... It's not until I joined the Corporal's squad that he changed."

"Sounds like he might just be trying to impress you... or I don't know, get your attention at least?"

"Well, he's got it."

Mikasa smiled, confused.

"I should probably call a truce, he's an idiot, but I know he means well, in the end."

"Reminds me of Eren" she smiled, "except he was the one to rush into danger to save someone, forgetting about his own safety. He was a bit of an idiot that way... My precious idiot. He meant well, in the end."  _I guess that means we're all idiots._

Petra waited, seeing the memories flash before Mikasa's eyes. "We should head back, before the Corporal has both our hides."  _I'm glad you're being so open... It's nice to know you trust me enough to talk about such things..._

"Yeah, let's go."

...

"Hey, Armin... Anything happen last night?" Jean asked, sitting before his breakfast.

Armin coughed on a bit, before wiping his mouth "What do you mean?"

Jean shook his head slowly, looking back down at his food "nothing, just thought you might have heard something from Mikasa, considering you two are so close."

Armin shrugged.

"I'm actually beginning to wonder... Either your lovers or you're a girl, or maybe just a guy that's not into girls?"

He coughed again, more violently. "What are you saying?!"

"Hey, Armin, Jean."

Both looked up, seeing Reiner and Bertholdt sitting down opposite them.

"Hey" Jean replied, caught a little off guard by their appearance.

"You feeling alright today, Armin?" Reiner asked.

Armin watched them both, before answering steadily "I might be a little tired still."

"Sorry to hear, busy day ahead" Reiner answered, letting his arms roll onto the table, taking up some space. "I might be a bit tired too, mind you."

Armin nodded, looking down at his remaining food.  _Might as well talk, I need to know still._ "Hey, I was wondering, and I don't mean to bring up any bad thoughts or memories, but could you tell me about your hometown? Before the fall of Maria I mean..." He looked up, tracing between Reiner and Bertholdt's eyes.

"I... Don't really remember much about it, sorry" Reiner answered easily, after thinking for a moment.

Bertholdt looked to his friend, distressed, but Reiner questioned his stare.  _He's lost again... He's forgot..._ "It was... I remember, our houses were close to this huge forest, we used to dare each other to climb to the top... I never reach it, except one time, when Berik helped me... They were really tall. There was a lake nearby too, we swam there during the summer, when we used to slack off, and the mountains... Felt like we were really small back then."

Armin took note that Bertholdt hadn't took his eyes off of Reiner once while he spoke.  _He's speaking to Reiner, trying to remind him, while ignoring me... Does Reiner really not remember where they came from? The way Bertholdt describes it..._ "Sounds beautiful."

"It was" he finally looked back to Armin, before looking down.

"Perhaps one day we can make anew, find someplace beautiful where we can all laugh about this as old, retired soldiers" Jean smirked, planting his chin into his palm.

Reiner nodded "yeah."

Bertholdt looked away, with a blank expression.

Armin watched, surprised.  _It's almost like their strangers. Bertholdt looks so lost. What's wrong with them? Is something wrong? Bertholdt wants Reiner to remember... Has he lost his memories? His past?... Who he once was? Bloodshed does that to people..._ "The salt filled ocean" he smiled sadly.  _We'll see it one day._

They all watched him, questioningly.

"Me and Eren swore we'd see it, he didn't believe me that it existed, but I told him it does, because of this book my grandfather hid in his basement. That stupid old book is what brought us here, looking for a way out, searching for something that might not even exist" he chuckled, but with little humour.

"Armin... Are you alright, what's brought all this on?" Jean asked, holding his shoulder.

"I'm just tired still, I guess" he looked up to Reiner and Bertholdt. "I could be dreaming."

...

"Hanji, are you here?" Armin called into her office, peeping from behind the half open door.

"Come in, Armin, don't be so shy" she called him in happily, sitting at her desk with a bundle of books and documents piled before her.

He walked in, closing the door behind him like he'd found it. "Where's Moblit?"

"He's a busy man, and there's no need for him to be stuck in here with me and my books. Care to read any of them? They're all written by me, about my opinions and philosophies about the Titans."

"Maybe" he nodded, walking over to an empty chair by her desk.

"Something bothering you, my little scamp?"

"I think I've discovered the spies identities..."

"Oh" her mood changed visibly, more serious. "Please continue."

"I believe Reiner Braun and Bertholdt Fubar of the 104th Training squad, who joined the Scouting Legion, are spies, Titan shifters."

"The Armored and Colossal?"

"I'm almost certain."

"Any ideas about the Female Titan?"

"..." He frowned. "Annie Leonhardt, also of the 104th, who joined the Military Police."

She nodded. "It must be hard to admit it, I can tell you were close to them."

He looked away from her "we weren't that close, but, they never really seemed like killers, why would killers help those they intend to kill?"

"It's impossible to understand it at this stage, Armin."

"If they did do it... Five years ago, when they arrived, killed a fifth of humanity in the matter of two years... They must have just been children, like us, back then... What drives a child to do something like that? Genocide? It doesn't feel right."

"We can question later, Armin, now, we must act upon the knowledge we've gained, plan ahead."  _Could be linked to the Titans lack of mercy or empathy, or at least the wider majority or Titans._

"Plan, yeah... But what plan?" He looked her in the eye through her thick glasses.

"We've been hoping to gain a name or two, that's why we've held back some information from the expedition plans" she stood, grasping her hands behind her back before pacing around the room. "We should bring this to Erwin's attention, and draw up the final stages of the plan."

"The expedition? What will happen to them? What about capturing an Abnormal?"

"Plans often change, expect the unexpected, Armin. That will ensure your survival, and I've really grown to like you, so you'd better."

He nodded, hoping for her to answer his questions.

"We'll be snaking out the wolves in sheep's skin. Now, you need to tell me how you've come to this conclusion, Armin, before we bring this to Erwin's attention."

"Y-yes, Hanji. Well..."


	26. The Old Trio

_"Armin..."_

_"Mikasa?"_

_"What's going on?"_

_He stared at her, looked deep into those big grey eyes of hers, they looked so heartbroken. He felt bad for her, it was as if she didn't understand anything, much resembling a helpless newborn. Much like one of the kittens he'd seen the other day around the corner, the other mewling for some spare food, to which he offered his lunch._

_"Why is Eren so angry with me?" She stared at her feet, with a sad look spread across her face.._

_Armin paused a moment, tilting his head, "he's not angry with you. He's angry with himself."_

_She clutched her newly bruised cheek, rubbing at it with the tips of her fingers._

_Armin scratched the back of his head, looking away. "I-I'm sorry."_

_"You shouldn't apologize, it's not your fault."_

_"It is... This always happens to me, and I know I'm not strong enough to defend myself against them... But you and Eren, always there to fight for me..." He let a false chuckle escape his cords. "I guess I know how Eren's feeling."_

_She glanced over to him, giving a questioningly raised brow._

_"He wasn't able to protect you, he couldn't prevent one of them hitting you. He's angry at himself for that, that's the only reason he ever acts angry with you, he just cares."_

_She wanted to smile, barely making it._

_He noticed though, and offered one in return._

_"I'm weak too then" she shrugged. "I guess."_

_"No you're not, you're tougher than Eren! Eren's our courage, and you're our strength"_ And I'm... Useless.

_"Then you are our wisdom" she blinked, helping him finish. "We aren't that weak, we have each other, we're a family."_

_"I'm not wise..." He lowered his head. "And I'm not strong like you too."_

_She frowned, grasping his hand. "Let's go find Eren, courage is weak without strength and wisdom, just like strength is weak without courage and wisdom, or wisdom is weak without courage and strength."_

_He blinked, slowly nodding while he followed her._ That was weird...  _He thought to himself._

...

_"Hey... Eren, could I ask you something?" Armin asked on one rainy day in Eren's room, while Mikasa was called by Carla; Eren's, and Mikasa's, mother into the other room to help with something - the boys didn't know what._

_"Sure, something wrong?" Eren asked, crossing his legs under him on the bed._

_Armin sat across from him, his knees holding up his chin as he blushed and avoided eyes contact with his best friend. "N-nothing's wrong... It's just I... It's stupid."_

_Eren arched a brow, tilting his head to the side. "If you brought it up, can't be that stupid, you've started telling me so you might as well finish." He picked up a cup of water and took a large sip._

_"I think I... Like Mikasa."_

_Eren coughed, nearly choking down his drink. He grinned "that's good, she'd be glad to hear you don't not like her..."_

_Armin chuckled nervously. "Not like-..." He shook his head. "Yeah, nevermind, it was stupid."_

_"Wait... Okay... So you_ like _Mikasa?..."_

_"..."_

_"Seriously?"_

_"But I think she likes you, Eren, so it doesn't matter." He tucked his face further into the fabric covering his knees._

_"Ew, no, Mikasa's my sister, and I'm like, her brother. You know, like you and me are brothers" Eren smiled widely._

_"But... If I'm your brother, and Mikasa's your sister, doesn't that make her my sister too..." Armin couldn't help but laugh lightly at Eren's logic, or rather, lack of._

_"Ha. Ha. Ha... Seriously though, if you like her, then why don't you just tell her?"_

_"I... You don't get it, Eren... It's not that simple..."_

_"Want me to talk to her?"_

_"NO!"_

_"Whoa, whoa, calm down, I won't tell her..."_

_"Thank you..." Armin mumbled._

_"So why?"_

_"Excuse me?"_

_"Don't play dumb, Armin, I can tell, why do you like Mikasa?" He smiled, leaning in, more intrigued. As if an idea had struck him, almost._

_Armin shrugged again "she's... kinda pretty, and she's different to other girls I've seen around... Like, strong and sure minded."_

_Eren sniggered. "Armin, you'd be really surprised how much she's just a normal girl."_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"Like... She's... Not sure minded really... I'm sorry, I can't tell you much, it's not for me to say... Maybe if you hang out with her more, you know, just you and her, you'd understand."_

_"Just... Me and her?"_

_"Yeah, like go hang out in town or something, without me."_

_"Like a date..." Armin said slowly, as if unsure his answer was correct._

_Eren laughed "I guess, yeah, what's so wrong with that?"_

_"Well... For one; she never, ever leaves your side, or rather never intentionally, two; she's imprinted on you like... I don't want to say duckling, but that's the best example... And thirdly; I don't think she'd want to hang out with me... I'm not the most interesting person in her life."_

_"Well, Mr. Smarty-pants, one; I think you're the most interesting person in the entire world!" Eren raised his hands in a wave to emphasise his idea of the world. "Two; it would be good for her to hang around someone that's not... me. It's not that I don't like her hanging around, it's just... I'm not used to having an actual sibling."_

_Armin didn't look so sure of himself._

_"Don't worry, I've got a plan..."_

_The door creaked open, and Mikasa entered. Both boys tensed up, especially Armin. She closed the door and stood there for a few moments, shyly. "Is something wrong?" She asked quietly._

_"No, no, I was just telling Eren a scary story I read" Armin smiled awkwardly, scratching the back of his head._

_"Oh..." She walked closer, sitting in between them._

_"Yeah, want to hear it?" Armin asked nervously._

_Eren smiled, trying not to laugh._

_"Sure" she shrugged._

_"Well, um, there are these large creature that are like lizards, but have leathery wings, sharp fangs and talons and breathe fire! They kidnap and eat people... But there's this reckless hero that's trying to slay them, he's just lost everything... And has realized that in order to save the one he loves, he's going to have to make a great sacrifice..."_

_"Sounds sort of farfetched" Mikasa noted quietly._

_A droplet of sweat ran down Armin's brow, but he smiled. "Yeah, I know. But the point of these kinds of stories are to teach us lessons, and entertain us."_

_"With fire breathing lizards and an unlikable hero?"_

_"Reckless..." Armin correctly under his breath._

_She shrugged._

_Eren giggled childishly._

_..._

_"Hey, Mikasa. I think you should hang out with Armin today, I'm gonna help my dad out in the next town" Eren smiled, holding her hand._

_Her eyes widened "what?"_

_"I'm going to go with my dad on his rounds."_

_She searched his turquoise eyes for answers, any and all answers. "B-but-"_

_"Armin's been kind of lonely lately, and I want to see my dad more, he's talking about the basement and I'm sure he'll show me what he's hiding there soon!" His smile widened._

_She lowered her head._

_"Don't be so sad, Mikasa."_

_"I just, want to be with you."_

_He frowned, leaning closer to keep eye contact "it can't always be like that, please, could you just do this for me?"_

_"... Okay, I'll do it for you."_

_"Great, Armin's waiting at the usual place."_

_"How do you know tha-"_

_"I think I just heard dad calling me! See you, Mikasa, and have fun!"_

_Before Mikasa could protest or do anything else, Eren ran off._

_Mikasa sighed sadly. "Eren... Please don't go..."_ _"Mikasa... Hey."_

_Mikasa looked up, seeing Armin walking closer. She looked at him, puzzled. "Armin?"_

_"Hey" he nodded. "Umm... Are you alright?"_

_"I'm fine, do you want to hang out?"_

_He nodded again "yeah, sure" and smiled. "Actually, I've got something I want to show you."_

_"Hm?"_

_Armin took her hand and led her away, and was more than relieved when she didn't refuse or pull her hand away._

_"What are you going to show me?" She asked, seemingly nonchalantly._

_Armin knew better, she was actually curious. "It's a surprise."_

_She tilted her head, even more curious._

_A short walk later, they arrived near his home._

_"Here somewhere..." Armin let go of her hand and searched under bushes and crates. "Found him" he cheered._

_"What?" She tried to see what he was looking at, but only saw his back._

_"This is Lucky" he smiled, turning to reveal a ginger cat in his arms._

_"Lucky..." She frowned._

_"Yeah, his mother and siblings got sick, but he survived and I took care of him. I used to give food to them" he smiled kindly._

_Mikasa's eyes softened, looking to Armin, and then the ginger ball of fluff._

_"You want to pet him?" Armin asked happily._

_She hesitated._

_"It's okay, he's quite friendly, just a little nervous is all."_

_She smiled softly, and offered a single finger for the cat to sniff, but the cat rubbed it's chin over it, meowing happily. Mikasa's eyes widened and she smiled sweetly "he's soft."_

_"He's not fully grown yet, he's still got his baby fur... Want to hold him? Or feed him? If you run a piece of string along the ground he chases it!"_

_"Um, sure" she nodded, crouched down with Armin as he let Lucky the cat down from his arms._

_Eren from down the street hid and watched, smiling._


	27. The Long Awaited

It was one of those evenings.

The kind of rare evening that Armin could get a headache from barely thinking, and everyone knew how normal over thinking was for him. He would sigh and rub his forehead with disdain. The last thing he wanted was a headache, especially since it was also one of those evenings when you knew you could die the next day and never see another evening. But for some reason, Armin's thoughts were clouded over by a distant memory, an excitable idea, an almost tangible interest.

Among the many dark, sharpened dangers that crawled around inside his head, clawing away at his senses, forcing his hairs on end and heart the heave, there was something. Something that induced a calmness, an endorphin so raw and almost unnatural. Foreign was the feeling, put bluntly, but like an exotic scent which arouses the multiple senses, also the memory.

He'd thought of it every now and then, it's not like he'd ever forgotten at all, just put it to the back of his mind, considering all that's happened.

But lately, it'd pushed back and taken up a large part of his daily routines. Training, Mikasa. Traitors, Mikasa. Expedition, Mikasa. Eren, Mikasa. Tonight, Mikasa. Tomorrow, Mikasa.

Mikasa this, Mikasa that.

His mind took a stroll whenever he had the time to spare, thinking about her perfected silky voice, that once long hair that is now shortened, was still as soft and beautiful as it ever was, and her eyes, expressing everything, speaking without words, telling him  _it's okay, I'm still here. We'll be okay._

It was the time that got him to think, Armin guessed, got him to remember what was never exactly forgotten. And tonight of all nights, he wanted to hear what he once wanted to hear, wanted to say exactly what he wanted to say, wanted to be selfish, wanted to see her, wanted to tell her, wanted to finally show her after all the years of hiding, suppressing, ignoring.

No, Armin. You shouldn't be thinking about that. Tomorrow is the expedition, remember? She could die, you could die, anyone could die, everyone could die.

He cringed, shaking his head. Stress wasn't a good thing, not in the long term, and tonight it was hitting hard.

He shuffled down the hallways, searching for a familiar place, a comforting place, somewhere that he could talk to someone.

He'd considered asking Hanji for help, she was after all an intellect, an abnormally minded one, but still. But was it really appropriate? She was trustworthy, smart, opinionated, very opinionated. She was also a Squad Leader of the Scouting Legion that tomorrow would charge off on a life risking expedition, and a female. His thoughts on... Romance and whatnot were rather inappropriate considering the circumstances.

He needed a male friend that could understand his situation, someone trustworthy, someone with decent intelligence and a relatively helpful opinion.

That rules out Ymir, Christa, Connie, Sasha and Reiner and Bertholdt.

Jean. Jean could help.

But, would he? Knowing he had an eye for Mikasa since the moment he first seen her. He had a feeling he'd tell him to piss off if he admitted to liking her too, and after the whole friend-zone fiasco... But Jean knew what it was like to have those kinds of interests. He was the best, and the only for his worries. It's not like he could just tell Mikasa he likes her, and has been thinking about her more and more often. Even though they've shared cuddling in bed and awkward mornings together.

He sighed, stopping in front of Jean's door, taking a few more breaths before knocking.

He could hear the footsteps, barefooted by the sounds of it. Then the click of the lock, and the creaking of the door that really should be oiled. "Armin? What's up?" Jean asked, holding the door with one hand and it's arch with the other.

"I didn't wake you did I?" Armin lowered his head, apologetically. He felt bad already.

"Not really, just staring at the ceiling" his head tilted, leaning against the arch of the door. "Need something?"

"I was... I just wanted to talk to somebody" Armin admitted, letting it out in a single breath.

"Uh... Sure, come in then."

Armin could easily note the mixture of confusion and suspicion about Jean's features as he walked past him into the room.

"So... What's this about?" Jean asked, closing the door casually behind him.

Armin grazed his fingernail over his scalp, ruffling nervously through his hair. "Nothing really, just wanted to have a casual conversation."

A huff of a laugh came from deep inside Jean's throat. "Casual? Alright...?" He waved his hand for him to continue on.

"You'll think it's stupid..." He replied quietly, glancing away, trying to put the words together.

"You can sit you know..." Jean walked past him, sitting back atop his bed, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed behind his head, his tied knotted legs stretched out in front of him across the bed.

Well, he did say casual.

Armin let himself smile as he landed across from him at the edge of the bed. "I'm sorry for bothering you, especially tonight" he let out a sigh. "But... There's something that's been... bothering me lately, something I thought I'd forgotten."

"Mhm" Jean nodded.

"Well, not exactly forgotten, just... Thought best not to remember."

Jean's arms fell in front of him, resting on his lap as he leaned forward "you sure this is casual? Sounds heavy."

"... It's sort of both, I guess."

"... Gonna spit it out? Or are we gonna beat around the bush all night? I do want to get some sleep eventually..." He smirked.

"R-right, you know what it's like to like a girl, I was wondering if we could talk about that" Armin bit his lip, looking up at his friend, honestly hoping for his help that he didn't really expect to get.

Jean was surprised to say the least, his eyebrows elevated at the mere thought of Armin wanting to talk about girls, or rather, a girl. Who knew? "Alright" he smirked half heartedly, clasping his hands together.

Armin slowly nodded, knowing his friend wanted him to continue, even though he was conflicted about admitting his feelings. "I know it seems out of the blue. But, honestly... I've been thinking about her for a long time, and I've just tried to dismiss the idea ever since... That day happened... There was so much for us all to think about, personal feelings didn't seem all that important compared to what was going on. I didn't really stop thinking about her the way I did, just, wanted not to for a while. But recently, I just, I," he shook his head, rubbing his cranium "I can't get her out of my head."

Jean didn't hesitate when Armin stared into his eyes, so sincerely, so desperately. "It's Mikasa, isn't it?"

Armin frowned, looking away.

Jean sighed, scratchy his cheek.

"I didn't want to say anything to you, or really anyone, especially her. I know you like her, and I know she's worried too much about what she thinks she has to do with her life. But I just needed to talk to someone that would understand, I'm sorry it had to be you and that I had to bring this up now, it's ju-"

"Armin, just shut up."

Armin jumped, looking up to Jean, waiting to see the venomous glare. But what he got was a frustrated growl, and furrowed brows. He glanced away again, not daring to look up "I'm so-"

"Seriously, Armin. Shut... up."

Armin didn't speak again, and took to staring at his feet.

He heard a sigh from his friend, before he spoke. "Look, Armin. Just stop apologizing, alright? I get it, okay?"

Armin nodded, glancing up, seeing Jean's frown immediately.

He folded his arms and sighed. "How long exactly has this... You know, been going on?"

"About five years, not long after I met her. She scared me a little at first, it was Eren that introduced us, not long after she moved in with him after..." He shook his head.

"Uh uh... Right, so..." Jean sighed, not knowing what to say.  _I knew I wasn't the only one... But you as well? Armin... You could have told me before, you know? Well... I probably wouldn't have listened back then... Surprising myself right now, listening to this, understanding..._  "You know how to spring surprises Armin... I'll give you that... Although, you know how to make someone stop wanting to punch you."

"Thanks..."

Jean smiled, briefly. "So why not go tell her?"

"It took you a whole three years to tell her, under the influence of alcohol."

"Funny..."  _Smart ass._

Armin smiled sadly "she doesn't love me, and I know it, just like you know she doesn't love you."

Jean's hand twitched, hurt by his words, his mouth twitched, hinting at a snarl. But he knew, all too well.

"I used to talk to Eren about it" Armin shrugged "before the fall, he tried to be a matchmaker of sorts..." he smiled at the memory. "But, Mikasa, she only ever had eyes for him, everything he did, everything he wanted to do, everything she thought was best for him. I don't blame her, Eren was... He was my best friend, the only person to stand up for me. Sure he had a temper, sure he was reckless, sure he ran into danger without a second thought, but he did it because he thought it was the right thing to do, he was just protecting us."

"Both of us are outmatched then?"

"I'm worried about her, Jean. I know why she's still fighting, and I know why I'm fighting too, it's just... She's lost, she's still lost in her grief. She seems strong, she seems powerful, she seems able to cope, able to survive without him... But, she isn't... Behind that mask she always wears, she's just a girl."

"She's survived this far, just trust she'll be okay, I know she will."

"You don't see the way she sleeps..."

"... You watch her sleep?"

It should have been a funny remark, a laughable insult, a humorous take on what should be considered borderline creepy. But... the reality of it stopped him from even smiling. "She has night terrors. Sometimes... she talks... Sometimes... she lashes out... Sometimes she just cries quietly. The most peaceful I've seen her is when she twitches and mumbles."

Jean paused, not wanting to say anything. "Fuck..." he whispered to himself.

"She wakes up the next day as if nothing happened, and gets ready, occasionally bringing up a conversation when she notices I'm awake. To be honest, the only times she hasn't done anything abnormal was when she came over into my bed."

"I never knew, she acts so normal" he held his head "I know she pretends to be okay sometimes, when I know she's not, but... Never realised it was that bad."

"I just can't tell her about my feelings, she has a lot on her mind... If I ask, she denies it, or says she doesn't remember. It hurts to see that, it really does. I want to help her, but she doesn't let anyone in that far, she blocks herself to others, like she has walls protecting her mentality from getting too close to someone, only to lose them. Again and again she left herself open, but... After Eren, I think she's just given up on others."

"... Prove to her that you'll stick around then..."

"... I can't guarantee that."

"Not with that attitude, dumb ass. Look, if you really love her, you'll do anything for her, whatever she needs you to be, you'll be. It's shit not being able to be with the person you love, believe me. But... I'm happy enough knowing she's alive, and that I can at least be there for her if she needs me."

Armin smiled happily, sincerely. "Jean... What... happened to you?"

He raised a brow, tilting his head "Huh? What are you ranting about now?"

"You've changed, you've  _really_  changed..."

"..."

"You only used to care about yourself, about getting into the top ten of the Training Corps, joining the Military Police, going to the inner walls... Settling down with the beautiful girl of your dreams, not giving a shit about what others thought about that plan..."

"Ha."

"But now... Your becoming a good leader I think, considering others before yourself, honestly trying to help with their problems."

There was a long pause, and Armin could tell he was seriously contemplating what he just said to him.

"I'd like to see you becoming a Squad Leader one day, I'd gladly have you as mine tomorrow."

"Don't think Major Hanji would be too happy to hear you say that... She's taken a liking to you, you know."

"Yeah... But... Really, I mean it. You'll be a good leader one day, and I'm more than happy for that day to come."

"Thanks..." He scratched his head "Let's just keep our minds set on tomorrow, we can think about that kind of stuff another time."

"Yeah, I know..."

Jean slapped his hands together, rubbing them. "But, you'll see Mikasa tonight won't you? I don't want you to go rushing off and sweeping her off her feet in some blind rush of passion, okay?"

Armin blushed, holding back a laugh "I don't think... That's likely to happen."

"You know what I mean though... She's..." Jean sighed.

"I won't do anything that either of us would regret, she's important to me, she's all I've got left from my childhood, my only other friend from those times. I want to be able to take care of her, make sure she'll be okay, after every fight, after every battle, I'll do my best to be there for her... If I can't, I know you will at least. It's good she has people that care about her so much, it's just... I don't think she can accept that."

"Wanna know what I think?"

Armin nodded.

"You should grow some balls already."

"That's a little harsh, don't you think..."

"Come off it Armin, you're the smartest guy I know, smarter than a lot of the older soldiers, smarter than the merchants, hell... I'd go as far to say you're smarter than the king and his advisers... So just quite putting yourself down already... It's annoying."

"I don't put myself down."

Jean cocked a brow, folding his arms tightly. "She really cares about you, you're lucky. Who does she go to for help? You. Who does she share a room with? You. Who did she give that scarf to when he wasn't feeling well? You. Who does she occasionally sleep with? You. Who does she really care about? You again. She needs you, she wants to be with you, she wants your advise, she listens to you."

"..." Armin frowned, knowing everything of what he said to be true. "I'm sorry."

"I thought I told you to stop apologizing, It kills me to know she'll never be with me, but if she ends up with you... I'd know she'd be safe, happy... You're a decent guy, just man up, for her, all she really needs from you is your strength, everything else she seems to have already" he mumbled the last part.

"Thanks... Jean. I know you want to curse me, kick me out of here and tell me to leave her alone. It means a lot, you know?" He smiled. "I just wish sometimes things could be alright, normal, without all the Titans, without the corrupt government, without those damn walls... But I know their not, this is the world we live in. But, I guess it's okay, because of people like you, and Mikasa, and Sasha, and Connie and everyone else."

"Mhm..." He grumbled, looking out the window. "So where is Mikasa, anyway? I would've guessed she'd be with you, but you know... She's not."

"I think she was with her squad, last I heard from her. She wasn't at the room when I went back, so that's where she must be. Actually, she might be back already, because we have an early start tomorrow" he mused.

"Go get her" his mouth quirks, hinting at a smile.

"Jean..."

"You heard me, before I have to kick you out."

Armin stood silently, heading to the door without a word.

He paused at the door, holding it half open whilst he turned back to face Jean with a smile "thanks Jean, really. I needed this."

"No problem" he mumbled, waving his hand lazily. "Yeah, you owe me one" he chuckled shortly. "Now, go on, go tell her."

Armin nodded, closing the door behind him.

Jean sighed.  _What a night... I really need some sleep._

_..._

_What exactly should I say?... I guess it doesn't matter really, Mikasa would understand... But... I need to make it nice for her, if she rejects my feelings, still, I need to make sure I say the right thing._

Armin hesitated outside the room, daring not to touch the handle. He frowned, biting his lip in frustration.

_You're beautiful. You're smart. You're amazing... You're the only person I could ever care about this way... I don't care about the answer I receive, either way, I will always be there for you. You're my friend, a really close friend, I'll always consider you a friend, at the very least, if that's what you want. I just want you to smile, I want you to stop being sad, I know there isn't much I can do, but I want to make you smile again._

_Just go in and tell her._

He forced his hand towards the handle, twisting it.

The door opened...

...

"The targets will be lined here; Braun on the left, first column, fourth squad with Nanaba and Gerger. Fubar on the right, first column, third squad with Henning and Rene. Captain Levi, myself and Mikasa will be just behind Braun, second column as part of the third communications, whilst Erd, Petra and Auruo will be on a similar position just behind Fubar. Should a purple flare be fired from Nanaba's or Henning's position, immediate action must be taken. Hanji and the transport squads should await our signals from there."

Gunther held open the formation blueprints, pointing here and there to the specific points of interest in the formation for tomorrow's expedition.

"It should be easy to remember" Gunther glanced up to Mikasa, and everyone else followed his sights.

Mikasa stood there, staring at the blueprints. "Yes, I see" she answered quietly.

"I don't think there's anything else to go over. Just need to rest up for tomorrow now" Erd noted.

"Yeah" Gunther agreed, rolling up the blueprints.

"I remember the first time I looked over the formation... I was totally lost" Petra smiled, looking in Mikasa's direction. "But it didn't take long to get used to, the Commander comes up with some pretty good strategies."

"Sucking up, Petra?" Erd noted, joking of course by the light smirk on his face.

"Oh shut up..." She replied.

"You talk too much" Auruo added.

"At least I don't bite my tongue after every other sentence..." she mumbled back.

"Alright, calm down you two... We don't want another incident starting up..." Erd reasoned.

Petra yawned, pressing her palm over her mouth. "Well, I'm tired, is anyone else tired?"

They all nodded, slowly starting to yawn, one by one, trying to hide it. Mikasa didn't, she stood there silently.

"Mikasa? Are you okay?" Petra asked.

"Yeah, you've been pretty quiet..." Auruo added.

"I'm always quiet" she replied casually.

"Not this quiet... Something bothering you?" Erd then asked.

Mikasa shook her head.

"I get it, you're missing that Armin guy, aren't you?" Auruo teased.

Mikasa blushed faintly, rolling her eyes away from them all. "Of course, that's it." She wondered if the sarcasm was potent enough for them to catch a whiff of. She noticed Levi glance up for a moment, then back down at his tea, for that moment their eyes met though, and she knew he was questioning her choice of words. She knew she was paraphrasing his words, so what though?

"Well, let's go then, time for some sleep" Petra smiled, ushering everyone to the exit. Just before she left, she turned back to see Levi, drinking his tea. "Captain, please go to sleep soon."

He nodded slowly, taking another sip.

She smiled, finally leaving. "Auruo, wait on me!" She tried to whisper and call after him, power-walking down the hallway at a late hour.

...

Mikasa sighed, holding the door handle to her room.

 _What am I even thinking about?_ She held her head, cringing.  _I need to stop, I just need to stop thinking about it._

She twisted the handle, opening the door.  _Don't let him see you like this..._ She mused, entering the room. "Armin?" She stopped, puzzled by the lack of her blonde companion. She lowered her head, closing the door slowly.  _He's not here..._

Avoiding the worry, she changed from her uniform and into a comfier, more loose fabric attire.  _What if he's hurt?..._ She chewed on her bottom lip as she sat on top of her bed, curling her arms around her knees.  _What if he needs me?... What if I'm just being overprotective again, pushing my boundaries... Please come back soon Armin... Please..._

The door opened...


	28. A Night To Remember

"Oi, Sasha, you awake?" Connie muttered over to the opposing bed, where Sasha was supposedly sleeping under the covers.

"No" she answered, staying under the covers.

"What are you doing?" He sat up, leaning his back against his pillow.

"Nothing" she answered, lying still under the sheets.

"You can be really weird sometimes... You know that, right?" He rolled his eyes at her.

She growled, under her breath.

"So what's wrong?"

"Nothings wrong... What's wrong with you?"

"... Honestly, I'm just thinking about tomorrow" he looked down at his covers, thinking.

"Oh..." She nodded, pulling the covers off of her to look over at him.

"I feel like a bit of an idiot, for joining the Scouting Legion. I don't really know why I joined, I just, did..."

She stared a moment, frowning "you shouldn't worry about it, really... You'll be fine."

"You say that like your not terrified."

"Uh..." He got her, of course she was terrified, risking her life for these people. It wasn't supposed to be like this, she just had to show her dad she was mature, not this...

"Forget it" he slumped back down into his bed, staring at the ceiling.

"... Um..." She raised her hand to speak, trying to find the right sort of words. "... We could die, couldn't we?"

"Yepp, come on, Sasha, you're not that stupid..."

She sighed, scratching her nose. "I miss my home..."

He looked over "yeah?... Me too..."

"What was yours like again?"

"My home? Nothing much to say, just a small village, me and my family and a couple other families. What about yours? It's a hunting village isn't it?"

She nodded "... Yes, well, I don't know now. I left when... Things got complicated."

"Complicated?"

"... My dad said we had to give up our hunting lifestyle, start breeding horses for the government. I didn't like it... I hated it, I still hate it... Just... The fact we had to give up our way of living for..." She looked over to him, before she shook her head, not wanting to say it. "It doesn't really matter now, does it?"

"I dunno" he shrugged.

"Ymir told me a while ago that I care too much about what people think of me."

"Huh? Seems to me like you really don't care..."

"She told me to quit being so polite and formal, giving up who I was."

"Eh?"

"I have a funny accent."

"... I never noticed."

"People say things about people like me, where I'm from like..."

"Like?"

"I don't want to say..."

"So... You're acting differently... So people don't say anything?"

She nodded.

"Oh... So what's your actual accent like?"

She looked away in a huff.

"Oh come on! You can't mention it and not show me... Wait, wait, wait... Shit... Back when we got all that booze, you were speaking weird then... Was that it?"

She growled, folding her arms "weird...?"

"So it was... Haha, I thought it was just you drunk talking..." He sat up, sniggered lightly.

She turned away from him, embarrassed. "You're a jerk..."

His eyes widened "I didn't mean it in a bad way... I swear! I'm just surprised, that's all! Really! It's not weird or anything..."

"Mhm..." She growled again, covering her head.

"Sasha... Really, I'm sorry... Come on..."

She didn't respond.

"Right... Right... Any insult you wanna swing my way? Make us even?"

"No" she muttered.

He sighed "I'm short for my age... I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed."

"You're no Armin..." She muttered.

He grinned "you kidding me? Not even a good comparison it's that much of a difference!"

"... Apology accepted..."

"Finally... You know I never mean it..."

"Yeah..."

"You shouldn't really hide your accent... It's fine."

"It's too different."

"Pfft, there's no winning with you, is there? Hell, if I mentioned food you'd be more interested."

Her head peeked over the covers, looking over to him, which made him laugh.

"... Thanks for cheering me up, Sasha."

"... No problem" she answered quietly, but honestly.

"You think everyone's doing something similar? Getting over emotional I mean?"

"Over emotional?" She asked.

"Yeah... Well... You know."

"Hm... Maybe..."

He sighed "it'll be fine? Won't it...? We're with the Scouting Legion, this is normal to them..."

"Yes... We're them too now though..."

He nodded. "We're not in the vanguard, so, it's a little less dangerous..."

"Mhm, we were in the top ten too... We've made it this far, after Trost..."

"... Eren... I can't believe it still... Of all people, I honestly thought he'd be the one to make it..."

"Poor Mikasa..."

"Poor Armin..."

"If they can still go on... It shouldn't be that difficult for us?"

"No... I guess not, what exactly have we lost compared to them?" Connie agreed.

"We can make it, I'm sure... We'll be okay..." Sasha added.

...

Ymir wasn't happy.

On any other occasion she wouldn't have really minded Christa shuffling around in bed uncomfortably, attempting to find just the right position to settle down and sleep. But tonight, of all nights... Ymir was already uneasy, which was all she would allow herself to admit concerning her current feelings.

She lay in her own bed, looking over to the little Christa. She frowned "hey, Christa."

She didn't answer, but finally stopped moving.

"What the hell are you doing?" Ymir complained quietly.

Christa sighed, and turned over to look at her friend. "... I'm just... I'm worried about tomorrow, about everyone..."

Ymir sighed, turning herself to look up at the ceiling. "Oh... That."

Christa glanced away, burying herself in the covers.

"I guess you wanna talk about it?" Ymir glanced over, catching her nod from under the covers. She waited knowingly.

"D-do you think our friends are going to get hurt...?" She uttered.

"Who knows..."

"... Do you think that they're going... going to die?..."

"Maybe, maybe not."

Christa sat up, the covers falling down past her shoulders, staying up on her arms.

"What's with that look?" Ymir asked, catching a glimpse of her in a delusion of the moonlight.

Christa frowned, biting her bottom lip anxiously. "I... I... I can't help but worry, I want to do something, I need to."

"You don't need to do anything, unless you actually want to. That's all I'll say."

Christa lowered her head, staring at her small bare feet.

"You better not be thinking about that again... Don't you dare even consider it."

"What?"

"Whatever you've been taught to believe about yourself, don't believe it. It's your decision who you want to be, but don't for a second believe that whatever you were told is the truth."

Christa stared at her, with her lips parted. "What?"

"Nothing, just forget it..." She grumbled, turning away from her.

"You're worried about them too... Aren't you?" Christa hopped on top of her covers, unable to settle.

Ymir sighed into her pillow "not a chance..."  _Of course I am._

Christa sat silently, watching her, worried.  _I know you do, you're not as complicated or hateful as you appear. You're a good person, you just don't want anyone worrying about you? Right?_

"You're really creepy, you know that?" Ymir commented, her voice mumbled into the pillow.

Christa giggled "I'm sorry..."

Ymir turned back around to face her "Christa... Just don't be like this tomorrow, you know what happens when you're a hero? You die. And you know what? I won't be the one calling you a hero, or a saint, or a good girl... I'll call you selfish, stupid and desperate for someone to care about you. It's wrong what you're doing, it makes me sick..."

Christa lowered her head, gripping her covers tightly.  _I'm sorry._

Ymir shook her head, gripping it with her palm "look, I've not got any right to tell you how to live you're life, it's just I hate seeing you like this. Pretending to be the good girl you're expected to be, living under a false name, running away from you're problems, so very eager to just tuck your tail between your legs and submit to those bastards?..." She sighed. "It's everything, it pisses me off so much... I know I've given you this shitty rant before, it's just, I want you to remember that you have a choice..."

"... You still haven't told me you're secret..."

"Ha, like hell I'm gonna tell you right now..." Ymir smirked.

"Do you want to know my real name?" Christa asked quietly, softly, fearfully.

Ymir stopped, cocking a brow. "No."

"Oh..."

"If you tell me, you'll have to tell everyone. You're not ready for that..."

"My real name is... Historia Reiss."

Ymir's eyes widened, and her mouth opened to speak, but she held back. Looking away, she bit her lips sharply, before smiling. "You're an idiot..."

"Y-yeah..." She answered hesitantly.

"Pleasure to meet you, Miss Historia Reiss" Ymir bowed lazily, still lying on her side. "... What brought this on?"

"... I... You... You really wanted to know, didn't you? You're my friend, right?..."

"Friend?... Sure..."

"I wanted to tell you... I feel stupid for doing it, because... I'm scared, if they find me, they'll... What they did back then... Ymir, I... I want to trust you, you were there for me all the time, you knew my secret... But, you kept it to yourself, all this time... I trust you Ymir."

Ymir watched, surprised, shocked. She watched Christa's eyes water, welling up with tears, her cheeks growing darker, contrasting with her pink skin. "Christa..." She spoke differently "... No, Historia..."

She wiped at her face with her sleeves, muffling her hitched voice and trembling squeaks.

Ymir chuckled, rolling her eyes. "I've got a bigger secret than you..."

Christa peeked over, hushing her sobs.

"Oh, you would love to know, wouldn't you?"

"You don't have to tell me... I won't care, either way."

"Come over here" Ymir didn't quite ask, knowing Christa wanted to find out her secret, despite her politeness about the sensitive topic.

Christa nodded slowly, bringing herself up from her bed, and over to Ymir's.

Ymir sat up, leaning her face into her palm, watching Christa delicately as she sat at the edge of her bed. "Historia."

Christa looked up, meeting her eyes.

"I'll tell you, okay? But, you know what that means, right?"

She looked down, thoughtfully. "I know."

"They won't touch you, so long as you keep my secret, okay?"

She nodded, barely able to believe it. "Are you blackmailing me...?"

Ymir laughed "not even a little bit... What I'm gonna tell you, it's just between us, okay? You'll understand..."  _I hope..._

Christa glanced up, confused.

Ymir took in one last breath, before finally speaking. "... Okay... I..."

...

The door opened...

And Armin walked in, quietly closing the door behind him as he spoke her name "Mikasa..."

She was looking out the window when the door opened and Armin entered the room, changing the atmosphere somehow, in some way she couldn't quite understand. She granted herself a quick glimpse before turning her sights back to the unknowns of the outer window. She shouldn't be worrying about him, she shouldn't stick her nose in his business, it's his life and none of her business, he's strong minded and didn't really need her help. She reckoned for once she should mind her own business.

Armin noticed her back was turned to him as she sat cross-legged on top of her bed, surveying the world outside. He blinked once, twice, and then on the third he brought himself closer to her, sitting on her bed shuffling up next to her. He was worried when she didn't look back to see what he was doing, but dismissed it, she must be thinking. He crossed his legs, holding his knees as he sat there with her, back to back.

He closed his eyes and spoke "we've been friends for a long time, haven't we?" He smiled awkwardly. "You've been like a sister to me all this time, looking out for me, you and Eren... Since... Eren died, I've seen a side to you that I never thought I'd have to see, that I ever could see. You're so strong... It's easy to forget sometimes that you're only human like the rest of us."

He gripped the fabric of his trousers, rubbing it gently. "Ever since we got together in here... I've gotten closer to you, to the real Mikasa, not the one that pretends she's alright all the time, or the one that finds it almost impossible to smile, or the one that believes that killing all the Titans is the only thing she has to live for anymore." He inhaled deeply, fishing for the right words in the air, as if God could somehow bless him with some of his wisdom. "What I've trying to say is... I love you."

Armin could feel her body tense behind him, he didn't dare look around, knowing it was rushed, knowing it was blunt, but it was there, out in the open, ready for discussion, ready for debate.

"Wh-what..." Mikasa voice almost trembled, low, under her breath "what did you just say...?"

Armin looked around, finally, shaking his hair against hers. "I love you."

Mikasa frowned, slowly rotating her temple, bringing her eyes to meet his in a side ways glance. She opened her mouth to speak, but couldn't find the words.

Armin couldn't help but smile at the sight of her speechlessness. "You don't have to say anything, I just had to tell you... I've wanted to tell you for a long time, but I... Couldn't really find the courage to..."

"Armin..." She quickly shuffled around, holding his shoulder gently, but tightly enough that he felt he should turn himself to face her properly. "You can't... Armin, you can't love me."

He met her eyes, those sweet grey eyes. "I'm sorry, but I do, Mikasa. I'm sorry I haven't told you before, all the times we've been together, slept in the same room, in the same bed... It's not because of that, it's not because of a sexual attraction or poor intentions..." Armin sighed, closing his eyes for a moment to clear his nervous head.  _Be strong, Armin, be strong!_

Mikasa stared at him, as if blood was pouring down his face. She bit her lip, forcing herself not to speak.

"Do you remember when we were young? It was a few months after we met, that Eren found out that I liked you... He tried to get you to like me more, but, his plans never really had the desired effects..." He smiled at the nostalgia.

"Why haven't you said anything, why didn't he?" She finally spoke, calming down externally, internally her heart was in her throat, pounding away faster and faster, swelling in her gullet.

"We were just kids, Mikasa, we didn't know anything. And then, that day, after that... I didn't want to mention it again, to Eren, or you. Like he never mentioned seeing the world outside the walls, the thing he wanted most in the world, he was just protecting me, as if pretending he wasn't interested anymore so I wouldn't follow him... I screwed up, he screwed up... We all screwed up. I don't want to pretend I don't feel that way anymore, Mikasa... I want to go out there, I want to see everything, but... I also want to be with you, you're... To me, you're more precious than that old book we read, more valuable than salt or gold, more beautiful than the ocean... I love you, I don't know how else to tell you, I just do."

She blushed, blinking at him. "Armin..." Her eyes watered, so she closed them.

"Mikasa, are you crying? Are you okay?"

She nodded quickly "I'm fine..."

"Mikasa... Please don't lie, not to me..." He shifted himself closer, testing the new and enigmatic buzz in the air.

She shook her head, bringing her eyes to meet his once again "Armin, you know I care about you... This is just really sudden, you caught me off guard... That's all."

He nodded.

And she sat there, staring at him and his nervous gaze.

He looked away, almost saddened by a thought, but not quite "I know that you still love Eren, so I don't expect you to even give me an answer, I just had to tell you, tonight. I think the stress has finally got to me, all my worries just bubbled to the top, this, I couldn't hold this back anymore, I wanted to tell you before anything happens tomorrow. It's selfish, forcing another worry onto you, I don't want anything to happen to you, I want to be there for you and keep you safe. You're so strong, but, sometimes... Like everyone, you slip up... I want to be there for you when those times happen, to catch you when you fall."

"That's all I can say, if you don't love me, then I'll walk out the door and we'll go back to being just friends again... But I'll never forget what we just talked about."

A silence hung in the air, neither of them spoke a single word, dared not to.

Mikasa simply raised her hand to Armin's cheek, touching it. Her fingers lingered a moment longer, slowly grazing up to tangle in his blonde hair. She pulled him closer, bringing his lips towards hers.

Without even the need to think, they closed their eyes, matching in keen intentions.

Mikasa's lips parted, slowly, barely grazing the soft pursed tissue of his upper lip. Her breath lingered for just a moment before she pressed down onto him, bringing him closer as he met her just as eagerly.

Holding their breaths, they let the kiss last, as every nerve stung with a fervent jolt of electricity. What seemed like a second, felt so much more.

They let go, forcing their lips to part from one another. They finally were able to breathe, letting out the trapped air stuck inside their lungs.

And it was over.

Armin saw her face, flushed, eyes twinkling, awaiting a blink. He smiled contently.

She nodded, returning a soft and tender smile, and tears seemed to form in her eyes, narrowly slipping down her cheeks "I love you too. All of this time... You... I want to be with you too, no matter what... You're the one person I would try to be with, because I just can't leave you, even as friends... You're all I have left..."

Armin watched her eyes, his lips still parted. It must have hurt to say she loves him, she was taking a chance on him, finally allowing someone in. He reached out, carefully, wrapping his arms around her. "It's really late... Maybe we should get some sleep."

She nodded into his shoulder, as Armin slowly brought her down onto the pillow next to him, pulling the covers up over them both.

"Armin, could you hold me... Please?" She asked quietly, turning away from him.

He gladly complied, wrapping his arms around her stomach in a tight embrace.

She pushed back into him, feeling his warmth of his chest "Armin... I..."

"It's okay, Mikasa" he nuzzled into the back of her neck. "I'll be here."

She smiled, and nodded, eyes glittering still. "Please Armin, please don't die, please, you're smart, you'll be smart..."

He kissed the back of her neck, bringing her closer.

"Armin..."

"Night, Mikasa..."

"... Night, Armin..."


	29. The Expedition

_Kill if you must, but never hate:_

_Man is but grass and hate is blight,_

_The sun will scorch you soon or late,_

_Die wholesome then, since you must fight._

_Hate is a fear, and fear is rot_

_That cankers root and fruit alike,_

_Fight cleanly then, hate not, fear not,_

_Strike with no madness when you strike,_

_Fever and fear distract the world,_

_But calm be you though madmen shout,_

_Through blazing fires of battle hurled,_

_Hate not, strike, fear not, stare Death out!_

_\- Robert Graves_

Armin fumbled the ends of his shirt, feeling the fabric and the stitching. He lay in bed next to Mikasa, who was still sleeping soundly from the night before, her head slung onto his chest in a deprived haze. He would smile down at her every time he heard a mumble or a louder breath, but gazed up at the ceiling, wondering about the day.  _Everyone is mainly with the relay of the formation; Connie, Sasha and most of the other new recruits. Mikasa will be with half of the Special Ops Squad, likely with Levi, for two reasons; so he can make sure she makes it back, and so he can stop her from doing anything too rash or put the others in danger. Jean, Christa and Ymir are the only other recruits on the vanguard. Every squad in the formation will be split into teams of three, mainly to keep Reiner and Bertholdt ignorant to the real goal of the mission, they will be stationed on separate ends of the formation so they can't make contact or warn the other. The two others that will be with them will both make sure nothing happens to them, because of the adjusted maneuver gears, and send a signal if the Titan theory is confirmed, whether it be correct or a mistake..._

"Armin... You okay?..."

Armin looked down immediately after hearing her voice, and saw her looking up at him with her eyes half closed. "Oh... Mikasa, you're awake..."

She nodded as she yawned, ruffling his shirt as she squeezed it. "You're hearts going really fast..." She commented, seemingly in reference to what she'd asked before, but Armin couldn't tell, not right now, not with her looking the way she did.

"What do you mean?" He asked, as he expressed a quirk of a shy smile.

She raised a brow "... You're heart suddenly got really fast, is something wrong?"

"No, no, it's nothing really..." Armin thought a moment, before awkwardly stating "I was just thinking about you."

She seemed to giggle for the shortest of moments, before lifting herself up. "It's weird to hear you say stuff like that..."

"Sorry..." He smiled back at her.

"I think it's sweet though..." She sat there in front of him, pushing her hair out of her face. "Do you know what time it is?"

"It's still early, but we should get ready soon" he lifted himself up to bring himself to the edge of the bed, but a hand reached his shoulder and stopped him. "Mikasa?"

"... About last night, Armin..." Mikasa frowned as she looked into his eyes. "I... Still feel... unaccustomed to the idea of that sort of relationship..."

He hesitated before speaking "we don't have to have that kind of relationship if you don't want to, it's fine by me if you don't, I understand..."  _I do mind... But I understand too..._

She looked away, and shook her head "it's not like that... I care for you very much. I just want... To take things slow..."

"Slow?"

She nodded.

"... I'm sorry, Mikasa, I don't... Quit understand..."

She sighed quietly "it's okay, you don't have to know... Just, be there... Please..."

Armin smiled, she sounded so awkward, so cute. He brought his arms around her, pressing her into his chest as if she were as soft as a nobleman's pillow. Or perhaps, Armin thought, that was a bad comparison...

"I've got to get ready, Armin..." She mumbled into him.

He nodded "I know" but didn't let her go.

"Armin..."

He released her, half of him didn't want to so they could sleep longer together, but the other half told him logically, that today was the day. He watched her as she lifted herself up off of the bed to stretch, as he gazed at her with a strange sort of blank expression.

She finally glanced back at him. catching him staring at her "what's wrong?"

He shook his head, and that was all.

She nodded "we should get ready, could you look away while I get changed?"

"Of course."

"And... You won't look" she looked back at him.

"I'm not like that, Mikasa..." He felt hurt by her doubts about his sense of chivalry and decency.

She smiled, and leaned down so that she was face to face with him, before placing a kiss on his lips. It was a short kiss; short but sweet. "I know."

He frowned as he met her eyes, but then smiled.  _Strange._

...

"Red flare for Titans, black flare for Abnormals, green flare for direction, blue flare for emergency..." Sasha listed off as she packed the canisters into the pouch wrapped around the front of her horse.

"Just reach the forest, and the carts and special ops squad will take over the most difficult part" Connie replied, petting his horses' neck.

"It should be fine, there's the vanguard ahead of us" she looked over to him, knowing that he was nervous too.

"Yeah, yeah. I know."

"Don't be such a pair of downers... You're starting to make me feel depressed."

"Ymir?" Connie asked as he looked over to her unexpected appearance.

She looked down at them, holding the reins to her readied horse. She sighed "So where are you guys at in the formation again?"

"Right side, relay behind the vanguard" Sasha replied quickly.

"Me too, but behind her squad" Connie added. "Why?"

Ymir looked away in thought for a minute, "no reason."

"Sounds like you're actually a human being..." Connie noted.

"What's that supposed to mean, shrimp?"

Connie looked away nervously "I just meant you're acting like you want company, that's all..."

"Are you worried about the mission too?" Sasha asked.

She laughed, rolling her eyes.  _Something's not right here..._

"Where are you?" Connie asked.

"Standing right here..." She retorted.

"Funny" he placed his hands at his waist, tilting his head, void of amusement.

"Far left, vanguard" she answered, looking away with a more serious expression. "If you care so much..."  _Something is definitely not right about this..._

"Ymir, I think everyone is starting to leave now" Christa walked up behind her, holding onto her horse's reins.

She nodded, before proceeding to mount, "hope you don't piss your panties" she called back to Connie and Sasha. She waited for Historia to mount, and then they took off together, looking for their squad leader for the mission, they were in the same squad after all.

Ymir watched Historia as she searched around, with a troubled aura about her. "Historia."

She turned, brows furrowed as she bit her lip nervously.

"Don't worry, idiot."

Historia looked away, overly thoughtful.

"Are you still thinking about what I told you?" Ymir asked "or are you genuinely worried about the mission?"

Historia glanced back at her, and then smiled. "Both, now that you mentioned it..."

Ymir nodded, looking past her horse's ears. "Squad leader" she called over when she saw him.

Their squad leader turned his head, mounting his own horse, she had forgotten his name already. "There you both are."

"I'd like to request again that we be moved away from the vanguard" Ymir spoke bluntly, half knowing what his answer would be.

"You know I can't let you do that, now follow orders, we're about to leave."

She frowned, but obeyed, it's not like she expected a different answer this time.

...

The expedition went forward, leaving the eastern Karanese district of Wall Rose, to move into Wall Maria.

An full hour had passed, several Titans were spotted and taken care of, but no Abnormals had been sighted as of yet around Reiner, or Bertholdt, which was required for the mission to progress and intercept.

Reiner groaned, glancing to his right, following the green flares.

"Gergar, you fire the shot" the squad leader; Nanaba ordered back to him and he obeyed without ease.

"We still haven't seen any Abnormals" Reiner commented.  _That's Abnormal, it's been long enough, shouldn't at least one have been spotted by now?_

"Just because you can't see them, doesn't mean their not there" Nanaba replied, focusing her gaze on him.

"Yeah" he nodded with a grunt, looking to his left at the open as they galloped on at a steady pace. _  
_

...

"Something's not quite right here" Hanji commented, less so to her squad in the center of the formation, but more so to herself. "They should have ran into an Abnormal by now" she shook her head.  _The Abnormal will cause some confusion, hopefully distracting them from incoming Titans, so the plan will work._ "Lucky that Mike is out there."

Armin nodded, glancing up at the haunting green flares. "Yeah."  _I hope this will work..._

_..._

"Shit! Squad leader!" Jean's comrade ululated out to their squad leader, after a Titan tore him from his saddle and his blood painted the earth below. His comrade ground his teeth, eyes wide.

 _Shit_ Jean cursed, clutching his reins tighter as he stared up at the blonde Titan and it's twisted, blood smeared grin.  _Oh fuck, the squad leader... Oh fuck! It came out of nowhere! Behind those buildings... It was too small, fuck, fuck!_

"What do we do?!" His comrade screamed, frozen as the Titan approached him. "No, no! I don't want to die, please, no!"

The man was in the 104th with him, a new recruit like him. Jean bit his lip, sucking in a fearful breath. "Move!" He screamed back, challenging his steed towards his comrade.

He stared at him, so fearful, so helpless, unable to move. "I said fucking move!" Jean ordered again, louder, more fierce.

When his comrade kicked his horse's flanks to finally move, it was too late, the Titan had snatched him up. It did not eat him at first, but held him up in front of it's face, meeting eye to eye.

Jean could hear his cries, his screams 'help! Please, please! Please help me! No! Leave me alone!' He couldn't watch this, not again, he could never watch his comrades die again whilst he did nothing.

He lifted himself from the saddle and shot himself towards the Titan's nape. It was distracted, he could get it, one good strike.

The last thing he caught a glimpse of before the large head of yellow hair was his comrade being brought towards the Titan's gaping maw. Jean met his eyes, the look of utter fear on his face was indescribable, pleading, far too helpless for a young man.

His hard grip on his blades slashed the nape of its neck, cutting through in an instant of the tugging of flesh and silenced screaming.

The Titan fell, and Jean landed next to it as his horse returned to his side like the loyal beast it was bred to be. Jean stared at the rising of steam. "Brun" he muttered, searching for any sign of life.

He heard a ragged cough from the steam "over h-here!"

Jean released a sigh of relief as he rushed over to grab his comrade Brun. "I thought you were a goner."

"Me too..." He groaned, clutching his arm. "I think I broke it... Shit..."

Jean looked at the arm he clutched tightly. "Can you move it?"

"Not really..."

He shook his head. "There's no time for this" he blew a whistle, calling back the horses that fled. "Just get on the horse and keep your eyes open, I'll attach the others reins to yours."

"Jean, thanks for that, I... I really owe you my li-"

"Alright, just get on the horse, the formation won't wait for us."  _You don't owe me shit._ _  
_

"Right!" He jumped, pulling himself up onto his horse.

...

Mike turned his head for a moment, looking back at what he and his squad had gathered.  _This better work._ He thought, refusing to look back again as his comrades rode by his side, equally hesitant and fearful.

"There they are" he called to them "you know what to do."

...

"Nanaba! Ahead!" Gergar yelled.

Nanaba didn't need the warning, none of them did.

"Holy shit" Reiner grunted, eyes glaring ahead of him like the others.

Mike's squad had halted, their horses gone wild at the chaos and confusion. A gathering of Titans swarmed them, at least ten of them. A pair of eight metre classes tore a member of his squad in half before their eyes.

"Why was there no signal?!" Reiner growled, more so in an icey rasp than a snarl of anger.

"That doesn't matter, we have to take care of them!" Nanaba ordered.

They listened to the scream of the other member of Mike's squad as they charged forward.

Gergar rose from his saddle and shot himself towards the horde.  _There's so many of them! What were they thinking?!_ He hacked his blades into two Titan's necks, he killed a total of three when his legs were caught in a Titan's mouth. He didn't scream and didn't plead.  _No... No, this can't be happening, no, I can't, not now! Not now!_

Another Titan tore at his torso, ripping the top half from the other Titan's hold.

"Gergar!" Nanaba yelled, lifting herself to balance on her saddle.

Reiner did the same and shot at the closest Titan. As he jumped though, his body slammed back from his horse and onto the ground.

Nanaba turned her head to look at his collapsed body lying slumped against the bloodied grass, and she left him to his fate, whatever it may be.

Reiner moaned as he found his feet. "What?..."  _The maneuver gear, it's broken, I can't use the gear._ He looked up, eyes widened as the group of Titans approached him, and more seemed to be gathering in the distance.  _This isn't right, what can I do?! Nanaba?_ He looked around, but she was nowhere to be seen, he couldn't see anyone for the horde of Titans mere metre away from him and the steam that blew from the few corpses.  _No, not now, I will not die here. Bertholdt... Where are you? I can't die, I can't leave you, I can't! We're going home!_

A Titan grabbed his head tightly, and he couldn't see, nothing but the darkness.  _NO! I WILL NOT DIE!_ He bit his tongue, and a burst of lightning lit the atmosphere.

As the light vanished, there it could be seen.

The Armored Titan.

He roared, screaming his intentions for all to hear. He wouldn't allow himself to die, not now, not ever.

Nanaba watched in horror "they... it's true."

"Nanaba, fire the signal!" Mike called to her.

"Right!" She answered, pulling out her readied flare gun, lifting it to the heavens as she hastily pulled the trigger.

...

Levi glanced up at lightning strike, and then the roar which followed. There was barely a need for the flare afterward, he knew what to do, and so did Gunther and Mikasa.

"Corporal?" Gunther awaited the Lance Corporal's orders.

"Head towards the flare" he answered, pulling his mount to the left, in said direction of the rampant chaos.

Mikasa followed quietly.  _Armin was right. He's always right. Reiner... You bastard... What you did to us... To Eren, his mom... To Armin?... You will pay for what you've done..._ She snarled.

"Calm yourself, Ackerman" Levi ordered back at her, sharp enough to make her listen for once.

_He will pay for what he has done to us..._

_..._

Hanji watched the sky ahead of her, seeing everything that everyone else saw. "It's Braun."

Armin nodded, frowning.  _Reiner... No, why?_

They looked up again, seeing the green flares from the front, guiding the formation in the opposite direction from Reiner.

"We should fire too" Armin noted, loading his gun to fire.  _The Special Ops Squad needs the space to detain Reiner... The Armored Titan._

"Squad leader?" Moblit questioned, looking for direction.

"We hold back, if the Armored Titan has revealed itself, it's sure to cause some sort of reaction from it's close accomplice, the Colossal Titan..." She replied, slowly the pace of her horse. "There's no telling what will happen now, just be prepared."

Armin noticed her looking back at him, her eyes telling him not to worry. He nodded, glancing around for further signs.  _Reiner must have been in absolute danger for him to transform in the open... He must be desperate... His Titan form seems overly specialised for charging and tackling. Bertholdt... Extremely over specialised, it's very unlikely that he will try and shift... But... Will he blow his cover too, give himself up for his friend's sake?..._

_..._

Bertholdt glared to the left flank, knowing something was wrong.  _Reiner!_ He gasped, eyes widening further and further, the precipitation flooding down his face.  _Reiner, what have you done?! They know now, they'll all know... It's over... It's all over..._

He shot a glance at his so called comrades, Rene and Henning. They looking shocked, and nervous when they noticed the way he looked at them.  _They know... It was a trap. What are they going to do to us? We have to run, we have to get away, we have to go home... We can't go home..._ Tears welled in his eyes.

_It's over anyway._

_I have to help him, I can't leave him to die, not again..._

He turned his horse and forced his way past Rene and Henning, heading towards the left flank of the formation.

Rene was the one to fire the flare, symmetrical to the one shot after Reiner's transformation.

_We can't die here. We can't, Reiner... Not now._

_..._

Erd caught the sight of the flare from the right flank, before he saw a stray rider and his horse heading to the left, breaking the formation. "Come on!" He yelled, charging his horse, and those of Petra and Auruo's after Bertholdt. "Remember, don't kill him! That's not the plan!"

Bertholdt ground his teeth, desperate to escape his pursuers. He heard the words the blonde man spoke, he was not to be killed. They would capture him, torture him, force him to speak...

_Reiner... Is it really over?..._


	30. All That Remains

There was the endless pounding of the earth, one two three, one two three, one two three...

Bertholdt pushed on his horse, as fast he could, kicking back at it's flanks. He just had to reach Reiner, and just outrun them, and they could run away, Annie could get her own way out, she was tough. He just had to run, as fast and as far as he could, after he found Reiner.

"Nel-Draft!" One of his pursuers called in a panic.

He didn't understand what they said, not until his horse came to sudden stop, flinging him off balance. The horse then reared, forcing him off it's back. He fell to the ground and landed on his back with a large thud.

His pursuers caught him then, circling him so he had no escape.

"Don't move or try anything" Auruo warned down at him, extending his blade to point at Bertholdt, who looked up fearful, following the shine of each of the six blades that were directed in his direction.

Then the other two arrived from his squad, Rene and Henning.

"Send the word onto Major Hanji's squad" Erd ordered, and they followed it.

"Please! R-Reiner! I need to-"

"Shut up!" Auruo spat at him.

Bertholdt tried to reach his feet, but Erd dismounted his horse and forced him down again. "Just stay down, if you try to resist we'll have to take action."

"P-Please... I can't, I need Reiner, he needs my help! He-"

Erd pulled him up with one hand, and smashed his other fist against Bertholdt's head, sending him back unconscious.

"Erd, you didn't have to do that!" Petra yelled.

"It makes this easier, he was going to struggle, now we can get him restrained and secured properly."

...

It was cold.

But Bertholdt couldn't feel it. Not now. Not down there in the darkest and most shivering cell underground. Not with the straining metal straps that numbed his wrists a long time ago whilst he sat tied against the splintered chair.

How long had he been down there?

He didn't know, he would have guessed a single night since they returned from the expedition, but part of him really didn't care. Not anymore.

There was one thing scratching away at his mind. Where was Reiner?

He hadn't heard anything of him, when he asked the guards outside his cell they didn't reply. Even when he asked Major Hanji when she came to interrogate him, she gave him no reply, and preceded to ask away and away without getting another word out of him.

A whimper here, a weep there, and rough sob scattered through the halls in an echo. He wanted Reiner, he needed him.

Where was he? Where was Reiner?

...

"He's not said anything yet" Hanji sighed, looking down at the report she was readying to write up on her desk.

Moblit stood close by, ready to provide any answers she required from him, Armin stood next to him, in front of Hanji.

His hands were flat against his sides, as he looked away thoughtfully.

"He asked about Reiner Braun" Hanji added "but I didn't think it was necessary to give him the information he wanted at the time. But that resulted in his lack of cooperation. I broke the fingers of his right hand, one by one. He screamed, but that was all. What I found fascinating though was that less than ten minutes later, each finger began to heal. I tested the movement of the hand, and there was no reaction to pain. They completely healed themselves, so that's the only information we were able to gain."

Armin nodded, and was surprised. He didn't care for the fact that Bertholdt was tortured to a minor extent, he deserved some suffering in his opinion, for what he did. But he shook the hatred aside, looking at the bigger picture, Bertholdt's human body could regenerate like the Titans could. "So you want me to interrogate him in your place?"

She nodded "I'd like you to try, he might react differently to a more familiar face."

Armin looked down "what if he asks about Reiner?"

"You can tell him the truth, if you believe it will make him talk, considering his emotional instability. Do you know of any emotional weaknesses he has? Pain doesn't appear to make him want to speak."

"... I think they mentioned Annie Leonhardt a couple of times, I told them I was writing a letter to her a while ago, both of them told me not too, they seemed close by the way they spoke of her."

"And Annie Leonhardt is who you believe to be the Female Titan?"

"I have little doubt about it, she knows likely as much as Bertholdt."

"Alright then, you know what to do."

_I know, but... I really don't want to._

_..._

Armin halted as he approached the wooden door, secured by a pair of Scouting Legion members guarding either side. They readied to let him in under Major Hanji's permission, and Armin pushed open the door.

Ahead of him was a small, narrow hallway which lead to another barred door which was the opening to Bertholdt's cell. A guard gave him a torch as he entered the darkness. From there he went on alone.

He opened the next door, prepared for what was to come. Don't be afraid, stay calm, and don't get emotional.

He couldn't help but flinch at what he saw.

Bertholdt had looked up, with a look of despair that could hardly be described other than the way his eyes were. He looked so tired, so desperate, like he hadn't slept yet, and probably wouldn't now.

He sat there, strapped to that damn chair, wrists and ankles secured to an almost loss of blood flow tightness.

He didn't look like a traitor or a monster, that's what got to Armin most of all.

Bertholdt's head lowered with his eyes widened in horror, realising what was happened sure enough. "Wh-What's... What's going on... A-Ar-min?... Where... Am I?"

Armin sank back, closing the door he had left opened. A frown swept his brow. "Bertholdt..." he shook his head free of the cell, his old friend sitting in front of him, all of it "you've been taken into custody by Scouting Legion under the suspicion of being the Colossal Titan. You're in an underground prison cell."

"I-I... I don't know what you're talking about" he said quickly with a tremble in his throat.

Armin lowered his head, staring at Bertholdt's cuffed ankles. "I know that's not true, Bertholdt. They all know."

Bertholdt bit onto his lips with a hard bite, staring ahead of him, with the quick and fearful glance up to meet Armin's face every few seconds. "What... Will happen now..."

"You need to talk" Armin answered.  _Please talk, I don't want to have to do it..._

Bertholdt shook his head "I can't..." He whispered desperately.

"We'll have to make you talk, Bertholdt."

Bertholdt didn't answer, and looked away behind him.

Armin nodded to himself, accepting his unfortunate duty, and then began. "What is your goal?"

He gave no reply.

"Why did you break down the walls?"

Again there was no reply, only a quiet whimper.

"What was so important... That you deceived us all for, killed all those people... You killed all of them, Bertholdt... Soldiers, civilians, families, children... Friends, parents, brothers, grandfathers... What is worth doing something like that?"

The whimper became a sob "I can't... We couldn't..."

 _I don't want to do this, I can't, I don't want to... But I have to, I can't feel bad for him, I can't allow my emotions to take over, I have to let go of my humanity, like they did... In order to accomplish._ "Bertholdt. I heard that when your fingers were broken, they regenerated. How did that happen?"

Bertholdt looked back at him, making eye contact with tired red eyes. "They just can..."

Armin dropped the torch in a holder on the wall by the door, then made his way closer to Bertholdt, hesitant to do what he was going to do. "I think that's convenient, that you can do that... They couldn't, the people you killed I mean, they didn't have that sort of convenience. They died, horribly, painfully, slowly. Because of you... Because you... You killed so many people, they were all important, important to someone. My grandpa... Eren's mother, the kids that bullied me when I was younger, and Eren... What you did to us, I can't forgive that... Me and Mikasa, we can't, Mikasa would have killed you by now, she wants to so badly... For what you did to us... And you've done that to so many others, how many people have been left behind? Damaged, broken, alone? They can't come back to us, they can't regenerate, those wounds can't be healed, ever. Because of you."

... "Although, I can understand how scared you are right now. You're alone, you have no one right now... Surrounded by the enemy, almost certain you'll die in the most horrible way possible. I felt the same way too, once, when Eren was killed. But you... You deserve what you get, don't you? An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a life for a life."

"... But I don't believe that. What I want more that vengeance right now... Is answers. Bertholdt... I will hurt you, I'll hurt you so badly if you don't talk. You can make peace then, at least, stop all this, and help us... It can all end."

"... It will never end... Not until we complete our mission..." Bertholdt cried.

Armin closed his eyes "what is your mission?"

"I can't tell you... We can't... We just can't..."

Armin lifted his hand, balling it into a fist as he punched the side of Bertholdt's face. "You have to answer!"

Bertholdt tensed, coughing in pain at the strike, it wasn't the strongest fist that hit him, but it was Armin's. He couldn't do it though. He couldn't talk, he couldn't answer.

"Your fingers will regenerate if I break them, so this will just continue. You can heal, but you still feel pain... It's useful... It can go on as long as it has to, and you won't die so long as I don't make a fatal blow... You'll never sleep again" Armin took hold Bertholdt's index finger, and snapped it back, feeling the pain with him at the echoing crack and cries of pain. "If you talk-"

"No! I can't, please, I can't!"

Armin closed his eyes, and snapped the middle finger.

Bertholdt couldn't reply, not past his clenched throat and ululated howls.

It took until the eight fingers were snapped, with nothing but the thumbs to go when he finally found his voice again, the final piece of strength he could conjure. "P-please..."

Armin stopped, frowning down at him.

"Please... Where's Reiner...?"

Armin flinched, halting himself from taking a step back. He had endured the screams, the crying, the pain in his chest and head and ears. He wasn't ready for this, he didn't want to be. But he must. "... He's not here."

Bertholdt looked up, eyes red, appearing blistered in Armin's eyes, all he could think was he looked so scared. "I need to see him, please, please, Armin, please, where is he?... I'll answer what I can... I swear... Please, I need to see him..."

Armin bit his lip, and swallowed his fears. "Reiner's dead."

Bertholdt's brows burned, scraping together in disbelief, his mouth gaped, and his eyes looked frantically for any hint of fault or deceit. Armin's heart sunk when Bertholdt found neither in his eyes. "No... He can't, he's... It's not the same, we can survive most things that would kill you! He must have gotten away, he must have!"

"He didn't get away. The Special Ops Squad watched him being eaten, after he took out Squad Leader Mike Zacharias, it also resulted in the death of Squad Leader Nanaba when she tried to save him. If he can come back after being torn apart and eaten..."

"... No... He's gone then..." He looked away, silenced.

_I want to say sorry, but I can't..._

"Armin... Please tell me it's not the truth... Please, I'm begging you, it can't be the truth. You have to be lying!" He choked.

"I'm not, it's what was reported, they couldn't retrieve anything of him. He's gone, everything that he was no longer exists, he's just a ghost..."

Bertholdt made no further sounds, no squeaks, no mumbles, no sobs nor whimpers. He was gone. "We didn't mean for it to be like this... We never knew the truth... We were told you were the enemy, and we believed it."

_Who told you? Who sent you?_

"This isn't the first time I've lost someone on this mission... We had a friend, but he didn't make it to the walls... Someone had to take his place..."

"Annie Leonhardt" Armin nodded slowly, speaking carefully.

"... She's got nothing to do with this..."

"I know she's the Female Titan, a lot of people saw it in Trost... I saw you three together before..."

"... She'd never have told you anything, she never even talks to us... We just wanted to go home, that's all we wanted... But... Reiner... He... He was gone a long time ago... He forgot... About us... Why we were here... We lied to you, every day that we never told the truth... Please... We didn't want to hurt anyone, we couldn't go back unless we did it... I don't care, I didn't care... I just wanted to be with Reiner, and Annie... I don't want to be alone..."

 _I know how you feel, I don't want to be alone._ "You... You and Reiner...?"

Bertholdt shook his head. "He forgot... He really cared about everyone, he hated what he did, so he forgot who he was and what he did... We..." He forced another shake. "No... I wasn't there for him, I couldn't deal with it... Annie tried to help, she pretends best of all, to herself, pretends she doesn't care about us, about everyone else here... She cares most of all."

"But you still fight? If you all cared so much, why didn't you stop?"

"I don't feel anything for you people, not anymore... Back then... I felt pity for you. But Reiner did, up until he... And Annie, she's trapped, worse than me, she cared a lot about Eren, she broke when he died, she lost her humanity after that... She forgot too about it... Both of them... They've endured worse than me... Please, Armin... Don't hurt Annie, I know you can't forgive us, no one will every forgive us. But please, understand that we did what we had to, what was natural, we just wanted to survive... ... Kill me... Please, if that makes everything better... If it helps her from going through this..."

"Bertholdt... We can't kill you, not yet..." Armin held his burning head "if you don't talk, Annie will be put through the same thing... Worse..."

"Please..."

"You can plead and beg, Bertholdt, but it won't change anything. Reiner is dead, you've been caught, and Annie will take your place on that chair."

"You bastard!"

"Your mission is over, Bertholdt. If you want to survive now, and Annie too, you'll have to help us. If you want to even begin and repay the devastation you've caused, you have to talk."

"... They'll come, they're so much worse... Nothing will survive... Not us... Not you, or Mikasa or anyone else... If they find out that you know about them... They'll kill you all..."

Armin couldn't help but take a step back in fear. "Who will?"


	31. His Final Words

It was on the third day after the expedition that Marco wrote to him.

Jean received the letter a week after it was written, since the date Marco signed (as you usually did, along with his exaggerated signature) was from the 18th of August. He supposed there must have been troubles with the courier, or perhaps Marco was hesitant to send it? For all he knew, Jean may have died during the expedition.

When Jean was handed the letter, he knew immediately who it was from with having to look. Marco and him were close, after all, Marco was probably the only person in the Training Corps that would put up a decent conversation (when he wasn't babbling on about working along side the king). Marco listened to what he had to say, and then rolled his eyes with a simple smile, but stuck around to listen some more. Naturally, they got along very well, even after they went their separate ways.

They could put up with one another's ideals despite their own beliefs, what more could you ask for from a friend?

He was in the hall eating dinner when he opened the letter, chewing down some leavened bread while Armin and Mikasa shared an uncomfortable silence across from him whilst they ate and shared glances here and there.

When the envelope was unsealed, he was surprised to find several pages folded together. Marco really was trying to make him put the effort in, he must really be worried, Jean thought.

Upon emptying the stack, there appeared to be a separate page that wasn't folded with the others. He opened it, and read.

It was an official letter, written with a steady hand and bland expression.

Jean dropped with letter on the table, and stared at it.

"Jean?" Armin asked, "what's wrong?"

He didn't looked up, he just stared at the paper in front of him. "... It's Marco, he's, he's dead."

Armin was silenced, looked from Jean to the letter, and before he could speak again, or anyone else, Jean left the table with the sheets of paper crumbling in his tightened grasp.

"Let him go..." Mikasa muttered, placing her hand over Armin's as he readied to go after him.

Armin restrained himself, and sat back down to the silence.

...

Jean entered the room with hesitant gloom, the door slid shut behind him, and he fell back against it to the floor.

Marco shouldn't be dead, he reasoned, he was safe in the interior. If anyone should have died it should have been Jean, he was the one putting his life on the line, not Marco. How could it have happened?

Assault.

In the interior? How could that have happened? But, to Marco?

Jean clasped his face, gnawing at the flesh on his palm in an attempt to transfer the pain he felt somewhere else. Any other pain was better than this.

The paper in his other hand must have been ruined, his last words to him, his worries, his babbling, his stupid freckling ambitions, all were crumbled and smudged with sweat.

What were his final words? His final three, four, five pages? Damn that fucking Marco, making him put effort in. He giggled nervously.

He opened the folding of paper, and began to read.

The first two pages were almost mindless, so tough to read. Marco talked about his family, with dull utters of his past life, then about his new life in the Military Police. It was weird, because, Marco never really went into detail about such trivial things, not since Jean displayed a disliking to how boring it was. Why now?

When he started the third page, his grew more suspicious of the writing. It was as if it wasn't written by Marco, it was... Like some random piece of writing.

Those were his final words to him?

His fist slammed against the wall beside him, and he forced himself to read the rest, for Marco.

...

Jean didn't talk to anybody the following day.

The word had spread around about Marco, Jean found out because people starting looking more at him with their stupid faces, and Connie kept asking if he was alright, to which he aggressively replied how much he felt like shit. Everyone avoided him after that. It turned out that the Scouting Legion was used to death, the attitude assumed itself as 'get used to it, because it happens a lot'.

Didn't stop it from hurting though, seemed to amplify it if anything. Because what good was their lives in the first place if people had to ignore their existence to 'get over it'? It was wrong.

Jean thought of Reiner and Bertholdt, of how neither of them made it back from the expedition and how everybody was trying as hard as they could to forget.

And it will happen again, and again until everyone is dead. They were all weak, and everything ever known to existence wants to remind humanity of that.

Jean recognized that, he was weak, so he understood how the weak felt, right Marco? That's what makes him seem a good leader?... How, Marco?

A good leader doesn't just stand and do nothing but mope around, Jean had to do something, otherwise, what was the point of his life, of Marco's? Of anyone's?

...

"Mikasa?"

"Hm?" She hummed as she folded her clothes on the now 'spare' bed opposite Armin.

He supposed for a moment the question he would ask, as if there were somehow any precautions to withhold in the name of decency. Of course there were, there always were, but there she was, with him, for the first time there was a wavelength between them, equal and readily unsure of the most recent development.

"It's nothing," he said.

She frowned a mere moment to calculate his posture; low and hesitant. Armin was struggling, she knew that, but he was marching on as he always did. "Please don't stop talking to me..."

Armin jumped at the mild hint of sadness in the tone of her voice, his eyes widened in her direction. "I-it's just something stupid, barely worth mentioning" he chuckled uneasily, and decided to stop because of the dark aroma in the air.

She fell silent, and continued tidying her things once more, slower this time.

Armin sighed, and shook his head. He'd done it again, he'd made her feel alone.  _Dammit_.

"Armin," she hummed softly, the velvet tang attached to the syllables of his name. She didn't look at him as she spoke, she stood still, holding her tanned jacket with steady hands. "I don't know what it's like for you, going down there, with  _him._ The past few days you've stopped talking as much, you try, I know that, but... I'm worried about you."

Armin's gaze faltered as he took his time to look her over, despite the fact her back was turned to him, he could feel the tension steaming from her face.

At last she turned, and tentatively paced towards him. It was a metre and a half distance, but it felt delayed somehow, with every step like an echo before the next. She sat close by him, and leaned in to give his lips a soft kiss. Thankfully, the kiss felt delayed as well by a few seconds, whether it was real or an illusion Armin didn't know, but it was a relief.

"You can talk to me, I'm hear to listen," she said, looking into his eyes desperately.

Armin looked down to the floor somberly, before allowing himself to say what he wanted to say. "I was just wondering, about death."

"Yes?"

"Do you remember that old book me and Eren liked to read about the world outside?"

"I do," she nodded.

"What if we aren't meant to see those things? It's a magnificent world, almost like paradise. I'd like to think that's where we go when we die."

Her expression looked puzzled, as if she was trying to comprehend the concept.

"What do you believe about death?" He assumed to ask.

"... It's just natural, isn't it? If there exists a paradise for everyone to enter after our hardships in life, would that make life hell, and death heaven? That makes life sound pointless."

"So you believe in a great good versus a great evil then?"

She shrugged lightly, "there's good and bad in every aspect of existence, a person might want to do good for others, but could easily end up screwing someone else over in the process. Likewise with life and death, I suppose... What I know for certain is that life is all we can know until there is no more life, so in that sense, death is nothing, an empty void where life ceases to exist. It's an end that we may likely never know."

He took a while to take in her words, and what they meant to her, and to him. If life doesn't exist in death, that means everything they ever attempted in life could be for nothing, because they won't exist after. "There has to be something, otherwise, what was the point of life in the first place?"

She held his hand carefully, and spoke, "The marks we leave behind on the world once we're  _gone._ Life is precious, and the survivors life in the place of those who've fallen."

She kissed him again, a little more than a soft peck. One kiss, another, and another.

He wrapped his arms around her and pushed back until her back hit the covers atop mattress, he kissed her first this time and she smiled. He'd missed her smile, he thought and let out a pleasant sigh. He blushed after a moment, and let her go. "Sorry..."

"For what?" She asked, staying in place with her back against the warm sheets.

"Everything bad that's ever happened to you..."

She pecked his cheek and grazed her lips up to his ear. "That's life," she whispered, and held his face to kiss his lips again, "and so is this."

He smiled a real smile, dimpling his cheeks to a warm and comforting heat. He could feel his heart racing soundly in his chest, he could feel her's beneath him.

A knock sounded at the door.

For a moment, both of them contemplated ignoring the abrupt call, until Mikasa pushed herself back up. "I'll go get it," she insisted, leaving the bed.

Mikasa barely opened the door, allowing only room to peek out at the disturbance.

It was Jean.

"Did I wake you?" He asked in a low voice and a serious expression on his face.

"No, is something wrong?" She asked.

"Jean?" Armin asked, rose up and stood a couple of steps towards the door.

"Could I come in? This won't take too long."

Mikasa opened the door for him, and shut it as soon as he entered the room.

"Alright, I know it's late, but I need you guys to have a look at this," he held out several sheets of paper for Armin to take.

It took a minute or two for every page, and once he'd finished one, he'd hand it over for Mikasa to read. "It's from Marco..." Armin commented.

"Yeah, well observed, smart guy. But really look at it."

Armin frowned and asked Mikasa for the first sheet again. After a single minute, it hit him. "There's a hidden message in this..." He spoke in awe, staring at the words. The first letter of every new line tied together into a sentence, a meaningful sentence:

"I was with Annie on the nineteenth."


	32. The Dead

Her pale blonde hair brushed past her nose in a mild tickle of discomfort. Her face rested in her palm, covering her mouth and jawline in a privately thoughtful manner. She sat in her bed, and stared at nothing.

" _Annie_... What are you thinking about?"

She looked across from her, and saw the dirty blonde curls waving from Hitch's head. She stared at her a while and then decided it best to lie down and look away.

"Oh, come on... I know you're not a talky person or anything, and I'll admit it is kind of difficult to be around you sometimes... Well most of the time..."

Annie sighed into her pillow, and closed her eyes, in attempt to block out the then and there.

"Um... Look, Annie... What I'm trying to say is..." Hitch sighed, "you can talk to me if you'd like, any problems, troubles, I mean. You don't have to deal with whatever you're going through by yourself, okay?"

Annie's eye opened, and she glanced back at Hitch in a barely noticeable summoning of surprise. The truth of it was though, she didn't have anyone really, not where she was. So she stayed quite and pretended to fall asleep.

Marco was now dead. She'd killed him.

He'd known, maybe not everything, but he knew enough. She couldn't risk it, she couldn't risk being caught, not after all she'd done so far. What if he already told someone? To someone who would actually listen?

Later that night, Annie had made her decision.

Hitch had fallen asleep at last, when Annie found a spare sheet of paper. So she wrote, the words she felt and wanted to say. She marked the top of the page.

 _To_   _Armin_...

...

Armin glanced at Jean, whose arms were folded and his chin held high. All Armin felt to do was to glance away and allow a sigh to escape his dry lips, Jean was waiting for his answers. "... It's likely she did it then."

He scoffed, "a bit more than likely, don't you think?"

He hummed quietly, and looked over to Mikasa in a quick hint.

"This wasn't the first time he wrote something odd, you know. There's been others, about Annie, but they were more casual, the usual him.  _Annie's not feeling well today, I'm worried_. Or,  _I asked her if she was okay, she just stared at me_. He didn't mention it much, but, it was always there. The one before this, he said something I didn't understand until now.  _I went to see her again, she was holding something small, it was a ring. She didn't let me see it when I got closer, and when I asked, she said it was nothing, just an old gift_." _  
_

"Do you still have all the letters he sent you?" Armin asked.

"Yeah."

Armin offered the letter out to Jean, who took it back in a grasp. "Jean, there's a lot you should know..."

"I guessed," he frowned, glancing at him with narrowed eyes.

"... It's about Annie, and Reiner and Bertholdt... Annie is the female Titan we seen during the escape from Trost, and Bertholdt is the colossal Titan, and Reiner was the armored Titan. The expedition, was just a plot to expose Reiner and Bertholdt."

It took a moment, but, Jean finally gathered his thoughts together to conjure a sentence, "Reiner's dead."

"... He is."

"But not Bertholdt?"

Armin raised a brow, and shook his head, "he's been interrogated by the Scouting Legion several times underground, he's still in shock, but he's aware of everything, he's confirmed a couple of things, they were vague, but..."

"So what's our plan now?" Mikasa asked, stepping forward between the two in a steady stride.

Armin looked at her, and tilted his head.

Jean exhaled through his nostrils, and nodded to confirm his intentions. "We do what we can; we go take down Annie."

"Wh-what? Jean, that's not reasonable at this point," Armin argued, waving his hands in an mild fashion.

He hummed smoothly, and looked down at him. "I know it is, but, what good are we here, doing nothing while she's walking around. She killed Marco. Who else is next on the list?"

"We can't just go, Jean. I know how you feel, believe me. But we can't just go track her down, what chance would we have if things turned sour? Everyone in Stohess, and even in the entirety of the Walls could be at risk. Not to mention ourselves, it's not worth it to go unprepared in that kind of situation!"

"Then come up with something, Armin! That's what you're best at!" Jean yelled.

"Be quiet, someone will hear," Mikasa hushed them both, and sighed lightly. "Maybe we should do something, not today, not tomorrow, maybe not the next day, but we should be doing something. What we need to do now if we go through with this is to create a plan, going into something blind will put the odds further against us."

"Exactly!" Jean grinned, holding his waist. "Would three days be enough?"

Armin sat back onto the bed and scratched his chin, staring deeply into the cracks in the flooring. "Three days would be enough, yes, but... This... Would we be better off telling the Commander or Corporal Levi or Squad Leader Hanji about this? Abandoning our posts here could lead to some serious consequences too."

"So could doing nothing," Jean added.

"Yeah... I guess, our plans so far haven't worked the way they were intended. We lost a valuable source of information on the expedition that we'll never regain, and Bertholdt... He... He isn't going to make it if he continues the way he is. Annie is our last hope for information about the Titans, it can't afford to go wrong, whatever we do. We can't kill her, not unless we have no other choice. This can't be about revenge, none of it can."

"So that's it then? Three days?"

Armin thought a moment, before looking up to Mikasa. "What do you want to do?"

"I'll go along with whatever you decide is best," she replied calmly.

He frowned, but nodded. "Three days and we can go."

"Alright then, so, what's your plan so far? I know you've worked something out by now..." Jean inquired.

"Nothing much, but our first priority should be how we can get out of here for however long to do what we have to do, without getting caught by anyone. I'm still working on that part, but we may need some sort of distraction. There's no way no one will notice our absence."

"Sick leave? Family emergencies?" Jean suggested, before it clicked. "Sorry... Look, it's getting late, and we've got time for this tomorrow, luckily. You two should get some sleep."

"Yeah, probably, you too," Armin replied.

Jean left without another word, though hesitated before he closed the door behind him.

Armin stared at the door quietly, unsure if he was thankful for the silence Mikasa offered him. "Mikasa," he said slowly.

She sat herself near his side, and placed her hands onto her lap, and waited.

"I have no idea what we're doing," he admitted, looking up at her to find some sort of comfort.

She blinked, and looked back with the calmest of expressions, which only served to confuse Armin more.

"... I don't know how you've learned to keep so apathetic most of the time, after everything, I know I can't hide how scared or lost I feel," he said, staring down at his hands.

"... It's not that I don't feel those things, you know," she said in a slow, calculating manner, in attempt to figure out the best way to express herself in words. "Everybody feels scared and lost sometimes."

"Some of us are just better at hiding it," he added in an almost sigh, and rested his face into his palm. "Things just... Keep going from one extreme to the next, and... I know that we have to continue on for the greater good, but... It's difficult. You either lose the people dearest to you, lose your will to fight, or hurt someone that you don't really want to hurt..."

Mikasa was silenced once more, unable to reply.

"Eventually... We're all just going to be become hollow, nothing far from Titans, if we even survive that is... I don't want to become like that, I don't want the pain to go away... Because it means I'll be a little less of who I was, but... I... I'm so scared, it hurts..." His hand moved from his jaw to his forehead, grasping it fiercely. "The things we've seen, the things we have to go through... I just... It's so hard. And then  _us_... I'm terrified,  _this_  scares me more than anything," he took her hand, and held it tightly.

Mikasa stared widely at him, her lips parted, and her brows furrowed with worry. "I don't have all the answers, Armin... I'm just as lost as you... People may see me as the strong, fearless soldier that lacks better judgement for the sake of her personal feelings... But I just... I  _try..._  Everyone I've ever loved has been taken away from me in the cruelest ways imaginable, I find it hard to be completely useless now, because... I wasn't able to help them... My mom... My dad... I was so stupid, so full of life, I lived in the kingdom where nobody died. And then, one day, some men came to our house, my dad was smiling when he opened the door, and then he just fell, and wouldn't get back up... I didn't understand what was happening, my mom, she was brave, she ran at them with the scissors and told me to run... I didn't run though, dad was still there, I didn't understand that he was gone, and... Then my mom... There was so much blood, her eyes... they were... staring into thin air..."

"... Mikasa..."

"I know what it feels like to be scared, to be helpless, weak, lost, without anyone to tell you that it's okay... You don't recover from things like that, I still haven't... It's alright to be afraid of loss, it just means you're more prepared for it... I'm scared to be as happy as I once was, it's easier for me this way."

"... I understand," he whispered, unable to speak up.

Mikasa frowned, and pulled herself closer to him so that they were touching. "You don't need to be with me," she whispered in turn as she let her head fall onto his shoulder.

"I want to, it's just, sometimes it's hard... I know you loved your family, and Eren, but it's like I'm second prize, compared to him..." It killed him inside to admit it, he couldn't look in her direction as he said it.

She retracted her connection to him, and stared with disdain.

"I'm sorry..." He nudged gently at her side, remaining to avoid her pained gaze.

"... Armin..." She breathed, inching closer to him. "I loved him, I owe him everything, he saved me; a stranger, a stupid little girl that watched uselessly as her parents were killed. He was everything to me, my inspiration, my savior... But, don't ever think I care any less about you. You saved me just as much as he did. Eren, never saw me as anything but his sister, and I accepted that... He will always be an important person in my life though, and I'll always love him for what he's done for me. You, Armin, you're here, right now, you were there for me, you still are. I'm happy around you, you make me feel like there's still some sort of hope when it feel like the end. I'm not alone, because of you. I love you, Armin, and I'm grateful to you for caring about me..." Her final words echoed into his ear, and a deep blush painted both their cheeks.

Armin's eyes widened, before they furrowed together tightly with his contorted face. "I... I love you too..."

"It's alright," she cooed, holding him against her chest, before she kissed his temple softly. "I'm scared too."

...

The following day, Armin and Mikasa were approached by Jean during their dinner. He seemed cautiously thought, by the expression on his face.

"Hey," he greeted half-heartedly. "Any word on the plan?"

Armin nodded, "to an extent. We'll talk later about it."

Jean seemed bothered about something, both Armin and Mikasa acknowledged that fact, however, he remained silent for the rest of the meal.

Later that night, when everyone retreated to their rooms, Armin and Mikasa were greeted by a knock at their door.

"It's me," Jean said through the door, before opening it for himself.

It wasn't just Jean, behind him, Connie and Sasha stood.

"Hey..." They said, entered the room after Jean.

Armin frowned slightly, and looked to Jean.

"They know everything, I've briefed them on our plan, or what we have so far at least," Jean answered, "and before you start, I have my reasons. Think about this, if things get ugly, we're gonna want as many spare hands as we can afford to get involved."

Armin slowly nodded with a light hum of understanding, it seemed logical enough. "What about Ymir or Christa?"

"... Do you seriously trust Ymir with something like this? And if Christa is involved, Ymir will follow," Jean replied immediately.

"... Yeah," Armin nodded. "Well, everyone can sit down if you want..."

Connie hummed a moment, as if the wheels were turning inside his head. "Why not ask one of the higher ups like the special ops squad to help, or you know, be in charge of this?"

They all sat down, Jean, Connie and Sasha on one bed, and Mikasa and Armin on the other.

"It would raise too much suspicion if someone well known were to enter the interior unannounced. Even if we were to gain the help of the Military Police, there's no telling how many spies there are," Armin explained.

"... I guess so, yeah," Connie trailed off, "so... They were actually... All this time?"

Armin nodded sadly.

His head lowered, Sasha's also.

"What are you thinking, Armin?" Jean asked.

Armin took a breath and licked his lips before speaking. "In two days, we leave during the night with the horses. We need to bring some supplies, just basics, water, food. Mikasa is prepared to write a letter to one of her squad mates explaining the situation, but she won't get it until the following day when we're gone. It explains everything, so she should pass it on to the Commander, and he'll hopefully understand the seriousness of the plan and the consequences of interference. It will be difficult getting into the interior, we won't be able to wear our uniforms and our maneuver gear has to be carried separate, but there are traders that come in and out of Stohess, so we could sneak in among them. Annie should be near the headquarters, we'll have to lead her into a secluded area to be able to talk to her properly. I'm sure she knows she's been uncovered, certainly by us. She'll be on edge and will likely transform, but we need to avoid that. If it's just one of us, she might be less cautious... But, I need everyone on standby, in case she chooses to fight. Sasha, you have the best instincts for trouble, if anything starts going wrong, let the others know."

"R-right!" She answered nervously.

"Seems like a good plan, never doubted you'd have one. So, I'm guessing you should be the one to talk to her? You have the least bad intentioned look about you, and your not stupid, so..." Jean spoke.

Armin nodded, looking away.

"Any of us can pull out at any time, this is dangerous, and not just for us. If something goes wrong, hundreds of people could be killed, including ourselves. This is an option, but everyone here would be of great value to this mission, without them, our chances become slimmer."

"I'm in," Mikasa said immediately.

"Me too," Armin continued.

Connie and Sasha exchanged a glance, and nodded.

"I'll go too, if you need us that badly," Connie answered.

"Me too," Sasha agreed.

"Great, but remember there's still the option."

...

"He's doing it for revenge, you know," Armin mumbled to himself the following night, still awake under the covers.

Mikasa hummed faintly before replying, "he's taking it seriously though... He understands the odds we're up against."

Armin felt her nudging closer into him, wrapping her arms around his torso for warmth. He shifted in mild uneasiness, and then allowed his muscles to relax. "Are you cold?"

She shook her head, and nuzzled closer. "You're comfortable to be close to."

He smiled awkwardly at her, though her eyes were closed. She was beautiful, he thought often, and especially that night.

"Armin," she said all of a sudden in a soft, unsure tone.

"Yes?" He asked, equally as unsure.

"I want to ask you something..."

"Sure, what is it?"

"Do you still think about the future the same way? Seeing the world, I mean..."

"... Yeah, I do..."

"Do you think we'll be able to?"

"I hope so..."

"Me too..." She kissed his cheek with loose care, and did the same again.

...

Jean had told them the following night, you can still drop out, it's your final chance. But no one did, they packed up their mounts and headed for the Interior.

They went by unnoticed for a good amount of time, they reached the gates of Stohess after a few hours strained ride in the dark. It was barely morning, so they remained outside to stable their horses and rest before the confrontation.

It was still morning when they entered the city, hiding their maneuver gears under their trench coats, all except armin, who was decided to be without weapons when he spoke with Annie for the aid of trust if any.

They broke up into the streets, keeping far enough away from Armin not to be seen in association. Searching for Annie, Armin decided it was best to search for places that were out of the way, where she liked being most. He found her near some gardens, there were large meadows and trees growing elegantly in the seclusion of artificial nature.

She was leaning against on of the trees, appearing deep in thought when he found her. She noticed him immediately, as he she could felt his presence. "Armin?"

She was surprised, by her wide blue eyes and weakly gaping maw.

He nodded, and spoke, "hey, Annie..."

Her eyes narrowed once more after a minutes contemplation, the look on her face said that she knew. "What are you doing here?" She asked calmly, low in tone.

He took a steady step closer, and frowned, "I heard about Marco... It must have been difficult to have been so close, but not be able to do anything about what happened..."

She hummed somewhat in acknowledgement, folding her arms.

"How are you, anyway?"

Her expression didn't change as he spoke, the stoic face of Annie Leonhardt. "I'm alright, besides my conviction."

Armin frowned once more, and watched her carefully. "What do you mean?"

She stared at him, as if he was stupid. "I know why you're here. You know."

"Know what?"

She continued her stare, before looking away.

"It's hard for a person to go through their life without committing a single act of cruelty... It's almost natural, under certain circumstances..."

Armin's eyes pleaded for her to comply.

"When you look at me, Armin. What do you see?"

He looked at her, and hesitated.

"A human," she answered for him in a tragic tone.

"Annie... I need you to help us," he said honestly.

"I'm sure you have other sources for that," she replied, staring icy daggers at him.

"I'm sorry..." He said, as he looked away.

"They've been caught, haven't they?" She asked slowly.

Armin chewed his lip and contemplated his next words. "Annie, what are you fighting for exactly? What's worth all of this...?"

"... What do you fight for?"

He didn't answer, only stared at her.

"It's difficult to stick to your values when the whole world is against it, those who seek good, find the grave quicker."

"It doesn't matter, when you can go to sleep at night knowing the things you've done, that's when you can be considered truly dead. I'm not proud of some of the things I've done, and a part of me is gone because of it. Tell me it's not the same for you, if not worse..."

She fell silent under his statement.

"Annie... Reiner's dead, and Bertholdt's in confinement. Whatever is going on with you guys, is ending..."

Annie's hands fell to her sides, and her eyes went wide again in disbelief, she shot glances around her, until she found his eyes again. "Armin... You have no idea what's going on."

"Then tell me! Help us, Annie!" He begged.

"I can't," she said, and fished in her jacket pocket for something.

Armin saw, what she pulled from her pocket was a silver ring. He remembered it, as Jean mentioned from one of Marco's letters.

"Annie..." He tried once more, but she did not seem to listen as the ring hooked her finger.

She took a step towards him and moved her thumb over the ring, revealing a hook hidden within the piece jewelry. She motioned her thumb to go over the hook.

Sasha could be heard above, and not a moment later, Mikasa pushed forward, extending her blades.

It was too late, Annie's thumb was pierced under the pressure of the spike, and a burst of lightning erupted into the sky, connecting with Annie.

Mikasa fell back, and hit the ground.

"Mikasa!" Armin called desperately.

In front of them, the female Titan was slowly starting to form around Annie. She was barely visible.

And then, a blade pierced through Annie's chest. Her eyes were wide, and she glared down in horror at her open wound as the blade was pulled back out with a ragged slice.

It was Jean who had done it, his blade had struck Annie. The look on his face was fierce; his teeth openly grinding, irises as thin as the particles of blood coating the air. His face was splattered with her blood, and it burned off immediately into nothing.

Annie slowly fell to the ground, puddled by a steaming mess of blood and bone and flesh.

Annie was dead.


	33. Humanity

It's tempting to suppose that people, under the surface of hardship and strife, are good, or worthy of trust or respect. In spite of wishful thinking, the reality is one of life's greatest mysteries. Is it so natural to betray? To lie? To harm? To kill? Perhaps if one's life is under threat, or someone dear is under threat of being put to the sword. Where there is intent, there is a reason. So why then, is it so difficult to forgive, even if the circumstances are understandable, or relatable? Why is being human so terrible?

Annie couldn't have wanted it, just as none of them would want to harm her in such a way. There must have been good reason behind her actions, surely? Armin couldn't accept any other explanation.

It's natural to want to survive, it's the most basic instinct of any animal. Armin knew that well; he'd allowed others to die in his place out of fear, the most common reminder was of Eren and his sacrifice. Eren was the exceptional one, the great and terrible walking contradiction. He strode the earth, dreaming of freedom, yet lived day to day dependent on oppression and the kindness of strangers. He wanted to see the world he was born into, but he died before he even had the chance. He swore to annihilate the titans and restore humanity, yet he risked his life for the individuals, and gave it up for them.

Were they really that small? That insignificant? What impact could they make if they followed the lead of someone who died, and accomplished nothing. That was the most dreadful truth. None of them mattered to the world, to humanity, to the titans. It didn't matter if they died in a blaze of heroic glory, or without notice, or at the hands of someone they held dear. They would all one day die, most absolutely, and the world won't care for their passing, because the world is far too busy to care for the individuals.

"What the fuck is that?!"

A soldier called, a member of the Military Police. The man raised his rifle fearfully and shuffled closer to the apparent inhumanity.

"Wh-what?!"

"Shit-" cursed Jean as he looked back to his blood soaked blades. "Shit shit shit."

"What happened here?!" The MP officer yelled fearfully. The poor man couldn't have seen such a horror before. "What the hell is that?!"

"Calm down!" Jean yelled back, and dropped his stained blades. "We need you to get your superior!"

"What the fuck is this?! What did you do?!" The man's voice was shaking and frantic, and he had no intention of finding his superiors.

"Please, we need you to calm down! This is an urgent matter that is under the jurisdiction of the Scouting Legion," Armin aided himself to the situation.

"The Scouting Legion? Your uniforms... But this is the Interior! Stohess! You belong outside, not here! There are no titans here-" he stopped so suddenly and stared down at the melting mass of flesh and what appeared to be a young woman merged within. He shuddered, " _oh God_..."

A blinding light emerged, and it was a brilliant green strike of lightning.

"Watch out! Shifter incoming!" Armin screamed and pulled Mikasa towards the shelter of a nearby treeline. The others had followed, thankfully.

Then it appeared.

It was hunched over, putting a great deal of it's weight upon it's arms. It was considerably smaller than the known shifters and far more hairy. And it's eyes... The were black, much like a dog. But still it was humanoid.

It burst over to the corpse of Annie Leonhardt, and ate her remains.  _No_ , it ignored the titans molten flesh. It took instead Annie, intact into it's gaping mouth.

"Who _is_  that?!" Connie exclaimed.

Just as quickly as it arrived, the titan fled, toward the direction of the Wall.

"It's taking her!"

Mikasa pounced into action, and shadowed the titan.

"Mikasa!" Armin yelled, almost ordered, full of fear. "Shit..."

He looked back to his comrades, who looked just as ready to follow Mikasa's lead.

"Jean!" Armin called, his eyes had widened to the point of strain. "Please, take charge of the situation here. Make sure that word gets back to headquarters!"

"Right!" Jean nodded worriedly, "good luck!"

"Sasha, Connie! Follow Mikasa!" Armin ordered, heading toward her direction.

The titan scaled the wall in seconds, it's claws latched into the brickwork without much effort. It was out of sight in a flash.

"Mikasa!" Armin shouted.

"Here, horses," she called, and hurried with them to their mounts.

Through the gate they charged, dodging merchants, lords, ladies, and nobles.

"It's body- It's-" Connie started.

"It's evaporating-"

The thundering of hoofs charged down the road of the town, multiples. At least three capable steeds and riders, and a passenger.

"They're taking her," Armin confirmed, "we have to stop them!"

They raced after them, but their steeds were just as fast. Eventually, after avoiding and scraping past civilians, they reached the open terrain. That's when the chase really began.

...

"You, soldier!" Jean called, "I need to speak with your superior immediately."

"That was a titan! Inside the walls, inside Sina! I-"

"Stop it, now!" Jean grasped the man's shoulders and shook him firmly. "This is no time for hesitation. Where are your headquarters? Humanity will lose a great deal if word doesn't reach Commander Erwin quick enough! Don't you get it? My friends are out there, and they're gonna die if you don't take me to your commanding officer!"

"I- I-" the man struggled, staring wildly at Jean, trembling. "It's just east of here, minutes if we run- sir."

"Let's get our asses moving then!" Jean spurred the soldier.

...

Two days earlier.

Levi marched through the stables, ready to mount his black mare. "I want you all in formation, we leave now," his words came out in a more urgent tone than his usual nonchalance. He was the one to enter the stupid girl's room that late morning, ready to give her a firm boot when he discovered two empty beds and a note to Petra, addressing a dire mission that went outwith his, and the Commander's knowledge.

"Yes, sir!" His squad agreed, mounting their horses.

"Corporal Levi."

Levi mounted his horse, and turned to the voice of Erwin Smith.

"You are not to pursuit," the Commander ordered coldly.

"I won't tolerate the foolishness of a child playing the hero," Levi growled, but stood firmly in his place.

"It would be most unwise to intervene-"

"It would be moronic to do nothing, Commander!"

"Levi!"

He hushed himself, and looked between his horse's ears. It was most unlike him to speak so briskly. Damn that insufferable child.

"Corporal, yourself and your squad will dismount your horses."

Levi glared for a moment, but obeyed the command, and lowered himself from the saddle. His squad followed.

The look on Corporal Levi's face could be described with one word. Bitter.

"I expect to discuss this matter further in my office, Corporal. This matter has no business in such a place," he gestured to several other Legionaries working the stables.

He nodded, biting his pride.

"You're squad will go about their usual business today," Erwin continued.

"Yes, sir," they saluted.

"Corporal," Erwin turned, expecting that Levi would follow.

Upon entry to the Commander's officer, Levi slammed the door shut and paced towards the desk where Erwin sat.

"Levi, if you would quit your immaturity, I will explain my reasoning."

"Go on," Levi pressed, folding his arms. He was worried, he couldn't help but act a bit more primitive than usual. This was serious, and Erwin brushed it off as if it were nothing.

Erwin clasped his hands together on the desk.

"You're presence in Stohess would be severely noticeable. Whatever plan these new recruits have came to enact, is ideal to their circumstances. They would be unrecognizable there if they play this game correctly. You and your squad, however..."

"So you're willing to allow this disobedience, Erwin?"

"I am willing to acknowledge the consequences of interfering at this tragically late stage. They are probably nearing the city as we speak, if we were to charge at full speed right now, it would cause suspicion, confusion, and worst of all, distrust."

Levi stood silent, staring down at his Commander.

"I understand you've become fond of Ackerman, Corporal. But I will not allow you to ruin whatever they hope to achieve. You know that there are few we can truly trust, especially in Sina. Our presence there will alert our enemies, and could wind up getting those recruits killed, and the city destroyed. We must wait, and see if they are successful. We will take responsibility for this madness, and allow it to proceed. We must be shown to be in control, regardless of the outcome of this rogue mission. If we don't accept it, and take charge, we will be seen as a Legion of freelance idiots."

"It's not like they don't already see us that way," the Corporal uttered in mild jest, understanding his reasoning.

"At the least they acknowledge us as a collective. If we were to disrupt this, it would signal to the others that we are not, and therefore we would not be trusted as a force of military."

Levi took a moment to digest that sour notion that he could not do anything, but then nodded. "I trust your judgement, Erwin. But my squad are ready should we be required, at your command."

"This is good to hear, Levi. That's all for now."

...

Hours had past since the chase had began, the sun was sneaking downward, and almost hid behind the vast wall.

"They aren't stopping!" Connie cried, keeping up the pace between his comrades.

"They're still heading east! Straight to the next wall most likely," Armin replied.

"Into titan territory?!" Sasha exclaimed fearfully.

Armin frowned, and turned his head to them, "it's a possibility, but's we'll have to keep going and see what they'll do."

"Let's just hurry," Mikasa called to them, leading the path of pursuit.

They drove their horses onward, and indeed, they reached the wall bordering Maria.

"What are they doing?!"

They watched as the escapees fled, and scaled the wall, using maneuver gear.

"Dammit!" Armin yelped, and raced to where they left their horses behind.

"Where are they going?"

Armin looked around the opened area, witnessing the fleeted majesty of the Wall. "They don't think we'll follow them beyond this point..." He thought, deeply, considerately, sorrowfully, fearfully.

He took in a deep breath and exhaled. "Mikasa, are you prepared to follow them?"

Her eyes opened further in surprise, but she nodded quickly after.

"... Alright then..." He closed his eyes, frowning hard at his decision. "Connie, Sasha, you should both head back and explain the situation in full. Too many people will attract too much attention from the titans, if it's just the two of us, then..."

"Are you INSANE?! You won't survive a minute out there!" Connie challenged.

"It's much to dangerous, surely!" Sasha agreed.

"We haven't got time... If we allow this to screw up, if we let them go... We'll lose everything, again. There is something  _out there_ , worse than anything we've ever seen, and whatever it is,  _they_  know about it. We can'tjust let them go, we need to be prepared for whatever is coming. We need them, alive."

"But Armin, this-"

"Please, this isn't about us anymore. Anything we have left in this world will be ripped away from us if we allow this chance of survival to pass. Go, inform the Commander, just let them understand that we're going out there, we're finding Annie, and her captors, and we're not coming back empty handed."

They hesitated, and looked to one another, and then back to Armin. They nodded, and turned to leave. "Good luck! I sure hope you know what you're doing!" Connie yelled, forcing himself to abandon his friends, along with Sasha.

Armin took in a deep breath, and stared at the height of the wall before himself and Mikasa. "I'm so sorry, Mikasa."

"Let's go," she shook off the apology, and switched to maneuver gear to climb the wall.

Armin followed, and abandoned the horses.

Atop the wall, they witnessed the break of dusk. And below, they saw the cowards flee on foot.

"They aren't shifting, whoever they are," Mikasa noted.

Armin stared with a puzzled expression. "They aren't..."

"What's the plan, Armin?" Mikasa asked after a moment.

"... We follow them. Wherever they're going, they recognize it as safety."

She nodded quietly, and took his hand firmly, as if she was afraid. She was afraid. "I'm with you, Armin," she said.

His lips tightened at the sight of her, and he thought surely, that they may very well die any moment now. "...If we don't fight, we can't win, is that right?" He nudged her gently.

She then offered to him the hint of a true smile.

Perhaps this wasn't about humanity. Perhaps it was about the individuals. Perhaps... It didn't matter. But at the least, regardless of heroism, or narcissism... Someone, somewhere would always care. And there will always be someone to carry the torch. That was the most important thing to remember, even if all hope seems lost.

And then they jumped.


End file.
